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FOREVER AND A DAY: How long I will love my Twinklebear



Twin flames are said to be each one half of a soul, split into two. Conversely, a soul mate is a separate soul with which you have great attachment or connection over many lifetimes. Twin flames however, supposedly share an even greater connection; being two parts of the same entity. Twin flames are in fact, two incarnations of a soul occurring at one time.

In the case of twin flames, they feel an irresistible urge to share companionship and love within a lifetime and beyond.

Previous relationships with soul mates may not feel as deep and connected as with a twin flame. A soul mate can feel like the absolute match for you but a twin flame you really feel ‘one’ with. There is a reason for that; you are ‘one’.

You are born with certain personality biases because of other incarnations, but you develop all over again because of the stimulus you receive during this new lifetime. You develop, for the most part, a new personality each lifetime; with new preferences, biases, beliefs, wants, needs, aspirations and so on, due to the unique stimulus you are receiving.

Your higher self is far more intelligent than you are now, with a multidimensional mind, able to process the learning and experience of many lifetimes all at once, be all of those personalities simultaneously and experience them once more when ever it chooses in an instant. The higher self is the sum of all of your lifetimes, personalities and more, in it’s great wisdom and intelligence.

Twin flames are simply two incarnations of your soul occurring at one time.

Traditionally, twin flames are seen as being male and female lovers with a very special, irresistible, magnetic connection. Given that there are infinite possibilities for learning and experience within creation, the higher self can be creative with its incarnations.

There have been many instances of past life regression or mediumistic contact which have suggested how a twin flame of a person has been a partner in a previous life.

So the difference between soul mates and twin flames is that a soul mate in not manifested by your higher self, not part of your overriding higher consciousness, not another incarnation of yourself.

Twin flames, and indeed soul mates, may meet under synchronous conditions. It’s likely that before birth, you incorporated your meeting into your life plan, hence it seems that you met on purpose. This could well be the case, and the circumstances can seem like an incredible coincidence. This can provide confirmation that you were destined to meet.

Twin flames, both being incarnations of the same soul have a lot in common.

You might meet someone in your dreams, feel like you know them very well, and share love with them – this could be a twin flame entity visiting you in your dream to wish you well.


This last point is significant, because my twin flame Twinklebear, has had a recurrent dream about me since the age of 14. You can read about this in “MEMOIR: HE WAS ASIAN AND WORE ALL BLACK” Twinklebear generally had this same exact dream in which I visited her, at least twice a year until she stopped having this dream in late 2015. Can you guess why she stopped having this dream in late 2015?

Because it was in late 2015 when Twinklbear and I met.

At least in this lifetime. What that excerpt said with respect to our “higher selves” being more intelligent than we are, is absolutely true. That accounts for why Twinklebear’s and my higher self, instantly recognized the other from previous incarnations.

“Twin flames are simply two incarnations of your soul occurring at one same time”

And I’ve gotta tell ya, it definitely feels like she and I are of the same soul that have incarnated, within this lifetime. Also rampant with Twinklebear—because she is the more spiritually sensitive partner, are dreams, visions and latent memories of us in previous lives. For my part, I have latent memories of us.

“Your higher self is far more intelligent than you are….able to process the learning and experience of many lifetimes….”

How very true this was of Twinklebear and me. For her part, her “higher self”was able to recognize me instantly as her twin flame. As Twinklebear puts it in retrospect….

“As soon as I saw you Sookybear, I just sort of knew. I knew that we were meant to be together. I didn’t know why I knew this. I just did”

My reaction was the same, but more nuanced. There was a part of me, way deep down into the core of my heart and soul, that knew that Twinklebear was magnetic to me beyond belief. I knew that I was a dead duck.

I knew instinctively, that I was about to fall down into the rabbit hole of extreme ecstasy, limitless joy and one hell of a roller coaster of male-female love, that only a Hollywood script writer could accurately conjure up.. My subconscious probably silently proclaimed….

God help us!

Ha! We were in deep doo doo! Right up to her pretty neck, and my rough neck, baby! Ah, the deep ddo doo of twin flame love—there ain’t nuthin’ like it it!

Yes, God help me because I love Twinklebear so much—too much!

It is a true fact that I think about her all day, and that has been true since we met in late 2015.

But, as with anything in life, nothing is perfect, including what should be perfect. Namely, twin flame relationships. That is the problem with twin flame relationships that are suddenly, and clumsily dropped down on people ensconced in the “real world.”

Logistics, life before rediscovery of each other, the overrun of emotions that occurs from a misfit of fated (and ideal) twin flame dynamics and preexisting conditions, it would be silly to understate these negative influences.

In every life, in every “real world life” that is (as opposed to twin flame life), there are blips on the Serenity Graph.

That is inevitable. My individual life, and Twinkle’s, are no exception. Look at the health upheavals we both have suffered. There are lesser upheavals, less important, yet no less disturbing when they happen.

This results in overflows of emotion, that are understandable, but upsetting at the time. Hey man, this is just part of the process. The twin flame process of withstanding stormy weather in the twin flame realm.

But I can state unequivocally, that I love my Twinklebear unconditionally, and I will love her totally, without reservation, second to none—forever and a day.

Twinklebear and I always end our good nights with, “I love you forever and a day.” This is no mere Hallmark card sentiment, but a sentiment meant in all earnestness and truth in advertising. I will love Twinklebear, “forever and a day.” Nothing about that will ever change.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



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My twin flame love with Twinklebear fits “ethereal’s” most lovely descriptions.




a: of or relating to regions beyond the earth
b: celestial, heavenly
c: unwordly, spiritual
d: marked by unusual refinement


I’ll be honest with ya. I was planning to hypothesize in this memoir, about how the Fractal-Holographic Universe’s distortion of the space-time continuum to create alternate realities, makes possible timeless, eternal twin flame relationships, in clear scientific terms. You with me so far?

This would make it possible for ageless, twin flames to exist in one or many wormholes and mysterious black holes in alternate existences and simultaneous lifetimes, in eternal bliss and endless propagation. You got that? Are your eyes crossing yet? Is your mind contorted like a pliable pretzel yet?

These theories might dovetail with latent memories, visions and dreams of past lives together, for reincarnated twin flames like Twinklebear and me. But, I am not going to do that. I’m not going to delve into this mind-bending morass of egghead complexities. Why not?

Because I can see your eyes starting to glaze over, and its not from tears of deep appreciation.

Talk of black holes and wormholes, while found endlessly fascinating by those with IQs above 200 (of which I am definitely not a part of), I doubt that people with a genuine interest in genuine twin flame love like Twinklebear and I have—which is largely spiritual—would suffer such a didactic lecture gladly.

“Hello, shoot me now.”

Huh? Fuggeddabowdit!

Instead, I would simply describe my twin flame love with my twin, Twinklebear, as ethereal.

It is spiritual, yet real. It is as palpable as the weight of a whole planet, yet as celestial and heavenly as an angel’s golden feather. It is as light and happy as the most perfect moment you can remember from your entire life, yet can crush any opposition to it, like a full-assault war effort by the forces of love and eternity.

Twinklebear and I, can never be without each other.

I can’t state it any simpler than that. There is nothing ambiguous about the meaning of this.

Twinklebear and I have a twin flame relationship, that is as profound, surreal and mind-blowing, as any Fractal-Holographic Universe can be. Consider this. If both of us can be honest, we can in retrospect recognize that just after we met in Late 2015, there was the subtle Voice of Twin Flame Truth that whispered to our subconscious….


“This is the Voice of Twin Flame Truth.

Because I am speaking to you from a higher spiritual plane, your inner souls, inner hearts and subconscious will recognize the truth of what I am saying.

Your mortal conscious will lag behind in this recognition, simply because it will not make sense in every day terms. You are each other’s twin flame. You may not even know what twin flames are.

From this time on, you will feel inexplicably and totally inseparable from each other.

You will feel this, but won’t be able to explain it to yourselves or others. That knowledge will come in time.

Your sheer need for each other, every day from here on in, will speak as eloquently to your twin flame status, as any well-worded thesis. This need will baffle and delight, excite and at times, frustrate you.

You will feel a commitment to each other, that is impervious to the shifting of the sands of time. A commitment and connection that is celestial, heavenly in nature, that is a bond that is the strongest in the Universe. You are now forever linked.

Your mere mortal conscious will fight this. Yet in time, you will yield to the simple truth that you two will be inseparable until the end of time and beyond. You may sense having these thoughts before, in lands and lifetimes far, far away.

Your love for each other, will be like no other that you have felt before, so intense it will be, except perhaps you have felt this for each other in different lives. You will be together, forever, beyond this lifetime.”


And so we have been inseparable, since late 2015 when the Voice of Twin Flame Truth whispered this simple truth to us. This simple phenomenon of have been inseparable since Day One, was born fully formed and complete, on that Day One.

Amazingly, nothing has changed with respect to this. This need for each other, has neither decreased or increased from that first day on. It is just there like an indestructible monolith, unchanging and comforting in its consistency.

We were irrevocably and totally inseparable on that “Day One,” and for every day since and every day in the future, this will be a constant. We being inseparable is immutable.

Twin flame theorists can quibble about whether the twin flame relationship is a function of time travel within wormholes, challenging the precepts of reincarnation. Scientific minds can wonder about whether black holes contain alternate universes, in which we twin flames live different existences, than the ones we know? I don’t know.

I only know that what Twinklebear and I have is immutable and eternal. In one word it is ethereal. Celestial, heavenly and simply….us.

Allow me to put this in Hallmark card terms that everyone can understand. I am crazy-mad-in-love, head-over-heels-in-love with Twinklebear—and that will never change.



I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



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It is a well documented fact, that twin flames have an innate knowledge of their partners, with no rational way to explain it. This knowledge only partially comes from intelligent thought and analysis.

It just is.

While smart people can discern certain facts by deductive reasoning, the absolute feeling (that may be described as “knowledge” in this case) that a twin flame possesses about his or her partner, is attributable to the strong spiritual connection that twin flames have.

However, there are highly spiritual people who have great premonitory powers, irrespective of whether or not they are one half of a twin flame relationship. My beautiful twin flame love, “Twinklebear” is one of these.

Twinklebear has a long history dating to childhood, of being able to have visions or predictive dreams, of events that are yet to happen. Let me give you an example of her premonitory prowess. This example does illustrate, how indirect or “symbolic” premonitory visions or dreams can be.

There was a woman Twinklebear attended church with, whose teenage daughter Twinklebear had a vision about. In her vision, she saw the woman’s daughter in a white car, waving goodbye. Twinklebear related this vision to the woman. Two weeks later, the girl and three teen boys were killed in a car crash. The car they were killed in, was white.

In our case, Twinklebear has the more than the usual predictive feelings with respect to me, because we are twin flames. Due to our close twin flame connection, she does know things about me before I know them. I believe this is a function of her innate predictive talent, augmented by our twin flame relationship.

I am just home from having a hip replacement surgery. The need for this surgery was precipitated by a fracture I had in the hip, unknown to me. It was unknown to me, until the pain one day a week and half ago, rose to intolerable levels. I thought it might have been a severe groin muscle pull.

The hip fracture was confirmed in the hospital emergency room I was taken to. After x-rays were done, a nurse said to me, “It’s a good thing you came in.”

Now, I have had pain in this hip since the 1990s, when it was known that I had arthritis in it. The pain has been mild until that day a week and half ago, when it escalated to a level 10. How bad was it? I could not walk. This is the reason I needed a hip replacement.

Sometime ago, perhaps a few months ago, Twinklebear thought that the pain I had was more than mere arthritis. She said….

“Sookybear, I feel that the pain you have may be a hairline fracture in your hip.”

I really didn’t think there was much merit to her contention that it might be a fracture, instead of the arthritis. After all, I’ve had pain in this hip for years. Guess what?

She was right!

Once again, she was able to predict events in my life to happen, before they have. There are other examples of her being able to intuit things that have happened to me, like my sudden retirement. Twinklebear is amazing!


I love you Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



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In 1776, whether you were declaring America independent from the crown or swearing your loyalty to King George III, your pronunciation would have been much the same. At that time, American and British accents hadn’t yet diverged. What’s surprising, though, is that Hollywood costume dramas get it all wrong: The Patriots and the Redcoats spoke with accents that were much closer to the contemporary American accent—than to the Queen’s English.

It is the standard British accent that has drastically changed in the past two centuries, while the typical American accent has changed only subtly.

Traditional English, whether spoken in the British Isles or the American colonies, was largely “rhotic.” Rhotic speakers pronounce the “R” sound in such words as “hard” and “winter,” while non-rhotic speakers do not. Today, however, non-rhotic speech is common throughout most of Britain. For example, most modern Brits would tell you it’s been a “hahd wintuh.”

It was around the time of the American Revolution that non-rhotic speech came into use among the upper class in southern England, in and around London. According to John Algeo in “The Cambridge History of the English Language” (Cambridge University Press, 2001), this shift occurred because people of low birth rank who had become wealthy during the Industrial Revolution were seeking ways to distinguish themselves from other commoners; they cultivated the prestigious non-rhotic pronunciation in order to demonstrate their new upper-class status.

“London pronunciation became the prerogative of a new breed of specialists — orthoepists and teachers of elocution. The orthoepists decided upon correct pronunciations, compiled pronouncing dictionaries and, in private and expensive tutoring sessions, drilled enterprising citizens in fashionable articulation,” Algeo wrote.

The lofty manner of speech developed by these specialists gradually became standardized — it is officially called “Received Pronunciation” — and it spread across Britain. However, people in the north of England, Scotland and Ireland have largely maintained their traditional rhotic accents.

Most American accents have also remained rhotic, with some exceptions: New York and Boston accents have become non-rhotic. According to Algeo, after the Revolutionary War, these cities were “under the strongest influence by the British elite.”


I am American and my beloved twin flame “Twinklebear” is English. One of our standard jokes is when I say to her….

“Twinklebear, I have to teach you how to speak proper Queen’s English!”

Ha! It turns out, I was right! Who knew? As you saw from the Live Science excerpt, it has been the British accent that has changed—while the American accent has not. I’m feeling like such a distinguished English Lord! My God! Knight me now! Hey, that’s “Sir Sookybear” to you, suckah!

I guess I should be grateful that we New York colonists arrived in NYC in 1664, before our English cousins in London and Hastings, decided to make wholesale changes to the way English sounds! So funny! Ha! Right now, Twinklebear is winding up her Donking Rolling Pin, to give me a hahd donk to my head!


Speaking seriously though, Twinklebear and I find it endlessly fascinating how different our accents are. This is constant source of kidding and teasing the other, although we each find the other’s accent and idioms exotic and interesting. An example of this, is how we pronounce “news.” She will say to me….

“its funny the fast way you say it, like a New Yawk gangstuh….’Nooz‘…you say it with real attitude.”

And I will point out the charming way that she draws out the syllable….


This interchange is usually followed, by us comically trying to imitate the other’s accent. Our conversations are so interesting and fun! So funny!

One of the most fun things about our exhilirating brand of humor, is the constant ribbing and teasing we do to the other. Generally speaking, we are both huge devotees of the Sarcastic School of Humor! We find it intellectually stimulating, as teasing the other takes real thought. Ha! It is so sharp sometimes, that it borders on the fringes of insult humor. We love it!

Hey Twinklebear—rhotic this—okay? Ha!


Owwww! Hey Twinklebear, put that rolling pin down!


I love you Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



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TWINKLEBEAR: I love my brat!



Parents tend to let things slide once the last child comes along — they aren’t nervous, first-time parents anymore. As a result, lastborns usually do get away with more than their siblings do. They shoulder less responsibility, so they tend to be more carefree, easygoing, fun-loving, affectionate, and sociable, and they like to make people laugh.” Just see if your youngest assumes the role of class clown someday.

But being the youngest isn’t all roses. Because lastborns view their older siblings as bigger, faster, and smarter, they may attempt to differentiate themselves by being more rebellious. “Lastborns have an ‘I’ll show them’ attitude.” And if older siblings baby the baby, lastborns might be spoiled and manipulative. This is why lastborns are considered the proverbial brats.


The fun factor!

Something you never hear about in treatises on twin flames. My twin flame relationship with Twinklebear is particularly joyous. There is a specialness to our love, which is rooted in not only the fact that we are twin flames, but also the fact that we are both the lastborns in our families. The positive effect of the latter should not be underestimated.

What this combination does, is to emphasize the unadulterated childlike joy, that is found only in childhood. As Thomas Wolfe said, you can’t go home again. Usually once experienced, it can never be found again. Unless, both twin flames in a relationship are the lastborns of the family.

As lastborns before we met (or rather, reincarnated and reunited, since we were spouses in past lives), we each had reputations in our respective families, as holy terrors in our childhood years. The family lores in our families, are rife with anecdotes regarding our infamous spoiled brat behavior.

But, as with all childhood behavior, our brattiness subsided as we grew up and pursued responsible, adult lives. As it should be. Then, a seismic event took place, and the world order of Twinklebear’s and my joy quotient was rocked to its core.

Twinklebear and I met.

Our meeting, or more accurately our reunification, took place in late 2015. The result was a reversion to the type of innocent joy that one can only experience as a child.

We immediately recognized this childlike quality in each other, which colors our unique humor, unconditional trust and ability to truly be ourselves with each other. I believe this set us apart from other twin flame couples in a fundamental way, and gave us an advantage in the fun factor department.

The difference maker, perhaps not available to most other twin flames couples, is that we are the lastborns—the “babies” of our families

It is possible that we did not have this “lastborn advantage” in our past lives as husband and wife. In this life, fortunately, we were reincarnated as the lastborns of our families. In practical terms, what does this really mean?

In short, we can be absolute brats with each other!

Ah, so nice to let one’s hair down so to speak, and be oneself, finally! And we can do this with each other in a truthful manner, which we cannot do with others in our orbits.

Twinklebear and I can whinge and whine, and feign anger, simply because we know each other so well, that we do not take offence.

(Just an interesting aside. I am Yank and Twinks is a Brit. I’ve become used to thinking in both “Yankspeak” and “Britspeak” as I write. In the U.S. the word is spelled “offense” and in England it is “offence.” It is interesting that I just spelled offence with a “c” the Brit way without a second thought. This shows how well trained Twinklebear has me. Ha! Yes dear! “RUNNING!”)

We can carry on being mutual brats, and we take it with a grain of salt and find profound humor in it. Twinklebear and I have a unique humor that resonates in a narrow frequencey of each other’s soul and mind. In absolute jocularity but pure honesty, we can say to the other….

“Waaaaaa! I want my (insert “Twinklebear” or “Sookybear” here) ! And I want you now! Waaaaa!”

Ha! So funny! Going from adulthood to bratty in one second flat! We love it! While there is humor in this exaggerated behavior, there is also nugget-hard at its core, a kernel of truth. We truly do want each other, now and no later! Hey, we “babies of the family” have no patience, ya know?

In the twin flame relationship, all the emotions are high intensity to begin with. Add in the spice of both twins being lastborns, and—look out! The fire licks of exaggerated emotions of extreme joy, love, humor and disappointment found with twin flames, are fanned even higher when the twins in questions are the “babies of the family.” Ha! So much fun!

Admittedly back in 2015 when Twinklebear and I are were both “conditioned adults” and unaccustomed to being so true to our inner child selves, we occasionally got angry with each other’s bratty behavior. Yet the behavior was so natural, as we instinctively knew that the other would recognize it as “us”–that we accepted the brattiness as part of our destined process.

Speaking for myself, I didn’t know what to make of Twinklebear’s sudden turns to “brathood” and change of mood. But I also knew that I was doing the same thing, which really freaked me out!

We soon recognized what a pure and unadulterated show of our true and innocent selves, to each other. Now we treasure this behavior, and can laugh at it. It is so great!

I love my brat, my Twinklebear!

Twin Brats Forever, Twin Doodles Forever!


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



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TWINKLEBEAR AND I: We make each other smile on sight.


This memoir wasn’t supposed to be written, because of interruptive events. The entire focus of what this memoir was supposed to be about, was ravaged by unfortunate events. Yet somehow, like a nascent newborn refusing to be unborn, this memoir fought its way to the surface, breathing hard, gasping for air, yet alive! Twinklebear, this memoir is dedicated to the way you make me smile unceasingly, laugh uproariously and reflect profoundly. I love you forever and a day.


Three days ago, just as I started to write this memoir, I received a call from my Twin Flame “Twinklebear.” I answered.

“Sookybear, it’s me. I tripped on some sunken, uneven pavement, and hit my head on the ground. It really hurts! I’m in the hospital waiting for a CAT scan!”

Oh my God! Can you say zero to “state of shock” in 1 second flat?

I was was speechless for a moment. Then I asked what happened.

That day, Twinklebear had gone shopping with Dawn, a friend. They were finishing up their “retail therapy” when the accident happened. The photo of Twinklebear above, was taken minutes before her fall, the “ecstasy before the agony.” She then divulged what had caused her fall.

Twinklebear stepped onto a segment of pavement (“pavement” is the British equivalent of “sidewalk” in the U.S.), that was recessed a couple of inches lower than the tarmac around this sunken pavement. Due to the disparity of heights, a two inch lip of raised tarmac surrounded this pavement. You know where I’m going with this, don’t you?

Her foot caught on the raised tarmac lip, and she took a head dive into the ground!

Twinklebear was so surprised by the suddenness of tripping on this raised pavement, that she wasn’t prepared to break her fall with her arms. As a result, she cracked her forehead on the ground. She was knocked out for a few seconds.

Luckily, the exam and CAT scan didn’t show any broken bones. She did have a black eye, however, and some swelling of her face. Awwww, my poor Baby! My sweet Twinklbear is mending nicely, but did suffer a concussion, so she is experiencing the headaches, dizziness and nausea that routinely follow a concussion.

There is a backstory to this memoir, and that is that just a week prior to Twinklebear’s accident, I was discharged from the hospital myself. In my case, I went to the emergency room for an infection on my leg. I was treated with intravenous antibiotics, kept overnight for observation, and discharged the next day.

Within the span of a couple of weeks, Twinklebear and I underwent what seemed to be a whirlwind of negativity.

So, I suppose that this memoir is really about how supportive we are to the other, when unfortunate events happen. And we do support each other unconditionally.

You might have noticed that the title of this memoir is, “You Make Me Smile.” That was to be the sole focus of this memoir, before I was waylaid by that awful call Twinklebear made three days ago from the hospital. In fact, I wasn’t even planning to write the rest of this memoir beyond the title, until Twinklebear is much better a week from now.

But, I realized that Twinklebear and I have those special, high-intensity empathic abilities with each other, characteristic of Twin Flames—which convinced me that I had to write about how we “make each other smile,” in spite of the dodgy (I love these Britcentric words!) circumstances. Let me explain.

Twin flames can—and this is what “empathic” means—feel and share the other’s pain and other emotions. This makes being someone’s “twin” a high intensity experience, because one feels the actual emotions of the other twin. That is heavy duty, man! It is like fitting ten pounds of emotion, into a five pound bag.

When people are twin flames, the twins feel in a truly heartfelt way, a way that cannot be faked, empathy and sympathy for the other. After my ordeal with being in the hospital and after Twinklebear’s being in the hospital, we felt snd shared each other’s bad experience super personally. This is what twin flames do.

When Twinklebear and I share our feelings like this, our communication represents healing on a soul and cellular level. The experience of feeling this internal healing when Twinklebear and I interact face to face, is supremely intimate and primal. Our souls are a salve to the other.

When we support each other in this manner, our talks are a method of normalizing the other. In twin flame parlance, this means that whatever bad emotions are felt by one, the intercession of the other twin by presence alone, makes these negative emotions dissipate. The conversations between twin flames, are cathartic and therapuetic In short…..

We make each other smile on sight.

Sometimes we talk for five hours straight. During that time, I might possibly smile and laugh more, than the previous 40 years of my life. That is no exaggeration. When I see my Twinklebear, I smile, and keep smiling. It is like a “twin flame reflex,” a function of my “twin flame autonomic response.” That is the best way I can put it. Smiling and laughing when I am with Twinklebear, is as automatic as breathing. It requires no thought, or motivation. It just is.

So, my leg is healing. Twinklebear’s face is healing. Yet, we can’t help but smile and laugh with each other, unceasingly and maddeningly consistently, and it has been this way since Day One in late 2015.


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way




EVER AMAZING: How Twinklbear and I instantly “ignited.



There was a time I thought I knew
True love and its ramifications
I subscribed and stayed true
Followed the rules and regulations


Like most folks who think they know
Took it for granted, put the idea to bed
Going about my business, giving it cred
I discovered later, I knew it in my head


Instead of completely feeling it in my heart
I discerned the difference by fateful fiat
When I met her and found I already knew her
Was blindsided by instant love-lock


It was my heart that was the closed lock
She had the key to reveal wide open
Filling the chambers and leaving me in shock
Leaving me desperate and fingers groping


Desperation penetrated us both
To a wanting we did not understand
All we sensed or seemed to know
We had to have each other’s hand


The act of groping, fighting to be as one
Was brick solid in spite of confusion
The forces driving us very poorly known
The only certainty was needed love collusion


Like a lovely arrow shot through my heart
She said, “The only man I ever really loved”
Plucked at my heart strings vulnerable to her
It reminded me of what I know of my beloved


Yes “minor details” get in the way
That do nothing to alter the truth
That she is the only one I ever truly loved
In the complete way, that we do


Previous “love” for us pales by comparison
Black and white copies of our real thing
The full color saturation of our love’s illumination
In living color, with no fading of the shining


After I wrote this poem, my Twin Flame “Twinklebear” said to me….

“It was as if when we first met, my Sookybear, we instantly ignited.

How true. We still find it astonishing, how there wasn’t a normal “getting to know you” period after we met. As I said in the poem, “…I met and found that I already knew her.”

It was as if we were a fully-formed romantic couple immediately, with subliminally known traditions, inside jokes and ease of compatibility. It was a case of “Been here, done this.” It was as if we were subconsciously saying….

“My God! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you! I’ve missed you so much! I love you!”

Twinklebear and I then fell into our “old” (for it seemed that we’d done this before, forever) routine of being together every day since that first day two and a half years ago. It was as if one of us had gone for a few days’ holiday, and we were getting back to our everyday life without missing a beat. Truly amazing in retrospect!

Twinklebear has been the more spiritually aware of us (see previous installments discussing her paranormal gifts), and she was way ahead of me with respect to “recognizing” me and what we were and are.

This is all very clear to us now, but back then without any conscious analysis of what this unusual behavior meant, it just seemed preternaturally right for us to be this way.

This is not say that we considered our instantly absolute familiarity with each other, “normal.” Far from it. We were frankly, stupefied by the whole thing. We didn’t question the “rightness” of it, but we did think we were possibly insane.

I’ll tell ya one thing. The inexplicably intense feelings of love and need we experienced was driving us insane, until we came to a better understanding of what it all meant.

Was it possible for two individuals from different parts of the world (She is English and I am an American) who have never met, to suffer the same demented delusion that we were once and forever husband and wife, and act like it from “day one?” It is so amazing to think of this in a clearheaded way, two and half years later!

This objectivity was impossible for us when we first met. Back then, there was only “The Urgency.” The Urgency was the high intensity feeling of….

“I know you are mine but don’t know how to say it this early, but I have to have you. You are mine!”

I am not exaggerating when I state this. For my part, I had the most primal urges immediately about Twinklebear upon meeting her. I was ready to physically beat down other males for her hand, and would do anything to win her. Because I “knew” that she was mine.

At the time, I didn’t question how I knew this, I just knew. It was insane! But it was what it was, and I was powerless to fight the insistent tide of time, fate, and the history that Twinklebear and I shared before.

Oh my God, what an emotionally turbulent time that was then. I felt like my world was on fire! There was no time to relax, no room for complacency. I could not afford to say “So what” if things didn’t go well for us. I only knew that I had to right things, to make her mine again—like I knew she was before. Nothing less would do.

I know for a fact that Twinklebear also felt this strange but wonderful conundrum. What did it all mean, this intense struggle to recreate then, what we had “before?” What the hell did “before” mean, for we’d just met? We somehow knew, that there was a “before” but did not know what that meant. It was weird, but felt wonderful and somehow “right.”

It made no sense then, but we weren’t running on common sense and rationality. We were running on an insane diet of 1000 horsepower-inducing nitromethane fuel, and we were moving at light speed to being irrevocably, crazy-in-love in three seconds flat!

Who wants to be comfortable anyway, when you can have a love so rich, so full, so rewarding—that the rest of life seems drab by comparison? Not me.

Twinklebear is the only woman I ever really loved.

Twinklebear and I were reborn in late 2015. Reborn in the sense, that we were reunited after being reincarnated after who knows how many centuries passed since we were husband and wife in a previous life. Latent memories, visions and recurrent dreams (sorry, you’ll have to read previous memoir installments about these) suggest that our last previous life together, took place in the 13th century A.D., probably in Mongolia.

Is it any wonder that we were reborn with a full set of latent memories, visions and recurrent dreams of that past life? That explains our instant familiarity with each other right away. As Twinklebear said, “We instantly ignited.”

That instant ignition of a love known and remembered from centuries ago, burns hot and bright once again.

It is so wonderful to relive those early days of late 2015 and early 2016, for it highlights the magnitude and magic of what happened. The way I love, and am “in love” in the most magical, “Hollywood way” with my Twinklebear, is a theme worth revisiting, time and time again. Because the perpetual crazy-in-love feeling I have for her, is a once in an eternity event.


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way