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Writing about one’s Twin Flame journey yields insight.


Dawna Kevorkian‎
May 19, 2019

I am beginning to realize that if I look deeper….that I am actually the runner in the TF journey. By me not believing that he could be in love with me I am not allowing him in. My heart is guarded, unopened, disbelieving. He came back many times. I never believed he would even come back once yet he keeps trying to come in….I am unallowing of it. So he turns around and walks away coming back each time in hopes that I will finally be ready for this love, be accepting of its true nature.

But my wounded heart repels, unhealed, and guarded in nature. Unable to wrap my head around the depth of this connection. Thinking I’m the one that has an understanding of it but in truth in reality he gets it, I don’t.

And so he is showing by his actions of coming back over and over that he is giving in to the magnetism of the connection/the belief/the understanding, and I stand here in disbelief, unaccepting of his reach. I need to realize/be accountable for my negative frequency that is not open to this love and therefore repelling it….This is meant for me to step up to the plate and look at my wounding that is blocking this connection.


It occurred to while reading Dawna’s post, that writing about one’s Twin Flame experiences is a valuable exercise in introspection. Writing about it stimulates thought which leads to insight regarding this highly complex phenomenon. The Twin Flame journey is intrinsically foreign to normal human experience. In a sense Twin Flames are pioneers in these journeys, every time they are reincarnated into the same lifetimes as their Twins. Every journey is new, all Twins, even if they’d lived past lives together—are neophytes all over again.

My Twin “Twinklebear” and I have had past lives as husband and wife, although we are unclear about how many. Even though we have innate knowledge of each other and what our past lives were like through latent memories, and retrocognitive dreams and visions—each time we were born into the same lifetime and found each other again, was a brand new ballgame in which we had to figure out the rules all over again.

We had to undergo all of the early phases of the Twin Flame journey such as discovery, denial and “running” and finally acceptance and adjustment as if for the first time. Twinklebear and I feel fortunate that we had passed these early phases that Dawna is apparently dealing with now. For us, the denial and “running”, are more than three and a half years in our rear view mirror. We passed the “Acceptance” sign over three years ago, on this Twin Flame motorway.

I believe that the rest of Twin Flames’ lives after “acceptance” is achieved, is a continuous “adjustment phase.” Regardless of which phase Twins finds themselves in, writing about one’s journey is a therapeutic tool which is used to gain insight through introspection.

With respect to these memoirs I write, they deal with the idealism of the Twin Flame journey, but they also provide introspective insight into what makes a Twin couple “tick.” Ordinary chronicling of daily events, gives insight and ultimately guidance, to what gives success in the Twin Flame journey.

An example is what happened to Twinklebear and I in the past week. Now, Twinklebear lives in England while I am in New York. Even though our Twin Flame connection is strong and we can sense and feel the emotions and thoughts of the other to an astonishing degree across the Atlantic Ocean—the psychic communication is not perfect. That is why video calling is so valuable tool for us in terms of being with each other.

Actually seeing and hearing each other in real time via digital tablets, super-enhanced by our strong Twin Flames connection—renders every video call 95% as real as if we were next to each other. We actually have “tactile” sensations of the other during video calling, that are real and palpable. That’s how strong our Twin Flame connection is.

In the past week, Twinklebear had some crises in her life in England, forcing her to spend inordinate amounts of time dealing with them. This displaced our normal time allotted for our video calling. Whenever this happens to one of us and our video calling time—which for all intents and purposes considering our logistical problem is our daily life together is curtailed—the other Twin feels worried.

An example of this was when I was suddenly hospitalized last year for a couple weeks, and Twinklebear and I could not video call. When that happened, Twinklebear felt out of her mind with worry. It was my turn last week when Twinklebear’s problems prevented our video calling. I felt awful, not being able to see her and talk to her! I felt so worried!

I find that my writing about our Twin Flame journey, includes more and more actual daily event information, as I find that it gives me greater insight into how we act and deal with problems. Writing about problems that occur, gives me a chance to forensically examine how Twinklebear and I dealt with problems.

This is not only reassuring, it also provides a template for how to deal with such problems in the future. Yesterday when Twinklebear’s problems in England quieted down. We finally had time to video call, she said to me….

“My Sookybear, I know you too well. I can tell that something is bothering you. You cannot hide it from me, you bad boy! So…what’s wrong? Unlike with other people who are self-absorbed, you and I always talk things over, then we ‘even out’ and things smooth out”

How wise she is! I said, “My Twinklebear, I’ve been feeling that were drifting because we could not video call last week (“drifting” is our personal slang word meaning a loss of the feeling of our connection)….our communication was down to next to nothing last week!” My anxiety was was palpable in my voice, and visible on my face. My wise Twin then said to me….

“My Sookybear, you silly billy! I love you so much. I just had to deal with these problems here. Awww…my poor baby! I love you!”

When she said that and after we commiserated with each other, consoling each other with words of love, I felt such a rush of warmth and love in my whole body—that I’m sure her pure love was shot into my heart and soul like a loving arrow. My anxiety fell from an “8” on a scale of one to ten to zero immediately. Writing about it now, reiterates such a clear idea of the pure love and kindness between us, that this memoir in itself is a lesson for the future.

Every time Twin Flames gain insight during the Twin Flame journey during a given lifetime, it is a small victory in a series of victories within that lifetime. Writing about our Twin Flame journey, accrues such victories of knowledge and understanding, with every memoir I write.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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As you know from “Transatlantic Twin Flame Cable,” my Twin Flame “Twinklebear” and I have this bond that is spiritually based—and is a bond that we were born with. This is a bond that all Twin Flames have, for it was established at the beginning of time, when the two Twins were split apart from one single soul.

This occurred to 72,000 single souls (according to biblical sources), resulting in the 144,000 separate Twins that are destined to try to reunite with their Twins. Some are lucky like Twinklebear and I, who have been able to reincarnate into the same lifetime together and find each other.

However, I have long felt that Twinklebear and I have an even more special bond—beyond the inherent bond that all Twin Flames are born with. For reference, let’s call the ordinary bond that all Twin Flames are born with, the “base bond.” It is the “default” bond that Twin Flames are privileged to have due to their shared soul DNA from the same single soul. But above and beyond that “base” or “default” bond, is a bonding of unlimited scope that Twinklebear and I achieved. Here’s what caused this extra special bonding between us:

It was us fighting off sheer terror together, for an extended period of time.

Allow me to back up, to give you a look at the big picture. Twinklebear and I reconnected around September of 2015. Through serendipity and perhaps as part of a Grand Design (which I believe), we found each other–and we lived 3,000 miles away from each other, she in England and I in New York.

Through a feeling out process at the beginning, we each felt that there was something there. Something that bespoke of a knowing of each other, from past experiences together. These past experiences were lived as spouses in past lives. The feeling was strong that the underlying knowledge of each other, was a template for living a continuation of the previous life together, in the present.

We knew each other’s sense of humor. We knew the deep sensuality with each other. We knew that we trusted each other implicitly in the past, and this triggered events in this lifetime that reestablished this basic intrinsic mutual trust.

In this very early period of late 2015 into the summer of 2016, our communication was lighthearted, yet serious. We explored this “thing” that we knew was a special bond, and later identified it as we being “Twin Flames.” Before this revelation, we did not even know what Twin Flames were.

The playfulness, the heavy sexuality, the melancholy from our arrangement not being ideal, the commitment to never part—it was all there by the summer of 2016. But certain phenomena began happening, which caused this “special bonding” beyond the base Twin Flame bond to form for us.

It was after the summer of 2016, when Twinklebear began to experience intermittent “spotting,” as if her hormones were slightly out of whack. We weren’t too alarmed at first, but we were alarmed. This episodic bleeding was infrequent enough then, to convince us that this was a normal cycle of life stages.What did we know? But, it began a slowly spiraling cycle of increasing worry.

As we rolled into the months of late 2016, the bleeding was like a frightening specter of something possibly wrong, triggering in us a mutual daily watch of whether this specter would appear, or not. We were on edge every day, as to whether she would get a few days reprieve from the spotting. We began subconsciously thinking of the problem as “it,” an entity with malice in its dark heart.

In this whole period in 2016, Twinklebear “withdrew” from going out much, as this is a natural reaction to underlying worry. I can tell you that this is the way I react, when under stress. This resulted in epic four and five hour conversations with Twinklebear, when we would commiserate with each other, over the mounting underlying terror. I resolved to stay strong for her, when I comforted her, and we comforted each other.

Christmas came and went, as did the New Years Day of 2017. By this time, Twinklebear’s spotting became heavier and more frequent. We really were on high alert now, dreading that something really was wrong underneath. My feeling was, “No, nothing will hurt her. I am going to get us through this together.”

By the summer of 2017, when our stress was at its highest from “the problem,” we had spent an entire year of concentrated time together in those four and five hour talks, bonding like nobody’s business. This long period of concentrated bonding, is not normally experienced by the average Twin Flame couple.

As we spent this concentrated period that consisted of talks that lasted four or five hours, we peeled away the layers of inhibition in each other, the barriers that accumulated over a lifetime of normal living. By the summer of 2017, our souls were bare to each other. There were no more layers to peel by July. All of the barriers were broken into dust, and dispersed by the wind of soul bonding.

This left our souls free to bond in an unprecedented way, with no barriers left to surpass to get to each other. Our bare souls ran to each other’s arms, to never let go. This was the key to our “special bonding” beyond the normal Twin Flame bond. This resulted in an implicit and total trust of the other, that we don’t have with anyone else in the world.

It was also around this time that “the problem” began to come to a head. Medical opinions were sought, on various levels. Answers were gotten, and we both became resolved to beat this thing, which we ultimately did. By early August, the terrible specter finally revealed itself to be a dark thing, that gave us a good chance now, of defeating it.

Twinklebear asked me this morning, “Did you have an epiphany, my Sookybear?” The answer was yes. I have felt that Twinklebear and I had a stronger than normal Twin Flame bond, but did not know until today, why. Now I know why. Upon reflection, it is because we spent that year huddled together like two people caught in a storm, facing off and fighting off the sheer terror that rained down on us.

We huddled together for that year, withstanding the thunder and lightning that the terror raged, in its futility to cow us. We two together, were stronger than “it.” We sat huddled and resilient, while that terror battered us daily for over a year. It is like we went to battle with this thing and watched each other’s backs, until the thing was defeated. I love you, Twinklebear.

Sheer terror bonded us!

We exceeded the inherent limits of the Twin Flame bond, from having gone through this terrible ordeal together. In the end, we emerged with this steel-like bond, forged in fire, and tested by a terror unknown to most Twin Flames. People who have not gone through something like this, will not understand. We do.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Bear Pact Forever
Twin Flames, podmates always
12 12 12 in every way


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MY TWINKLEBEAR: So sexy, too sexy!.

I’ve always had an urge to write, but ever since I finally hung it up with motorcycle riding, my passion for writing seems insatiable. This reminds me of the time in 1993, when I broke my left leg in a bike wreck, and I couldn’t ride my Harley for awhile.

In that instance, I mentally shifted my passion for riding my Harley, to a passion for guns. I joined a gun range here in The City (Manhattan), and bought a Smith & Wesson Model 19 .357 magnum revolver, a Colt Government Model .45 ACP pistol and a Colt Commander .45 ACP pistol. That maneuver worked, as it somewhat assuaged my need to ride my bike to some degree, until I was able to ride the bike again.

The situation now is similar, except that it looks like my giving up motorcycle riding is for good. It just feels like it’s time, and believe me, it took months of mental adjustment for me to finally accept the decision as a correct decision. So, I turned to another passion, that of writing–to fill the void.

Once I realized that writing was going to be my passionate salvation, I redesigned this website about Twin Flame relations, and my Going The Distance biker subculture website. My insatiable need to write is divided between these two websites.

As I write about my Twin Flame journey with my “Twinklebear,” I am usually restrained in my approach—because of the customarily intellectual way this spiritual subject is treated in the Twin Flame subculture. Twin Flame writers treat the subject matter with lily white kid gloves, while adopting a politically correct posture. I must admit though, that I have the urge to be unrestrained and write about the totality of our life with total candor.

There is a real world segment of our Twin Flame life, which is, shall I say, steamy? It is actually steamier than for a non-Twin Flame couple, because the sexual tension between Twin Flames is so much more intense than for non-Twin Flames. Between Twinklebear and I, it is so palpable you could cut it with a knife.

I’m sure you can appreciate why it is difficult me to write totally candidly about our sensuous life. In the back of my mind, I don’t want to appear too pornographic. Honestly, that is what a Twin Flame couple’s sensuous life is—it is purely pornographic in a good way, which is to say that no barriers between the compatible Twins exist–as they are totally open about anything and everything between them. That is the way it is for Twinklebear and I. What is “pornography” in its purest sense, if not frankness in word and action with respect to sex?

Twinklebear and I share anything and everything in our lives. There is an implicit trust in each other, that we do not share with others, bar none—no matter what our relationships are with other people. With others, there are inherent (and normal) barriers between us and others. That’s just the way it is. This total honesty in our Twin Flame life, extends its influence over our sexual selves. I am totally uninhibited with Twinklebear sexually, and it is mutual. I have never experienced this with anyone else in my life.

Even now, after I embarked on writing this article determined to be open without restraint, I feel myself pulling back, not wanting to offend the delicate sensibilities of the sexually sheltered and squeamish of the Twin Flame subculture. The Twin Flame subculture is strewn with snowflakes and delicate new agers. So much of Twin Flame literature centers around the spiritual, that I admit that it is difficult to break the mold.

Twin Flame literature is littered with a rarefied erudite (and somewhat pretentious) air about it. It would feel unseemly, if I diverged from this egghead approach and shouted to all within hearing and reading distance….

“Hey, I just wanna throw Twinklebear down on the table and take her, like the hot and sexy thing that she is!”

See what I mean? Ha! So, because you the reader live outside of the “Twin Flame Bubble” that Twinklebear and I inhabit, I have to be circumspect with you regarding the steamy specifics of our sensuous life. Sorry, once again, you will have to use your imagination. Let me just say, that I find Twinklebear so sexy, too sexy–and her spell over me is constant and intense.

I guarantee you, that after Twinklebear reads this, she will say in her inimitable fashion, “My Sooybear, you bad boy—YOU! ‘DONK’…” as she donks me on the head with her donking rolling pin! Ha!


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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Everywhere you look these days you see something on how to be happy — how to manifest abundance, desires and success, find your bliss. A quick Google search will produce instantaneous remedies for the blues: the promise that it’s possible to find happiness in 10 or 15 easy steps. Some strategies promise happiness in as few as three steps. Whatever happened to experiencing the grace of melancholy, which requires reflection: a sort of mental steeping, like tea? It visits you like a mist, a vapor, a fog.

It is generally uninvited. And as some people are born into royalty, wealth and prestige, others inherit a disposition for sadness. I knew melancholy long before I met my late biological father….also author of 24 published books, once wrote to me: “I don’t know if you’ll be a writer, but you have the ‘up down’ thing too. Make creative use of it….



Melancholy is the emotion
When love is involved
Reflecting on circumstance
And choices so dear
Steeping in thought
Repetitive and varied
Bittersweet the fruit
Of thoughts deep with tears
I’ve tasted the savory passion
And the sweetness of you
Twinklebear my sweet love
You nourish me through and through
There is a before and after
In my life rich and poor
Poor before I met you
Rich with love thereafter
Today I am melancholic
Because we are far apart
You in charge of merriment
I circumstantially opposite
I alone with lovely thoughts
Finding joy in my sadness
Turning feelings of love in my head
Over making me sad and glad
A disparity in behavior modes
You frenetic with activity
I silently with emotion
Pondering so much too much
Melancholy is yin and yang
Sweet with thoughts of love
But bitter is the taste
From us being apart
Melancholy is fleeting
As forever and a day
Is the overriding order
Of the day and eternity
So I drink to you my love
Because I can’t drink with you
“You! Ale! Today!” you say
“How many?” Bad girl so good
“Not counting! Glasses are small”


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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1950s: Laying of the first transtlantic telephone cable between the US and the UK.

I had a bowl of Chex cereal. Shortly after I finished it, I developed a terrible tummy ache, and felt unwell and dizzy.

My Twin Flame “Twinklebear,” was checking out at the cashier at the supermarket 3,000 miles away, when she inexplicably developed a stomach ache, and felt dizzy. She had to brace herself because she felt so suddenly unsteady

In 1956, the first transatlantic telephone cable between America and England was completed, allowing crisp and clear communication between the two continents. Although the first transatlantic telegraph cable was laid in 1858, it wasn’t until the 1956 transatlantic telephone cable was done, that actual voice communication between people in New York and Hastings in England, was possible.

As what happened this morning between my Twin Flame “Twinklebear” and I demonstrates, we don’t need physical connections like the transatlantic cable to communicate in the most basic of ways. That most basic of ways, involves the synchronicity of experience that is characteristic of Twin Flames.

This Twin Flame synchronicity may manifest itself in a number of ways. It can mean having the same thought at the same time, saying the same things simultaneously, or experiencing the same physical phenomena such as headaches or tummy aches. One Twin in these cases, “picks up” the sensation from his or her Twin, defying distance.

The same can be said of emotions. Twin Flames can experience the same emotions, when one Twin (the “receiver”) picks up what his or her Twin (the “transmitter”) is subconsciously “broadcasting” via what I call our Twin Flame Transatlantic Cable. One Twin can feel stress, anxiety or fear in his or her Twin, causing the Twin to feel the same emotions.

Twinklebear and I are approaching the four year mark of our Twin Flame journey. In contrast to the love, joy, fulfillment, nourishment and support we derive from each other every single day, there have been considerable challenges that we faced because of the distance between us (she is in England and I am in America). We have weathered these challenges successfully entirely due to this Transatlantic Twin Flame Cable that is more durable than any physical transatlantic cable.

STRONGER THAN STEEL: Our Transatlantic Twin Flame Cable guarantees our enduring love.

I’m convinced that if Twinklebear and I were an ordinary non-Twin Flame couple, that we could not lasted in the face of the adverse conditions we endured in our Twin Flame journey–if not for our Twin Flame Transatlantic Cable. This is a thought both scary and comforting. Scary because I cannot fathom such a gut wrenching thing as not having my Twinklebear. The mere thought can bring me to tears.

The thought is comforting as well, because I know that separation will never happen because of our Twin Flame connection, what I call our “Twin Flame Transatlantic Cable.” It is because Twinklebear and I are Twin Flames and have this unbreakable “cable” between us, that the thought of not being with each other is so utterly unthinkable. That unthinkable scenario had been an unbelievable deterrent early in our Twin Flame relationship. Thank God!

The mere possibility of separating in the tenuous and naive early days of our Twin Flame journey, left us badly shaken and feeling gutted—like the contents of our torsos including our hearts had been ripped from our bodies. The three times it happened in the early days, only lasted less than 24 hours. That’s how bad it felt. Yes, it was that bad–which is why we reconciled after nearly losing everything.

It is because of this enduring Twin Flame connection–this cable—that our incessant need for each other has not diminished after all this time. It is because of this “cable” that our love and respect for each other, has actually grown.

As life changes around us respectively in our different locations, one constant will be our eternal love and need for each other. The ebbing and flowing of the eddies of life that swirl our each of us, do not affect our “Transatlantic Twin Flame Cable,” which remains strong as does our love.

The Bear Pact is forever!


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way


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MY TWINKLBEAR: Her voice is a thread back to the past.

The human mind is amazing machine. It is a repository for all memories, big and small, that have accumulated since birth. When memories are not accessed for review for awhile, and when enough time has passed—the more distant memories in the queue are subsumed into one’s subconscious. Like data on a computer’s hard drive, memories are never truly lost, even when they are “deleted” from non-use. They merely go to our recycle memory bins, waiting to be recalled into one’s consciousness.

Latent memories are a hot topic in the Twin Flame Subculture, because latent memories play a big role with Twin Flames who are reincarnated and find their Twins in a new lifetime. Latent memories among Twin Flames represent those memories from past lives, that are recalled from the Twins’ recycle memory bins. My Twin Flame, “Twinklebear” and I, experience latent memories frequently, reassuring us that the “feeling of knowing the other” that was experienced immediately on finding each other again—is proof of true Twin Flame status.

Here’s an analogy. I grew up in a household where my parents spoke Cantonese as well as English. Even though I didn’t absorb enough of the Cantonese language to speak it fluently, I can pick out key words and phrases to sometimes get the gist of a conversation. More familiar to me, are the cadence and tones of the spoken.

If I am on a bus and a stranger near me speaks in Cantonese, I inevitably get a feeling of warmth and comfort. This warmth and comfort emotion no doubt is nostalgic in nature, because it brings to my mind from my subconscious, memories of my childhood. Latent memories from childhood are triggered this way.

Whenever Twinklebear talks to me, I get that same feeling of warmth and comfort, validating the idea that Twinklebear and I have known each other from past lives. Images form in our minds, images that may be misty and somewhat indistinct, but they are there. Deep down in our cores, in the centers of our souls, is the knowledge that we’ve known each other since the beginning of time.

This profound inner knowledge, can be triggered by a simple sentence from Twinklebear, accentuated by the tones of her voice that I recall from a past life. The latent memories rush to the surface like a welcome kiss.

Tangentially, certain phrases that Twinklebear uses when she is flirtatious with me, make me squirm with recollective pleasure. These memories rise explosively to the surface, like a fully erect member. On my end, I react as I did in past lives, when she said similar things to me. Obviously, that “Am I now?” in English would not have been the same in our past life in Mongolia (of this location for a past life, we are certain). I am really hearing her emotional and sensuous wanting in essence.

Her emotional and sensuous intent would have been the same, in whatever language she was being expressive in. When I hear her say “Am I now,” I want to (use your imagination), just as I did in past lives when she turns on that wily feminine charm.

The role of latent memories is special for Twin Flames. These things I discussed are just a couple of the things that make us remember.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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Twinklebear and I are “cloak and dagger” Twin Flames!

Have you ever wondered why in these Memoirs of Sookybear and Twinklebear, I am circumspect about using our real names? First and foremost, it is because the nicknames of “Sookybear” and “Twinklebear” that we gave each other, are used exclusively by us. There is nobody else in this world of 8 billion people, that call us by these names. To understand how these nicknames came about, you will have to go back to my very first memoir written on December 10, 2016 entitled “Twinklebear.”

The other reason I use this cloak and dagger treatment in our memoirs, is because to do otherwise might disturb livelihood concerns and living conditions. Suffice it to say that I am always careful to protect our privacy, and one way I do this is to withhold specifics regarding our persons—save the fact that we are to each other, the world, the universe and beyond, in the fullest and most unrestrained sense. With respect to this, I do not hold back. Here in our memoirs, I give our love and need for each other, full-throated song! But outside of our Twin Flame Bubble, we are careful to prioritize privacy (and that is “pry-va-see” my Twinklebear. Ha!)

We are Undercover Twin Flames!

I will tell you that I am a full blooded Chinese American, and Twinklebear is an aqua eyed blonde Brit of Viking ancestry. Did I tell you that Twinklebear and I find each each other exotic? There are reasons each has for finding the other exotic, but mine are not what you might think. What I find “exotic” about Twinklebear, is her utter Britishness. I do find her irresistible for her blonde good looks and womanly charms, but what red blooded male wouldn’t? My God, Don’t get me started! I know, her eyes are up there. “LEER”

But oh, when she says to me in that clipped and sexy British accent of hers, “Am I now?”—I am ready to….well, never mind. Heh. But what I react to with respect to her “exoticness” is that she is so totally English. Every cell and fiber of her being is permeated with the Union Jack, and this is so hot and sexy to me! I am charmed beyond belief when she talks to me. Her mannerisms and way about her, that make her “her,” I love, need and adore.

You would think that I would find any aqua eyed blonde “exotic” for racial reasons, but this is just not the case. It is Twinklebear’s personality, fully formed in England, that I find so “exotic.” Her voice soothes my soul at the same time that it excites the hell out of me. It is like smooth honey, but spiced with flirtatious intent. No doubt we react to each other so intimately and familiarly from millennia of knowing each other in past lives as spouses.

We have felt this sense of “knowing each other so well” from day one when we found each other again. This is in fact, a chief characteristic of true Twins Flames. Not many reincarnated Twins are so fortunate, to have found each other like we have. Except for the intervention of fate and perhaps a Higher Power, we might have lived out our lives three thousand miles from each other, totally oblivious of the existence of the other.

This much is true as to why we find the other “exotic” to the point where the old adage “opposites attract” applies. It is because we find our different shades of coloration mesmerizing. Her fair looks and my dark looks, are like superconducting electromagnets for the other.

Three and a half years in from when we found each other again, I have to pinch myself every day, about the sheer amazement of it all. Like many Twin Flames, we are long distance Twin Flames for now. Yet, through the modern miracle of computers and tablets, we are able to talk, see, hear and yes—typical of Twin Flames with that special higher powered soul cord connection—feel each other. There is nothing “undercover” about that. We nourish each other every day. We sustain each other, and feed a need that is well-nigh unquenchable. Our anthem is “I love you” said 20 times a day.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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My Twin Flame, “Twinklebear”

I’m sitting here in the solitude of my home office, deep in thought about my Twin Flame, “Twinklebear.” Specifically, I am trying to gain a deeper understanding of our Twin Flame journey. It is difficult because the Twin Flame nexus between us is spiritual, while I inhabit a secular body. The complexity of this is trying to think on two separate planes simultaneously—the spiritual plane and the secular plane.

As spiritual beings, Twinklebear and I have a millennia old history of past lives together, stretching back to the beginning of time. At that inception of time and beginning of the world, Twinklebear and I were one spiritual being called a soul. Through some Higher Plane intervention, let’s say it is God—Our “soul” was split into two separate but equal parts beings.

This in effect, resulted in two separate but equal souls. These two separate but equal souls inhabited two separate but equal secular beings–our human bodily selves. As we’ve known through dreams, visions and latent memories, Twinklebear and I have had the fortune of having been reincarnated twice into the same lifetime together in the past, when we have been able to find each other by some miracle. Twin Flames finding each other in a world of 8 billion people, is miraculous, like two needles in a haystack getting together.

Here is the difficulty in trying to think on two separate tracks, those tracks being the secular and the spiritual. I am so conditioned to thinking on a secular track, that it becomes hard to think along the spiritual path–which is less familiar for obvious reasons. Having been reborn (reincarnated) into this secular world, Twinklebear and I are secular creatures by nature.

There are many areas of overlap between the secular world and the Twin Flame world, as common denominators in both spheres. For example, the unusually intense yet intimately comfortable sexual attraction between Twin Flames is exponentially higher than between non-Twin Flames, over time–and this is true of Twinklebear and I. Although biological factors control this to some degree, it is the spiritual Twin Flame factor that creates so much heat. It also spills over onto the platonic level, where we can only totally be ourselves, with each other.

In order for me to try to think deeply about the Twin Flame journey, I must separate out for example, my extreme libidinal desire for Twinklebear, so I can clearly see the purely spiritual elements of our Twin Flame relationship. I cannot be thinking of how I squirm and swoon whenever I think of her considerable earthly charms, to get to the nut of what it means to be a Twin Flame.

At the root of every Twin Flame love, is the desire for the Twins to want to be with the other, all the time. This is easy to understand in a secular way. I want to be with her constantly, all the time. I think of her all day long, and always have–ever since we found each other again three and half years ago.

This has not abated, a sign that we are true Twin Flames. She is the only one I can truly be myself with, the only person I can have a truly meaningful conversation with, relatively speaking, the only one I desire at a primal level. After I was able to weed out these secular elements of “this thing of ours,” here’s what I was able to come up with.

Underlying all of these earthly and secular platonic desires, are our two separate but equal souls straining mightily to become one soul again.

We inhabit these secular vehicles known as our bodies, each body holding our separated souls captive, unable to reunite with the other. Within our bodies, we go about our essentially separate lives, each body endowed with separate family histories, each body having a different name than our Twin’s name. All the while we go about living our lives, separated by our separate but equal physical selves—we yearn to be one again. One person, one soul.

That is why I in my home office, and Twinklebear visiting with her sister–miss each other so much, and why we can’t go any time all without thinking of the other. It is like water seeking it’s own level. Like a spiritual ecosystem gone out of whack, because we two base elements of that ecosystem, are not totally united. We seek homeostasis of our spiritual ecosystem. That explains the extreme and persistent love and need we have for each other.


I love, you Twinklebeare
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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Hey Sookybear! Yeah, you! You with the soppy look on yer face, every time ya mention your Twin Flame “Twinklebear” Lesley Maclean! Enough with the self righteously pithy explanations of how you and she were meant to be together since the “beginning of time!” We’re all sick and tired of your logic-fueled theses about how you and she are special, one of “only” 77,000 couples in the world, yada, yada.

Our collective readers’ eyes are glazing over from the tedium of it all, how much deep ecstasy you two enjoy from your “rare love,” how you both “suffer so much” from missing each other, every time one of ya has to go spend a penny for ten minutes, okay?

Yes, we all admire the way you two haven’t missed a day of speaking to each for the past 1209 days ( and that is figuring conservatively, since you two began speaking almost daily since you “re-met” (another Twin Flame term you always annoyingly throw around to indicate your past lives together before reincarnating into the 20th century) three months prior to those 1209 days! Enough! Gah!

Whatsamatta for you, can’t ya just say how much you love Twinklebear? Huh? Huh?


Okay! Fine! Whatever!

Wow, my alter ego really told me off, hey? Remind me to brush the annoying little bastard off my shoulder like unwanted dandruff! Hey! There is an upside to this though! Women love romantic talk, and there’s no one more womanly than Twinklebear, ya know what I mean? Here’s my chance to score some real big Twin Flame Points with her, before I revert to characteristically letting my eyes drift down from her eyes to her southerly charms (“WINK”)….


Owww! Hey Twinklebear, that hurt! Please put down your Donking Rolling Pin, my love. Ha!

Okay, no Twin Flame talk. No spiritual references, no biblical source material. I’ll leave the soulmate subculture terminology behind, and simply state the obvious:

Twinklebear, I love you so much, too much!

Sorry to mention those 1209 plus days again, but for each and every one of those days, I have thought primarily of you from the moment I woke up, to the moment I fell asleep. I think of you all day. I think of you during the night, when my sleep is surface friendly. I love you so very much, I almost burst from it.

Furthermore, I will think of you all the time in all the days forward, and beyond. In other words, I will love you forever and a day! My love for you and my incessant need for you, is like a indomitable force of nature, unrelenting and eternal. I have never experienced anything like this before. I have never come even one-tenth close to feeling this way with anybody else.

I love you! I love you! I love you! Me more!

Okay, Devil’s Advocate? How was that?


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


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MY LOVELY TWINKLEBEAR: We discussed why Twin Flames are eternal.



God gives two eyes to every human being. There is no change in the anatomy of one person from the other. All are same in the eyes of the God. Would you believe it if you read an article which says some human beings have only one eye?

Same holds true for genuine twin flames. All are eternal and connected forever. Why would some be eternal and others not eternal?

You need to be asking this question to yourself. And when you seek the deepest reasons the answer will reveal itself. And you will stop getting confused with such articles.

Here are some pointers. A human soul is eternal. A soul decides to experience twin flame journey for their spiritual growth and the mission on earth. It may experience several lives as twin flames. (being split in two bodies and experiencing two different lives at ones) having a specific mission which will be triggered with their encounter in a specific life.

Every soul has an energy frequency. Lets represent it with a number. Say soul A has 1112345-123 frequency. Every soul have their unique frequency. Soulmates and soul groups have “similar energy frequency”. Soul B, a soulmate of soul A may have 1112345–122 or 120 (last two or three digits different) soulmates have a resonating energy with each other. You feel a very strong bond and connection with them. They resonate with you the most.

Now if the soul A incarnates as twin flames, it splits into two at the beginning of time. Now there will be soul A1 and soul A2 and both will have 112345-123 as their energy frequency. The same frequency. That is why you feel and sense them even if they are not around.

Their two bodies are just a physical projection in the every day realm. They are one energetically. They are a same soul. And that soul is eternal. If you understand this, you will know why and how all twin flames are one and are eternal. They can not be separated on energy level.


This rational explanation for why Twin Flames are eternal, is as good as any I’ve seen. It makes sense to me, it adds up logically. So often, one reads Twin Flame theories that are so infused with new agey hocus pocus, that they make one’s eyes glaze over.

But this explanation makes sense. When the author of that mentioned a Twin Flame couple’s “mission on Earth,” I thought of my Twin, “Twinklebear” and me. In our case, it is clear that we have experienced at least three past lives together, spread over seven or more centuries, dating back to 13th century Mongolia.

We mutually base this personal knowledge based on recurrent visions and dreams, and latent memories of these past lives. In Twinklebear’s case, she had the same recurrent dream of me in a past life since her teenage years. The dream was always the same, also included my mother, and abruptly stopped in 2015 when we met.

In our recurrent dreams, visions and latent memories of our past lives, the common denominators were our devotion and love for the other, and my role as Twinklebear’s protector and savior under dire circumstances, where her health and life were in danger.

My mission as her Twin Flame, was and is to keep her safe.

With regard to why Twin Flames are eternal—Twinklebear and I had this discussion today:


ME: “Why do you think Twin Flames are eternal?”

TWINKLEBEAR: “It is because love is eternal.”

ME: “That is true about our love, but love is not always eternal. Just look at my ex-wife and I.”

TWINKLEBEAR: “That is true. But look at the love I have for my Mum. That will be eternal.”

ME: “I do know that about you and your Mum. You and Mum are profound soul mates, and there is a genetic connection that facilitates such love.”


I had to agree with Twinklebear about her everlasting and deep love for her mother, and vice versa. I do think that the difference here is, that mothers and daughters do not share the same “soul DNA” that Twin Flames undoubtedly do—as Twin Flames do because they come from the same soul material of a single soul. What mother and daughters share, I pointed out, is physical DNA which may engender a strong fostering of love. But—not all mothers and daughters love the other so endlessly.

In the case of Twin Flames, it is the fact they are Twins and therefore they are eternal, that makes their love eternal—not the other way around. A couple with supposed “eternal love” does not make them Twin Flames. Only coming from the same soul at the beginning of time, makes them Twin Flames.

I love these intellectual discussions with Twinklebear! She is so brilliant, truly! And we are so compatible as Twin Flames, having the same common “frequency,” that our discussions are so stimulating and interesting!


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

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