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Everywhere you look these days you see something on how to be happy — how to manifest abundance, desires and success, find your bliss. A quick Google search will produce instantaneous remedies for the blues: the promise that it’s possible to find happiness in 10 or 15 easy steps. Some strategies promise happiness in as few as three steps. Whatever happened to experiencing the grace of melancholy, which requires reflection: a sort of mental steeping, like tea? It visits you like a mist, a vapor, a fog.

It is generally uninvited. And as some people are born into royalty, wealth and prestige, others inherit a disposition for sadness. I knew melancholy long before I met my late biological father….also author of 24 published books, once wrote to me: “I don’t know if you’ll be a writer, but you have the ‘up down’ thing too. Make creative use of it….



Melancholy is the emotion
When love is involved
Reflecting on circumstance
And choices so dear
Steeping in thought
Repetitive and varied
Bittersweet the fruit
Of thoughts deep with tears
I’ve tasted the savory passion
And the sweetness of you
Twinklebear my sweet love
You nourish me through and through
There is a before and after
In my life rich and poor
Poor before I met you
Rich with love thereafter
Today I am melancholic
Because we are far apart
You in charge of merriment
I circumstantially opposite
I alone with lovely thoughts
Finding joy in my sadness
Turning feelings of love in my head
Over making me sad and glad
A disparity in behavior modes
You frenetic with activity
I silently with emotion
Pondering so much too much
Melancholy is yin and yang
Sweet with thoughts of love
But bitter is the taste
From us being apart
Melancholy is fleeting
As forever and a day
Is the overriding order
Of the day and eternity
So I drink to you my love
Because I can’t drink with you
“You! Ale! Today!” you say
“How many?” Bad girl so good
“Not counting! Glasses are small”


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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1950s: Laying of the first transtlantic telephone cable between the US and the UK.

I had a bowl of Chex cereal. Shortly after I finished it, I developed a terrible tummy ache, and felt unwell and dizzy.

My Twin Flame “Twinklebear,” was checking out at the cashier at the supermarket 3,000 miles away, when she inexplicably developed a stomach ache, and felt dizzy. She had to brace herself because she felt so suddenly unsteady

In 1956, the first transatlantic telephone cable between America and England was completed, allowing crisp and clear communication between the two continents. Although the first transatlantic telegraph cable was laid in 1858, it wasn’t until the 1956 transatlantic telephone cable was done, that actual voice communication between people in New York and Hastings in England, was possible.

As what happened this morning between my Twin Flame “Twinklebear” and I demonstrates, we don’t need physical connections like the transatlantic cable to communicate in the most basic of ways. That most basic of ways, involves the synchronicity of experience that is characteristic of Twin Flames.

This Twin Flame synchronicity may manifest itself in a number of ways. It can mean having the same thought at the same time, saying the same things simultaneously, or experiencing the same physical phenomena such as headaches or tummy aches. One Twin in these cases, “picks up” the sensation from his or her Twin, defying distance.

The same can be said of emotions. Twin Flames can experience the same emotions, when one Twin (the “receiver”) picks up what his or her Twin (the “transmitter”) is subconsciously “broadcasting” via what I call our Twin Flame Transatlantic Cable. One Twin can feel stress, anxiety or fear in his or her Twin, causing the Twin to feel the same emotions.

Twinklebear and I are approaching the four year mark of our Twin Flame journey. In contrast to the love, joy, fulfillment, nourishment and support we derive from each other every single day, there have been considerable challenges that we faced because of the distance between us (she is in England and I am in America). We have weathered these challenges successfully entirely due to this Transatlantic Twin Flame Cable that is more durable than any physical transatlantic cable.

STRONGER THAN STEEL: Our Transatlantic Twin Flame Cable guarantees our enduring love.

I’m convinced that if Twinklebear and I were an ordinary non-Twin Flame couple, that we could not lasted in the face of the adverse conditions we endured in our Twin Flame journey–if not for our Twin Flame Transatlantic Cable. This is a thought both scary and comforting. Scary because I cannot fathom such a gut wrenching thing as not having my Twinklebear. The mere thought can bring me to tears.

The thought is comforting as well, because I know that separation will never happen because of our Twin Flame connection, what I call our “Twin Flame Transatlantic Cable.” It is because Twinklebear and I are Twin Flames and have this unbreakable “cable” between us, that the thought of not being with each other is so utterly unthinkable. That unthinkable scenario had been an unbelievable deterrent early in our Twin Flame relationship. Thank God!

The mere possibility of separating in the tenuous and naive early days of our Twin Flame journey, left us badly shaken and feeling gutted—like the contents of our torsos including our hearts had been ripped from our bodies. The three times it happened in the early days, only lasted less than 24 hours. That’s how bad it felt. Yes, it was that bad–which is why we reconciled after nearly losing everything.

It is because of this enduring Twin Flame connection–this cable—that our incessant need for each other has not diminished after all this time. It is because of this “cable” that our love and respect for each other, has actually grown.

As life changes around us respectively in our different locations, one constant will be our eternal love and need for each other. The ebbing and flowing of the eddies of life that swirl our each of us, do not affect our “Transatlantic Twin Flame Cable,” which remains strong as does our love.

The Bear Pact is forever!


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way


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MY TWINKLBEAR: Her voice is a thread back to the past.

The human mind is amazing machine. It is a repository for all memories, big and small, that have accumulated since birth. When memories are not accessed for review for awhile, and when enough time has passed—the more distant memories in the queue are subsumed into one’s subconscious. Like data on a computer’s hard drive, memories are never truly lost, even when they are “deleted” from non-use. They merely go to our recycle memory bins, waiting to be recalled into one’s consciousness.

Latent memories are a hot topic in the Twin Flame Subculture, because latent memories play a big role with Twin Flames who are reincarnated and find their Twins in a new lifetime. Latent memories among Twin Flames represent those memories from past lives, that are recalled from the Twins’ recycle memory bins. My Twin Flame, “Twinklebear” and I, experience latent memories frequently, reassuring us that the “feeling of knowing the other” that was experienced immediately on finding each other again—is proof of true Twin Flame status.

Here’s an analogy. I grew up in a household where my parents spoke Cantonese as well as English. Even though I didn’t absorb enough of the Cantonese language to speak it fluently, I can pick out key words and phrases to sometimes get the gist of a conversation. More familiar to me, are the cadence and tones of the spoken.

If I am on a bus and a stranger near me speaks in Cantonese, I inevitably get a feeling of warmth and comfort. This warmth and comfort emotion no doubt is nostalgic in nature, because it brings to my mind from my subconscious, memories of my childhood. Latent memories from childhood are triggered this way.

Whenever Twinklebear talks to me, I get that same feeling of warmth and comfort, validating the idea that Twinklebear and I have known each other from past lives. Images form in our minds, images that may be misty and somewhat indistinct, but they are there. Deep down in our cores, in the centers of our souls, is the knowledge that we’ve known each other since the beginning of time.

This profound inner knowledge, can be triggered by a simple sentence from Twinklebear, accentuated by the tones of her voice that I recall from a past life. The latent memories rush to the surface like a welcome kiss.

Tangentially, certain phrases that Twinklebear uses when she is flirtatious with me, make me squirm with recollective pleasure. These memories rise explosively to the surface, like a fully erect member. On my end, I react as I did in past lives, when she said similar things to me. Obviously, that “Am I now?” in English would not have been the same in our past life in Mongolia (of this location for a past life, we are certain). I am really hearing her emotional and sensuous wanting in essence.

Her emotional and sensuous intent would have been the same, in whatever language she was being expressive in. When I hear her say “Am I now,” I want to (use your imagination), just as I did in past lives when she turns on that wily feminine charm.

The role of latent memories is special for Twin Flames. These things I discussed are just a couple of the things that make us remember.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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Twinklebear and I are “cloak and dagger” Twin Flames!

Have you ever wondered why in these Memoirs of Sookybear and Twinklebear, I am circumspect about using our real names? First and foremost, it is because the nicknames of “Sookybear” and “Twinklebear” that we gave each other, are used exclusively by us. There is nobody else in this world of 8 billion people, that call us by these names. To understand how these nicknames came about, you will have to go back to my very first memoir written on December 10, 2016 entitled “Twinklebear.”

The other reason I use this cloak and dagger treatment in our memoirs, is because to do otherwise might disturb livelihood concerns and living conditions. Suffice it to say that I am always careful to protect our privacy, and one way I do this is to withhold specifics regarding our persons—save the fact that we are to each other, the world, the universe and beyond, in the fullest and most unrestrained sense. With respect to this, I do not hold back. Here in our memoirs, I give our love and need for each other, full-throated song! But outside of our Twin Flame Bubble, we are careful to prioritize privacy (and that is “pry-va-see” my Twinklebear. Ha!)

We are Undercover Twin Flames!

I will tell you that I am a full blooded Chinese American, and Twinklebear is an aqua eyed blonde Brit of Viking ancestry. Did I tell you that Twinklebear and I find each each other exotic? There are reasons each has for finding the other exotic, but mine are not what you might think. What I find “exotic” about Twinklebear, is her utter Britishness. I do find her irresistible for her blonde good looks and womanly charms, but what red blooded male wouldn’t? My God, Don’t get me started! I know, her eyes are up there. “LEER”

But oh, when she says to me in that clipped and sexy British accent of hers, “Am I now?”—I am ready to….well, never mind. Heh. But what I react to with respect to her “exoticness” is that she is so totally English. Every cell and fiber of her being is permeated with the Union Jack, and this is so hot and sexy to me! I am charmed beyond belief when she talks to me. Her mannerisms and way about her, that make her “her,” I love, need and adore.

You would think that I would find any aqua eyed blonde “exotic” for racial reasons, but this is just not the case. It is Twinklebear’s personality, fully formed in England, that I find so “exotic.” Her voice soothes my soul at the same time that it excites the hell out of me. It is like smooth honey, but spiced with flirtatious intent. No doubt we react to each other so intimately and familiarly from millennia of knowing each other in past lives as spouses.

We have felt this sense of “knowing each other so well” from day one when we found each other again. This is in fact, a chief characteristic of true Twins Flames. Not many reincarnated Twins are so fortunate, to have found each other like we have. Except for the intervention of fate and perhaps a Higher Power, we might have lived out our lives three thousand miles from each other, totally oblivious of the existence of the other.

This much is true as to why we find the other “exotic” to the point where the old adage “opposites attract” applies. It is because we find our different shades of coloration mesmerizing. Her fair looks and my dark looks, are like superconducting electromagnets for the other.

Three and a half years in from when we found each other again, I have to pinch myself every day, about the sheer amazement of it all. Like many Twin Flames, we are long distance Twin Flames for now. Yet, through the modern miracle of computers and tablets, we are able to talk, see, hear and yes—typical of Twin Flames with that special higher powered soul cord connection—feel each other. There is nothing “undercover” about that. We nourish each other every day. We sustain each other, and feed a need that is well-nigh unquenchable. Our anthem is “I love you” said 20 times a day.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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My Twin Flame, “Twinklebear”

I’m sitting here in the solitude of my home office, deep in thought about my Twin Flame, “Twinklebear.” Specifically, I am trying to gain a deeper understanding of our Twin Flame journey. It is difficult because the Twin Flame nexus between us is spiritual, while I inhabit a secular body. The complexity of this is trying to think on two separate planes simultaneously—the spiritual plane and the secular plane.

As spiritual beings, Twinklebear and I have a millennia old history of past lives together, stretching back to the beginning of time. At that inception of time and beginning of the world, Twinklebear and I were one spiritual being called a soul. Through some Higher Plane intervention, let’s say it is God—Our “soul” was split into two separate but equal parts beings.

This in effect, resulted in two separate but equal souls. These two separate but equal souls inhabited two separate but equal secular beings–our human bodily selves. As we’ve known through dreams, visions and latent memories, Twinklebear and I have had the fortune of having been reincarnated twice into the same lifetime together in the past, when we have been able to find each other by some miracle. Twin Flames finding each other in a world of 8 billion people, is miraculous, like two needles in a haystack getting together.

Here is the difficulty in trying to think on two separate tracks, those tracks being the secular and the spiritual. I am so conditioned to thinking on a secular track, that it becomes hard to think along the spiritual path–which is less familiar for obvious reasons. Having been reborn (reincarnated) into this secular world, Twinklebear and I are secular creatures by nature.

There are many areas of overlap between the secular world and the Twin Flame world, as common denominators in both spheres. For example, the unusually intense yet intimately comfortable sexual attraction between Twin Flames is exponentially higher than between non-Twin Flames, over time–and this is true of Twinklebear and I. Although biological factors control this to some degree, it is the spiritual Twin Flame factor that creates so much heat. It also spills over onto the platonic level, where we can only totally be ourselves, with each other.

In order for me to try to think deeply about the Twin Flame journey, I must separate out for example, my extreme libidinal desire for Twinklebear, so I can clearly see the purely spiritual elements of our Twin Flame relationship. I cannot be thinking of how I squirm and swoon whenever I think of her considerable earthly charms, to get to the nut of what it means to be a Twin Flame.

At the root of every Twin Flame love, is the desire for the Twins to want to be with the other, all the time. This is easy to understand in a secular way. I want to be with her constantly, all the time. I think of her all day long, and always have–ever since we found each other again three and half years ago.

This has not abated, a sign that we are true Twin Flames. She is the only one I can truly be myself with, the only person I can have a truly meaningful conversation with, relatively speaking, the only one I desire at a primal level. After I was able to weed out these secular elements of “this thing of ours,” here’s what I was able to come up with.

Underlying all of these earthly and secular platonic desires, are our two separate but equal souls straining mightily to become one soul again.

We inhabit these secular vehicles known as our bodies, each body holding our separated souls captive, unable to reunite with the other. Within our bodies, we go about our essentially separate lives, each body endowed with separate family histories, each body having a different name than our Twin’s name. All the while we go about living our lives, separated by our separate but equal physical selves—we yearn to be one again. One person, one soul.

That is why I in my home office, and Twinklebear visiting with her sister–miss each other so much, and why we can’t go any time all without thinking of the other. It is like water seeking it’s own level. Like a spiritual ecosystem gone out of whack, because we two base elements of that ecosystem, are not totally united. We seek homeostasis of our spiritual ecosystem. That explains the extreme and persistent love and need we have for each other.


I love, you Twinklebeare
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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Hey Sookybear! Yeah, you! You with the soppy look on yer face, every time ya mention your Twin Flame “Twinklebear” Lesley Maclean! Enough with the self righteously pithy explanations of how you and she were meant to be together since the “beginning of time!” We’re all sick and tired of your logic-fueled theses about how you and she are special, one of “only” 77,000 couples in the world, yada, yada.

Our collective readers’ eyes are glazing over from the tedium of it all, how much deep ecstasy you two enjoy from your “rare love,” how you both “suffer so much” from missing each other, every time one of ya has to go spend a penny for ten minutes, okay?

Yes, we all admire the way you two haven’t missed a day of speaking to each for the past 1209 days ( and that is figuring conservatively, since you two began speaking almost daily since you “re-met” (another Twin Flame term you always annoyingly throw around to indicate your past lives together before reincarnating into the 20th century) three months prior to those 1209 days! Enough! Gah!

Whatsamatta for you, can’t ya just say how much you love Twinklebear? Huh? Huh?


Okay! Fine! Whatever!

Wow, my alter ego really told me off, hey? Remind me to brush the annoying little bastard off my shoulder like unwanted dandruff! Hey! There is an upside to this though! Women love romantic talk, and there’s no one more womanly than Twinklebear, ya know what I mean? Here’s my chance to score some real big Twin Flame Points with her, before I revert to characteristically letting my eyes drift down from her eyes to her southerly charms (“WINK”)….


Owww! Hey Twinklebear, that hurt! Please put down your Donking Rolling Pin, my love. Ha!

Okay, no Twin Flame talk. No spiritual references, no biblical source material. I’ll leave the soulmate subculture terminology behind, and simply state the obvious:

Twinklebear, I love you so much, too much!

Sorry to mention those 1209 plus days again, but for each and every one of those days, I have thought primarily of you from the moment I woke up, to the moment I fell asleep. I think of you all day. I think of you during the night, when my sleep is surface friendly. I love you so very much, I almost burst from it.

Furthermore, I will think of you all the time in all the days forward, and beyond. In other words, I will love you forever and a day! My love for you and my incessant need for you, is like a indomitable force of nature, unrelenting and eternal. I have never experienced anything like this before. I have never come even one-tenth close to feeling this way with anybody else.

I love you! I love you! I love you! Me more!

Okay, Devil’s Advocate? How was that?


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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MY LOVELY TWINKLEBEAR: We discussed why Twin Flames are eternal.



God gives two eyes to every human being. There is no change in the anatomy of one person from the other. All are same in the eyes of the God. Would you believe it if you read an article which says some human beings have only one eye?

Same holds true for genuine twin flames. All are eternal and connected forever. Why would some be eternal and others not eternal?

You need to be asking this question to yourself. And when you seek the deepest reasons the answer will reveal itself. And you will stop getting confused with such articles.

Here are some pointers. A human soul is eternal. A soul decides to experience twin flame journey for their spiritual growth and the mission on earth. It may experience several lives as twin flames. (being split in two bodies and experiencing two different lives at ones) having a specific mission which will be triggered with their encounter in a specific life.

Every soul has an energy frequency. Lets represent it with a number. Say soul A has 1112345-123 frequency. Every soul have their unique frequency. Soulmates and soul groups have “similar energy frequency”. Soul B, a soulmate of soul A may have 1112345–122 or 120 (last two or three digits different) soulmates have a resonating energy with each other. You feel a very strong bond and connection with them. They resonate with you the most.

Now if the soul A incarnates as twin flames, it splits into two at the beginning of time. Now there will be soul A1 and soul A2 and both will have 112345-123 as their energy frequency. The same frequency. That is why you feel and sense them even if they are not around.

Their two bodies are just a physical projection in the every day realm. They are one energetically. They are a same soul. And that soul is eternal. If you understand this, you will know why and how all twin flames are one and are eternal. They can not be separated on energy level.


This rational explanation for why Twin Flames are eternal, is as good as any I’ve seen. It makes sense to me, it adds up logically. So often, one reads Twin Flame theories that are so infused with new agey hocus pocus, that they make one’s eyes glaze over.

But this explanation makes sense. When the author of that mentioned a Twin Flame couple’s “mission on Earth,” I thought of my Twin, “Twinklebear” and me. In our case, it is clear that we have experienced at least three past lives together, spread over seven or more centuries, dating back to 13th century Mongolia.

We mutually base this personal knowledge based on recurrent visions and dreams, and latent memories of these past lives. In Twinklebear’s case, she had the same recurrent dream of me in a past life since her teenage years. The dream was always the same, also included my mother, and abruptly stopped in 2015 when we met.

In our recurrent dreams, visions and latent memories of our past lives, the common denominators were our devotion and love for the other, and my role as Twinklebear’s protector and savior under dire circumstances, where her health and life were in danger.

My mission as her Twin Flame, was and is to keep her safe.

With regard to why Twin Flames are eternal—Twinklebear and I had this discussion today:


ME: “Why do you think Twin Flames are eternal?”

TWINKLEBEAR: “It is because love is eternal.”

ME: “That is true about our love, but love is not always eternal. Just look at my ex-wife and I.”

TWINKLEBEAR: “That is true. But look at the love I have for my Mum. That will be eternal.”

ME: “I do know that about you and your Mum. You and Mum are profound soul mates, and there is a genetic connection that facilitates such love.”


I had to agree with Twinklebear about her everlasting and deep love for her mother, and vice versa. I do think that the difference here is, that mothers and daughters do not share the same “soul DNA” that Twin Flames undoubtedly do—as Twin Flames do because they come from the same soul material of a single soul. What mother and daughters share, I pointed out, is physical DNA which may engender a strong fostering of love. But—not all mothers and daughters love the other so endlessly.

In the case of Twin Flames, it is the fact they are Twins and therefore they are eternal, that makes their love eternal—not the other way around. A couple with supposed “eternal love” does not make them Twin Flames. Only coming from the same soul at the beginning of time, makes them Twin Flames.

I love these intellectual discussions with Twinklebear! She is so brilliant, truly! And we are so compatible as Twin Flames, having the same common “frequency,” that our discussions are so stimulating and interesting!


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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TWINKLEBEAR: I love my brat.

There is only one person in this world of 8 billion human beings, who can understand my brattiness, and that is my Twin Flame “Twinklebear.” She is in fact, the only person who can satisfy my bratty tantrums with a willing enough ear and sympathetic mind, to alleviate these tantrums. She banishes these bratty tantrums with a few well chosen words of patience, love and understanding. It is important for you to know that I am the only one who can do this for her, too.

It is safe to say that Twinklebear will be the only one reading this memoir, who can relate to what I am saying, for we each are the only ones who can fulfill this function for each other. And that is the function of being the other’s mirror image sympathetic ear and effective brattiness foil.

Twinklebear and I cannot imagine any circumstance, where either of us would be comfortable enough to be able to approach other people with this exclamation of need and sadness, before we air what is bothering us…..


That is quite a preface, isn’t it? There could be no such circumstance, where this could happen with other people. It’s an impossibility. It is also safe to say that anyone else besides Twinklebear, when faced with this outrageously raw and honest display of emotion, would consider me clinically insane or worse. While I have a 100% comfort level with talking to Twinklebear in this way, the comfort level would slip to zero percent with other people. Is there such a thing as minus percentage? Ha!

The reasons why we are able to behave this way with each other, can be summarized with this glib answer—“Because we are Twin Flames.” I know this is not terribly enlightening to those outside of my and Twinklebear’s “Bratty-Sphere,” so allow me to elaborate so that you may understand what I’m talking about.

Think of Twin Flames as fully formed onions, when Twins (two people who were split apart from the same single soul by God at the beginning of time, destined to be each other perfect mates) meet each other after being reincarnated into the same lifetime. Now think of the onions’ outer layers of skin to be emotional armor, accrued over years of living. These natural suits of armor protect us from harm, emotionally and psychologically.

As the process of the Twin Flame journey commences, the two Twins come to the gradual realization, of who they really are to each other. This revelation is jarring and emotionally draining and sustaining at the same time. In our case, the process, at least on a cerebral level, was delayed because we did not know what “Twin Flames” were. But we knew there was “something special” and supremely unique about our compatibility.

As our awareness of our specialness to each other grew, the hardness of the natural barriers we had enveloped ourselves in, began to soften and fall away. They softened and peeled off like the outer layers of onion, and this eventually revealed our inner cores to each other.

That is how much we trust each other, as the process unfolded—that we can express brattiness at such an primal level to the other so unhesitatingly. In the end, we lay totally open and voluntarily vulnerable to each other, trusting each other with our very souls.

I am so confident of the uniqueness of this openness between Twinklebear and I, that I’m sure the phrase “…we can express brattiness at such an primal level” makes no real sense to any but my Twinklebear and me. It is one of those things revealed to outsiders, that makes the outsiders scratch their heads.

We cannot be this way with anyone else in the world!

We have created our own Bratty-Sphere Language, that assuages the unrest in each other’s soul, and quiets the nerves of the Twin. What brattiness is in its essence, is the cry of the soul for love and reassurance. The soul cries out in this manner when external and internal forces cause unrest. The Twin who hears his or her Twin’s cries, becomes the savior of the moment, by restoring homeostasis in the “brat’s” emotional ecosystem.

“Awwwww….my poor baby….”
“There, there…I love you..”

And so on and so forth. These innocuous phrases are powerful enough to calm the Savage Beast of Brattiness in my Twinklebear and me. I am sure even this revelation of our inner workings sounds ludicrous and laughable to others, demonstrating how truly insular and unique our Bratty-Sphere is. It is a world unto itself, inhabited by a population of two.

Being able to communicate to Twinklebear in this way, has shown me what real life and loving are. She makes my life smile. Forever and a day, baby!


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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A Twin Flame Dilemma.

The Twin Flame World is full of dilemmas. It is easy to understand why, as the sudden and unanticipated meeting of Twin Flames (or “Twin Souls,” two people who were split from one single soul at the beginning of time) pits one world against another.

The first world is the World of the Present, our everyday world in which ordinary people live their lives. In short, the world of non-Twin Flames. The second world, the World of the Past, Present and Future, is the world inhabited by Twin Flame lovers.

These Twin Flame lovers were chosen by a Higher Power at the beginning of time, to be each other’s sole perfect mate–because they were born of a single soul. The ever present mission of Twin Flame lovers is to defy the odds through reincarnation, to “find” each other. This can only occur if both Twins are reincarnated into the same periods of time together. They can easily “miss” the other by years, decades, centuries and millennia—as if each had a haphazardly calibrated time machine.

Unfortunately for Twins, being reincarnated into the same lifetime does not guarantee unlimited happiness, as the mixing of The World of the Present and the World of the Past, Present and Future, is like mixing water and oil. Think of the inherent challenges.

The dilemma lies in the very different nature of the two worlds, which are more often than not, at cross purposes. The World of the Present is firmly rooted in the practical, the “here and now.” It is the “here and now” which is dictated by secular events and people, the ordinary events and people which populate all of our lives.

The World of the Past, Present and Future is informed by “the ideal,” a world in which Twin Flame lovers should and would have been united through all time, from the beginning of time. When these worlds collide, the world of the “practical” and the world of the “ideal”—this is when most Twin Flame dilemmas occur.

Think about it. Twins that find each other in the same lifetimes, could face obstacles such as living halfway around the world from each other. They may be 70 years apart in age. They may not speak the language of their Twin. One or both may be married to other people.

There may be resistance from Twin’s relatives and friends to the union, which may be intractably conditioned in one or both Twins, preventing a comfortable union. Social conventions imposed by one’s relatives and friends from a lifetime of conditioning, can be a powerful impediment.

It is difficult and sometimes impossible for people in Twin’s lives, to grasp and believe in the Twin Flame reality. The reality of the Twin Flame journey is ultra-real and of supreme importance to Twins, but their relatives and friends (as well as darker forces set on disrupting the Twins) may label it as foolish fantasy, and try to influence and discourage the Twins’ efforts to reunite.

My beautiful Twinklebear.

My Twin Flame love, Twinklebear and I face such dilemmas. I won’t divulge the specifics to protect our privacy, but these dilemmas are very real to us.
Nevertheless, our Twin Flame history and bond is so unbreakably strong, that we will never part.

However, since my Twin and I still live in the World of the Present, we both get frustrated that our union is neither ideal or complete, we occasionally vent our frustrations. Twinklebear and I jokingly call these venting sessions as the “Battle of the Brats.” Ha!

Inevitably though, these necessary occasional bouts of frustration venting, are healthy for us as they teach us at the end of our respective bratty whinging and whining, that we can never part. This venting is a healthy release of negative steam. If you’ve been following our Twin Flame journey through these memoirs, you know that both Twinklebear and I know the gutting nature of even thinking of parting. It is painful beyond belief, and an impossibility!


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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To “yearn.”

Such a benign word. Almost a pretty word, that lends itself to so many circumstances, that it is like a chameleon tool. Within the verb “yearn” is hidden the power of diverse applicability. It can amount to a lovely tease, or a sledgehammer that bludgeons mercilessly.

I yearn for an ice cream cone.
I yearn for a day off from work.
I yearn for an ice cold beer.

All very mundane yearnings, I think you would agree. The magic of the word “yearn” is that it can apply to the ordinary, but can also apply to the extraordinary. One of the most extraordinary of human desires is the profound yearning for one’s Twin Flame.



to desire something strongly


That is very straightforward. To desire something strongly. But how strongly? The prosaic sound of the word, belies the gut-wrenching yearning for one’s Twin Flame (or Twin Soul). From personal experience, I can tell you that this phenomenon started for my Twin Flame and I three years ago. I distinctly recall one conversation my Twin Flame Twinklebear and I had three years ago, when Twinklebear said to me….


“I thought about you all day. No matter what I was doing or who I was with, all I could think about was you.”

That hit me like a ton of bricks, because I admitted to her that it was exactly the way I thought about her: all day long, from morning till night. She was my very first thought upon awakening, and my very last thought at night. It was uncanny how identical our thought process was about each other. Her admission plucked at my heart strings, I was so happy to hear her say it.

This incredible woman, she actually said that to me!

The level of predetermined design of the way we suddenly felt, implied a higher omnipotent power having a hand in it. It was too neat, too intense and too mutually persistent to be mere infatuation. That is when we suspected, and now know that something permanent was insinuating itself into our lives. Our yearning for each other has not abated, and it does now seem “normal” for this mutual yearning to exist, forevermore.

Needing her and wanting her, is a way of life.

It is a way of life for Twin Flames. I wouldn’t trade the way we need each other for anything in the world. This yearning has a life of its own, like a well nourished and beautiful predatory tiger, which thrives on our love and need for each other. It is healthy, bursting with vigor and voracious to be sated. It roars with pleasure when Twinklebear and I see each other!

We are lucky to have learned what true love is, a rare commodity known to few.

We have discussed this many times since, and come to the conclusion that much of our lives when we don’t see or talk to each other, is a holding pattern of “real life stuff.” This “real life stuff” acts to distract from our missing of the other, and a way to kill time until we can see and speak with each other.

Ironically what dulls the razor sharp edge of the yearning, is the knowledge we enjoy (with no little degree of comfort) that this yearning will not be gone tomorrow, next year, ten years from now or ever. This sounds like a contradiction, but it true. I am comforted to know that the intense love and yearning will never dissipate. This is why Twinklebear and I love the phrase….

I love you, forever and a day.

For us “forever and a day” is a wish, wish fulfillment and reality, all at the same time. It is our anthem and eternal pledge of allegiance, spoken with the reverence for the deep spiritual bonds underlying the yearning like the thick steel cables that support suspension bridges. These bonds span oceans of time, with no limit in sight. I will love my Twinklebear, forever and a day.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day!
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way

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