“TWIN FLAME INNER STRENGTH—THE AGONY & ECSTASY”

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“I’m surprised that Twinklebear and I are still together.”

It would be easy to say that, if we were in the “real world.” But we’re not. We’re in the Twin Flame World, a sphere of living that is superreal—that which is above and beyond what is real.

“Considering the pain we go though, I’m sorry we ever met.”

That would be easy to say in the “real world” too. But remember that Twinklebear (my Twin Flame love) and I live in our superreal world, a plane of existence, thinking and feeling that transcends ordinary disappointment, sorrow and frustration. Simplistically, it is an Eternal World that skirts temporary setbacks and disappointment.

Don’t get me wrong. From what I’ve said so far, you might assume that all Twinklebear and I do is to suffer pain and sorrow from our Twin Flame Journey. This is not true. For our love and Twin Flame Journey, yields both agony and ecstasy every single day.

The ecstasy is like a honey that we need to consume every single day, no matter what. It sustains us.

“Lord, give us this day, our daily honey. Thank you Lord. I love you Lord, amen.”

That is the dichotomy of the Twin Flame Journey. It punishes with the lows, then rewards with the highs of intense incomparable love, passion and compatibility—that only Twin Flames can enjoy with each other—and nobody else. It is an exclusivity, that is both addictive and unsurpassable in its experience. Twinklebear is my Great Love, of the present, past and future.

I can’t live without it!

I have this love, passion, laughter and empathy—and just plain unsurpassable compatibility— with my Twinklebear! That applies to today, tomorrow and every day of the future, just as I have for the past three years. Now you know why the “agony” of the Twin Flame Journey is easy to endure. The reward is so much greater than the sacrifice.

I would like to focus on the pain of the Twin Flame Journey, to make a point about the strength that my Twin Flame and I have, and how this Twin Flame inner strength renders the statements of, “I’m surprised that Twinklebear and I are still together” and “Considering the pain we go through, I’m sorry we ever met”—irrelevant, moot and absolutely the opposite of how we feel.

Our Twin Flame Journey is like a challenging obstacle course made up of people, places, events, past and present history, which has to be navigated daily. Yet, we wouldn’t have it any other way, because our love and bond transcends secular obstacles, time and space.

To have it any other way, would mean that we would be separated!

And that, would be intolerable. Consider all of the obstacles in this obstacle course known as Twinklebear’s and my Twin Flame Journey. I won’t divulge all of our obstacles in detail, because I have to protect our privacy, but here goes in very generalize terms.

Different countries. Different cultures, although similar. But the biggest stumbling block—personal circumstances.

It may not sound like much, but believe me, it is. Every day with Twinklebear—and it is every day despite the difficulties—we persevere. Every single day without fail, even when we each were hospitalized for serious medical issues, we persevered and stayed true to each other, vowing forever love.

It has been a glorious three years. It has been so rewarding every single day in spite of the difficulties. Think of it. Three years of constant adversity, crowned with such majesty of love, passion, laughter, love and exceptional camaraderie peculiar to Twin Flame Couples—that obstacles seem routine.

“Yawn.”

We are so strong as a unit! For that is what we are, a “unit” that began as single soul split into two, at the beginning of time. The synonym of “uni” in “unit,” plays a significant role in “reunification.” For that is what Twinklebear and I seek. Reuninification as a couple, in spite of all the obstacles.

Twinklebear and I defy the “real world.” We live and thrive in the superreal world of Twin Flames. That is how we know with an ironclad certainty, that we will always be “One.” We know with such certainty, that we will be together, forever and a day. We know that tomorrow, and every day after that here on Earth—and beyond—will be like all of the days of the past three years.

Bear Pact Forever, my love!

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way.

“MEMOIR: BEHIND THE LOCKED DOOR”

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Analogies are useful, especially in matters of the mind and spirit. And so it is when discussing the Twin Flame Journey. In examining the Twin Flame Journey, it is important to realize that each Twin is like a carefully constructed and guarded locked room. This inner sanctum of a room took a lifetime of incrementally adding security measures, in order to protect the delicate soul inside. Since infancy, better padlocks, stronger doors and windows upgraded the “house’s” viability as an psychological defensive infrastructure that can protect the soul from the motive vagaries and evils of the world.

As life goes on and the years pass, the soul inside the room becomes adept at judging subconsciously, who to let into the room, and how far to allow these people into the room, depending on how threatening the candidates for entry are. Souls Inside The Rooms develop a “soul radar” with which to instantly gauge how far to allow people in. This is based on instincts honed over many years.

I’m here to tell ya that the only person who I have let totally into my “room,” is my Twin Flame Twinklebear! She’s the only one who I can be “myself” with.

I can’t say that I was totally unaware of this with other people before Twinklebear, because I was cognizant of “holding back” with others, but did not realize the significance of the holding back (which is analogous to a partially blocked door to “the room”). I did not know how significant partially blocking other’s entry into my inner sanctum was, until I experienced letting Twinklebear all the way in, without impediment or conditions. My Twin Flame is always welcome unconditionally in my room.

If I had to quantify my “letting in” of people into my “room,” the next closest to Twinklebear’s 100% entry into my room, is perhaps 50%. Yes, it is that limited with others besides Twinklebear.

Based on my experience, I believe that the only soul who is allowed into one’s safe inner sanctum of a room, is one’s Twin Flame. Only one’s Twin is so committed to their spiritual counterpart, that they can weather any stormy disagreement and know that all will be reconciled. I should amend that to say that only mature Twins know this. “Runners” and other varieties of underdeveloped awakened Twins, may not be up to the task. Why else would they be called “runners?”

Occasionally, a female Twin will enter her male Twin’s inner sanctum, to find a hard core Alpha Male. I must admit that this occasionally causes some spirited discussion between Twinklebear and I, maybe once or twice a year, if that?. These storms in our early days were much more difficult to endure than now. This is because we understand each other much better now, healed by the tincture of time. In our early days, we laughingly referred to ourselves as “the irresistible force meets the immovable object.” Ha! So funny. I love my brat so much! “DONK”

The big difference between our early days and now if such issues arise, is that we know that we will kiss and make up in very short order. That daunting uncertainty that accompanied these “storms” in our early days of our Twin Flame Journey, no longer exists. Now it’s a matter of when we make up, not if. Now it usually takes a couple of hours, at most. That is because we let each other freely and totally, into our respective “rooms.”


Twinklebear’s dreaded “Donking Rolling Pin”

The other big reason that our storms are now infrequent, mild and short, is that Twinklebear is wickedly skilled in wielding her “Donking Rolling Pin” on my head! “RUNNING”

“Owwww! Hey! watch it with that thing Twinklebear, you bad girl! Awwww…I love you….please put it down…..heeeelllp…she’s catching up….”

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

“MEMOIR: SHOOTING STAR”

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Twinklebear was like a loving shooting star aimed at my heart.

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TWINKLEBEAR YESTERDAY

“My Sookybear, we are totally like one soul in two bodies. Each feeling the highs and lows of the other, and even ailments on occasion. Or as we say ‘ACC occasions.’ There is such a huge tie we have and it is invisible. Also so strong, nothing can penetrate it. I feel safe in saying now we are comfy, completely relaxed. The early days were tough, but it was all part of the ‘Twin flames journey.’ It does feel and is “directly Heaven sent”—ethereal and eternal. You’re ‘My Sookybear,’ no one else’s! We do totally ‘click’ and get one another, more so than anyone else EVER! The understanding on both our parts, is amazingly strong. We totally love, care for and support one another. In every sense. Perfect as we are…. doesn’t mean WE look or are saying “Oh look at me!” Just we are a ‘perfect match’. I love you my Sookybear always and a day! Podmates, Twin flames 🐻 pact forever! ❤”

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She shot into my life from the Heavens, hot, fast and irresistible! No wonder she acquired the nickname of “Twinkle” as a child. Twinkle, Twinkle little star, how I wonder at how wonderful you are. My hot shooting star, shooting into my life with so much vivaciousness and capacity for love—my Twin Flame baby.

When Twinklebear entered my life, her trajectory as a love missile aimed straight toward my heart, and she penetrated quickly and deeply, as only one’s Twin Flame can. A Twin Flame or “Twin Soul” is the other half of a single soul split into into loving halves by God at the beginning of times. Biblical references mention 144,000 such people in the world, comprising 72,000 Twin Flame couples.

When my Twinklebear shooting star hit my heart, she ignited a burst of love, want and need so voluminous that I could not fight it. It was so irresistible, that it must be rooted in deep mutual feeling of millennia before. The conflagration in my heart and soul has dominated my existence ever since, like a house afire with not a hope of slowing down or cooling off.

In other words, was I in trouble! Ha!

It is said that once Twin Flames reincarnate and meet again in the same lifetime, that there is an instant “recognition” of each other, and it certainly was true for Twinklebear and I. As would be expected upon first meeting in the same lifetime, this recognition is real and jarring, but may register as a more subtle feeling of….”I know you, I don’t know why, but I know you somehow.”

So it was with us. I instantly recognized in her a familiarity of speech, thought and humor that somehow miraculously wrapped around my patterns of speech, thought and humor so neatly and completely. It seemed like every joke we made with each other, was like we had done it thousands of times before we met, in another time and with great love and tenderness.

“I know that smile,” I said to myself. “I know that laugh,” I told myself silently as I spoke to Twinklebear. And the sexual energy between us! My God! It was like we were joined together carnally thousands of times before, even though we’d just met—and the most natural thing in the world was for us to be drawn to do so immediately, post haste!

These are either signs of being Twin Flames, or clinical insanity!

Of course, there is a double meaning there, for I am so crazy-in-love with my Twinklebear, and have been since the moment we met in 2015. My sweet Twinklebear, my shooting star of love, my Universe—I love you (not just proverbially “forever”) forever and a day! 12, 12, 12 baby!

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way!

“MEMOIR: DIRECT CONNECTION”

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WHAT TWINKLEBEAR AND I HAVE: A direct and complete connection.

Many think they have it. Many would be wrong! People who have not experienced the real thing, believe they share it with a significant other. It is all relative, what people believe they have with another, and what in reality they do or do not have. It all depends on whether they have known the real thing. Meanwhile, the “awakened,” those who are Twin Flames also known as Twin Souls, finally realize that what they have found with their “designated twins” far exceeds what they had experienced in their lives thus far with other people. These awakened twins, before they reunited with their Twin Flames—may have formerly believed that they had a total and direct connection with other lovers. But these awakened Souls, of which Twinklebear my Twin and I are examples of—know from our awakened acquired knowledge, that what we had before with others was incomplete by comparison.

First of all, who “designated” Twinklebear and I as each other’s Twin Flame, along with the other 72,000 couples who comprise all of the Twin Flame couples in the world? The easy answer is God. For this answer makes logical sense in the Twin Flame narrative. That narrative postulates that at the beginning of time, 72,000 single souls were split into two, essentially creating 144,000 individual souls, fated to be in search of their separated mates. In other words, 72,000 souls in this world were split from their “spiritual twins” by some higher force following some higher plane design.

Thus split, these 144,000 twins were destined throughout time, to try to reincarnate into the same lifetimes together. Each twin’s counterpart, was that twin’s “perfect mate.” How could they be otherwise, having been born into, and split from the same soul at the beginning of time? It is Twin Souls’ destiny and mission, to find the direct and complete connection with their spiritual counterparts meant for them by God. Each twin could have no such complete and direct soul connection, with others aside from their respective twins. In my case, my twin is Twinklebear.

As I’ve said, perception is all relative. Before I became more enlightened after I met Twinklebear over three years ago, I believed that the relationships I had with others were completely connected, without impediment. Then I discovered a whole other world with Twinklebear, with whom my connection is total and immediate.

By comparison, my connection with others seems now like trying to converse through a thick bamboo screen, the screen letting only 50% of my emotions get through with others, and a serious disabling of seeing one another in an accurate way. This filtering process with others besides my Twinklebear, seemed to depend on emotional and psychological habits buried deep in the personal histories of myself and the others.

There was simply too much baggage to sort through, for communication to come through unscathed with people other than Twinklebear. With Twinklebear, the messages and ideas come through unaltered and pure. Old mental and emotional habits that have been baked in from a lifetime of using them for functioning, fell by the wayside with Twinklebear, because with our total honesty of communication, no such mechanisms were needed. It all seems so simple, yet is so complicated to try to explain to the uninitiated.

In short, my connection with others was imperfect, compared to the perfect compatibility between Twinklebear and I. We were and are simply one single spiritual organism, functioning as two loving human souls, who need each other beyond normal limits.

I sensed this immediately when I met Twinklebear over three years ago. Our “connection” was immediate, explosive and total. You can imagine my shock at discovering how joyful and volatile my connection with her was. After all, she was for all intents and purposes, a perfect stranger in “real life” terms. The key word in “perfect strangers” is “perfect,” because it became obvious to both of us that our compatibility was perfect in every way. So perfect, that we questioned our sanity in indulging in this secret pleasure.

The pleasure of being with The One who was made for us.

What went unsaid yet felt deeply by both of us from the start, was that we felt destined to be together forever. It is easy to understand why this could or would not be voiced by either us in the early days—because it made no sense. How could we feel like this, after we’d just met? It was insanity! Yet, “insanity” might apply as an accurate term for Twin Flame love and need. It is that intense and durable, and that much more beyond natural human experience.

And here we are. Bound together like two strands of thread ensconced in an unbreakable cable of Kevlar rope, impervious to change from the outside. Twinklebear is my Forever Love, to never be separated from me. God has made it so the alternative is too horrible, too life-depriving, too gut-wrenching for contemplation.

Believe me, we explored those terrible options of separation in our early days of denial—and it was analogous to cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face. Even contemplating those options caused us to go insane, for real! That is how solidly we were and are connected. Our connection is direct and complete, as dictated by God. It’s as simple as that.

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I love you, Twinklebear
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way!

“MEMOIR: LAUGHING OUT LOUD”

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She sits there as classically beautiful as a Grecian statue of Aphrodite, with that mesmerizing profile. Then something we are talking about strikes her funny. You can hear the rumbling laughter starting in her abdomen, eventually earthquaking it’s way up to her face. And then the laughter erupts from her lovely mouth. Her head rears back, she she lets loose!

Gales of laughter!

“Hilarious!” she says in that sexy clipped British accent. And then I get caught up it it. Belly laughter on my part too, and we both can’t stop laughing! I’ve laughed more in the past three years, than I have all of my life before that! To appreciate how fantastical this is for me, you have understand how very reserved I am with others.

Twinklebear, my lovely Twin Flame, is so goddamn beautiful and wonderful when she is laughing. She becomes this ebullient fountain of pure joy as her laughter rocks the environment around her! She owns the territory surrounding her, her exhilarating laughter rendering all she sees as hers.

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FROM A PSYCHOLOGY WEBSITE

Sure, it’s fun to share a good laugh. But did you know it can actually improve your health? It’s true: laughter is strong medicine. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. As children, we used to laugh hundreds of times a day, but as adults, life tends to be more serious and laughter more infrequent. But by seeking out more opportunities for humor and laughter, you can improve your emotional health, strengthen your relationships, find greater happiness—and even add years to your life.

Why is laughter the sweetest medicine for the mind and body? Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hope….and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems….and supporting both physical and emotional health.


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What Twinklebear and I have done in fatefully re-finding each other over three years ago, was to effectively maximize our opportunities for laughter. One of the ways we are on the same soul frequency, is our matching senses of humor.

Twin Flame dogma holds that Twin Flames are twin souls split apart from a single soul by God at the beginning of time. God did this, so that each of the 72,000 Twin Flames (or Twin Souls) would have a perfect match.

Over many reincarnations, not many Twin Souls have the good fortune of re-finding their partners. The daunting factors of differing lifetimes of reincarnation, distant geographic homes, linguistic differences and age disparities seem insurmountable. But Twinklebear and I somehow made it to this lifetime together.

And as perfectly matched Twin Flames, Twinklebear and I share the same wicked, sense of sarcastic humor, with which we tease the hell out of each other, and laugh uproariously together. We also have our intimate little routines of humor, role play that is no doubt based on predetermined patterns lived over past lifetimes together.

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

“MEMOIR: WE ARE WORTHY”

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FROM A SPIRITUAL WEBSITE

The twin flame relationship is not a regular soulmate relationship. It is the type of relationship that is sheer bliss in one moment then devastating in the next. However, if you’re in a twin flame relationship, chances are that you already know it is not an easy ride.

What starts off as a union of two souls, becomes turmoil and inner purging. Our twin flame forces us to change our old or outdated ways of thinking and acting. They shine a light over our lives and expose our insecurities, fears, doubts and everything else that has a use-by date. They don’t do this because they want to see us in pain, they do it because they believe in us and want us to become the best version of ourselves. When our core wounds emerge, the time for cleansing and healing becomes imminent. For some, the journey is long.

Twin flames choose to incarnate together. They share a core of identical energetic frequency. When you meet your twin flame, the feeling is more than just butterflies in your stomach. The pull of the connection is so intense that many twin flames report feeling physically sick or dizzy after the meeting.


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Let me be clear!

My Twin Flame journey with my Twin Soul “Twinklebear,” is a pure lovefest. I have never known a love as deep, wide and full as my love for Twinklebear. The depth and intensity of my love for her, has dwarfed any love I’ve ever had for any other woman.

That being said, the journey has been a big test for us—but we are worthy.

From day one, it seems that we were tested in a hundred different ways by emotional storms large and small. Thank God, that those earliest, most virulent storms were weathered, and put behind us by a greater understanding of who we are to each other, and of our profound love and need for the other.

The types of smaller storms that remain, manifest themselves as a persistent “tugging,” rather than the Godzillian ripping and renting forces that threatened to pull us apart limb from limb in our “early days.”

Because our Twin Flame situation is not perfect due to geographic and circumstantial factors, these “tugging storms” test our patience with the process, playing on our natural insecurities and fears. Because Twinklebear and I love each other so much, and because our circumstances are not yet ideal, our impatience brings on occasional (usually ale or Prosecco-lubricated) thoughts such as these….

“It feels like you are distancing from me….”

“I’m so afraid we’ve run our course….”

“What’s the point…we are not yet like we want to be…Waaaaa!….”

Neither Twinklebear or I are immune to these innately human emotions,
these ventings of our feelings of insecurity. We call these episodes of “being bratty.” What do brats do but cry…”Waaaaaa!” when they are really saying…”Please love me!” It is a true cry for help and love. Awww. I love my brat. Ha!

Considering the fact that we are all too human, Twinklebear and I are lucky that our Twin Flame love and relationship, is based so greatly on the spiritual realm, which is impervious to the effects of time and distance.

Twinklebear and I remind ourselves of the strong spiritual nature of our Twin Flame love and journey, and this acts as a comforting salve on our insecurities and impatience. And yet, it is one very big Earth-bound, reality based fact, that ensures our solidity and longevity as Twin Flames….

We cannot ever be without the other. We cannot live without the other.

Believe me, we have known this from day one. We might have even cursed this fact in our early days of emotional turmoil, when our worlds were turned upside down, sideways and inside out. Twinklebear—YOU—Bad Girl! I love you so much! Ha!

So you see, Twinklebear and I have been tested, and continue to be tested by The Universe, but we are impervious to the cleaving forces trying to force our hands, simply because we love and need each other so very much, too much!

We are worthy!

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way!

“MEMOIR: MY WISE TWIN FLAME”

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Twinklebear says that one’s “inner core” is like the center of an onion.

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FROM A SPIRITUAL WEBSITE

I heard a professional football athlete and trainer once say, “Your health goes from your conditioning on up”. It seems that today’s fitness emphasis is on strengthening your “core”. It has been said that all of our movements are powered by the torso or core – this includes the abs and back working together as they support the spine. The torso is considered the body’s center of power. The stronger your core, the stronger the rest of you.

The same thing applies to your inner core. Every person is where they are based on the condition of their being. If your inner core is healthy, the rest of you is healthy. If your inner core is unhealthy, the same follows.

One of Henry Nouwen’s favorite paintings was of a wheel because he said it reminded him of living your life from the center. When we live our life from the “rim” of the wheel, we focus on externals – what you can see with your eye or hear with your ear. Externals will never make you strong in your inner core.



TWINKLEBEAR EXPLAINING YESTERDAY

“Here’s what I want you to understand, my Sookybear. What you are doing now after your surgeries is like what I went through after my surgery, and it takes time and patience. You are, and I still am, working on strengthening our “inner cores,” and this is different than strengthening let’s say, your biceps.

Think of your inner core as an onion. You peel away the hard outer layers, and after you get to the center, you notice that the center or “inner core” has gone soft. This inner core is what you and I are working on to get back to normal. I do it with dance and fitness exercises, and you do it with walking and martial arts.”


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How can somebody so gorgeous be so smart and wise?

Oh my God, my Twin Flame “Twinklebear” is so beautiful and sexy, and oh so smart! You saw what she imparted to me about strengthening our inner cores—and she’s right! I gave what she said a great deal of thought, and took it to heart. Her advice was so significant, that it took profound contemplation to make sense of it.

Twinklebear’s analogy of our inner cores being like the center of an onion is so clever. As she later told me, the analogy of a person’s inner core being like the core of an onion, came to her when she peeled an onion for cooking. Twinklebear’s intelligence and concept quotient is so high, that she can spontaneously have deep insights like this. She is a “clever clogs,” as they say in England. Ha!

Another valid analogy is that one’s inner core is like Earth’s inner core. Both hold the vitality of life, the former a person’s life and the latter the planet’s life.



The Earth’s inner core, is the very center of our planet’s life. This inner core shows its vitality, by its extreme temperature which is roughly 9,800 degrees Fahrenheit, which is as hot as the sun. The Earth’s inner core’s hot temperature is analogous to our inner core’s “hardness” or toughness. Perhaps you can imagine what would happen if the Earth’s inner core precipitously cooled off.

Scientists say that if the Earth’s inner core completely cooled (which won’t happen for several billion years), that it would become like Mars with a very thin atmosphere making it difficult for life to survive.

My sexy Twinklebear, is so wise as to be able to see what the epicenter of life consists of, especially during a rehab after surgery. I love my Twinklebear, so much, too much! Ha! So wise and smart. She’s a “smartarse” too.

Speaking of being wise, she is a real wisearse sometimes, another sign of her vital intelligence. It takes smarts to have a keen sense of humor. I love
our joyous and sarcastic humor! Ha! So funny!

Twinklebear, first of all……and let me tell you another thing…

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I love you Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way