“FOUR YEAR RETROSPECTIVE”

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FOUR YEARS AGO: Twinklebear was out with her cousin Eddy.

JULY 2015
Four years ago, Twinklebear was at a pub called the Hollington Oak with her cousin Catherine, who answers to the nickname of “Eddy,” sharing a sneaky little pitcher of Disaronno Breeze with her. Disaronno Breeze is a potent fruity red drink, deceptively disguised by its benign looking mix of Disaronno, vodka, cranberry juice and red currant berries. Before they knew it, they were in a happy mood, so glad to be in each other’s company.

Twinklebear and Eddy have been close ever since birth, more like loving sisters really than cousins. Twinklebear and Eddy are very much on the same frequency, their moods and thoughts aligned by history and genetics, their time together marked by gales of laughter. Because Eddy and my Twin Soul Twinklebear are so close, I also feel close to Eddy. In fact, I sometimes affectionately call her “Cuz.”

Their mood at the Hollington Oak, Disaronno Breeze-lubricated and definitely merry, turned to some wistful, serious talk. My Twin Soul Twinklebear is quite psychic with the ability to envision future events to come, albeit in parable fashion sometimes. There have been many instances of her predicting future events that came true, without any explanation of how she came to know these things. Eddy, familiar with Twinklebear’s strong streak in the predictive spiritual realm, always takes what Twinklebear says with the utmost seriousness. Twinklebear said to Eddy, “I feel like something wonderful is going to happen soon, at least it feels good! Something profound….”

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JULY 2019

It has been four years since Twinklebear and Eddy spent that mellow day at the Hollington Oak, sharing that sneaky pitcher of Disaronno Breeze, hazily musing about the future. I look back at the four years between that day and now, still surprised at all of the wonders that fell my way, thanks to the mesmerizing, loving tsunami named Twinklebear. I will tell you this: unlike Twinklebear, I could not have foreseen our coming together.

After four years with my Twin Flame Twinklebear, I’ve had my share of latent memories of us in past lives–perhaps Twinklebear’s special spiritual powers have rubbed off on me. I’ve been exposed to the inexplicable coincidences between her life and mine, that offer no explanation except the obvious to us now—that we have had past lives together as husband and wife. As husband and wife, Twin Souls reincarnated into this time, we have a track record that encourages retrocognitive visions and dreams. But in July of 2015, I had no idea of how soon and suddenly, I would be drawn into our Twin Flame Vortex, with dizzying intensity at hypersonic speed.


My office in New York in 2015.

In July of 2015, I was the practice manager of an ophthalmology practice in New York City. It was a practice I’d worked in for 27 years, until I left there last year. The last thing on my mind, was of my “Twin Flame.” In fact at that time, I had no idea what a Twin Flame was. I might have described it as a two-burner stove (“hob” in England), if quizzed on the meaning. Furthermore, even if I knew what Twin Flames were, I would have scoffed at the idea, as just so much new age fantasy. I was not a religious person, although I have been known to pray to God in times of distress. I considered myself an agnostic.

US ARMY CHAPLAIN WILLIAM THOMAS CUMMINGS, 1942:
“There are no atheists in foxholes.”

As an agnostic, I was skeptical about the concept of soulmates, let alone the exclusivity that Twin Souls are known for. For Sookybear The Skeptic, “soulmates” represented throwaway lines in Hallmark Cards on Valentine’s Day—a sentimental if silly notion entertained by the gullible. I thought of the concept of soulmates as an opportunity for a neat profit for a corporate entity, once a year. Man, was I in for a surprise!


MY 2015 SURPRISE: Twinklebear not long before we found each other.

Twinklebear and I were introduced to each other, when I recruited her for an internet Alaskan Malamute group I’d formed. I recall the first time I saw photos of her. I was struck by her universal good looks. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I knew she lived in England (I live in New York), I might have characterized her as the “All American Girl.” Flowing blonde hair framing her beautiful face, radiant smile and aqua blue eyes that shone like blue gems—I found her beauty mesmerizing. If there is a thing called “Love at first sight,” I believe that I was a happy victim of this phenomenon. Was I smitten!

My falling head over heels in love with Twinklebear—seemingly immediately without preamble–was further heightened and deepened by my heart’s having been overwhelmed by her bubbly personality, as showcased by her ebullient way of talking. Her comments were full of life, energy and laughter, punctuated by a wicked sense of sarcasm and wit that matched my own, to a “t.”

Oh, yes! Was I in trouble!

Deep trouble as it seems, the kind of deep trouble that symbolizes being crazy-in-love, that one cannot ever extricate oneself from. Ha! Who would want to? It was the type of love that one only reads about in romance novels, and sees in romantic Hollywood films. A love that is unbelievably seductive, all-encompassing and hypnotic. It is the form of love that drives one to Heaven’s Door, or to the brink of insanity if one were ever deprived of it. The good news is, it has remained the same since four years ago, not wavering in its intensity and durability. My heart strings vibrate daily, to the rhythms of Twinklbear’s heart. My emotions follow the trajectory of hers.

Was I ready for this virtual tsunami of love? Is a low lying area of land like New Orleans ever ready for a category 5 hurricane that blows winds of 150 miles per hour, and dumps 40 inches of rain onto it? I think not. Even if I had been psychologically prepared for Hurricane Twin Flame Twinklebear, there is no way I could have anticipated or been ready for the full force of love that descended on me like an avalanche. Nope! I was definitely and happily snowed under, and now four later later—I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The first hint we had that there was something more profound about us, was that our conversation seemed more and more private, even when uttered in the presence of a group of other people. Twinklebear and I seemed to hone in on each other, directed by an undetectable radar and an unerring GPS that was somehow ancient, set to the “Sookybear-Twinklebear Coordinates.” This GPS, this mutual instinct, felt old, old and familiar. Then certain phrases surfaced between us, that also seemed old, familiar and comfortable to use, as if we used to be other people who said them to each other in another life—but recognized and acknowledged by the “current us.”

Out of the blue, Twinklebear and I began addressing each other as if we were married. “Yes, dear!” “And let me tell you another thing!” To the outside ear, these don’t seem significant, but to Twinklebear and I they harken back to an ancient time when we used these very same phrases in a relationship of love and trust. The terminology just seemed to fit the way we felt, which says everything regarding their significance.

And there were familiar old rituals of flirtation such as Twinklebear saying to me in a sultry voice, “Am I now?” This particular phrase may not seem like much to the casual observer, but believe me, the sheer sauciness with which Twinklebear says this to me, is enough to raise my temperature to a Defcon One Level of Love! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Ha!

In retrospect four years sounds like a long time, but it’s but a drop in the bucket compared to the hundreds of years my and Twinklebear’s souls have been in love with each other. This concept may be difficult for mortals like us to wrap our heads around, but we do realize that it does form the very basis for why we feel the way we do. It’s Twin Flame Love, baby!

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way!

2 thoughts on ““FOUR YEAR RETROSPECTIVE”

  1. Aww thank you my Sookybear, such a wonderful memoir. Full of joy, and happiness. Just how you make me feel every day, since I have known you. Twinflames 🐻 pact forever and a day, Podmates always my Sookybear. 121212 A tsunami hey ? Ha! Donk! * I’ll give you Tsunami* “And let me tell you another thing!” ….. Ha! ” Bad boy!” .. XX ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awwwww my precious Twinklebear! I feel the same way. You have been my sunshine every day ever since 4 years ago. The sun would not shine without you, you make me happy every single day my love, you sexy tsunami! Ha! I am just a “fun toy.” hey? YOU! I love you forever and a day, and have since nit just 4 years ago, but HUNDREDS of years ago, my eternal Baby. Bad girl! 12 12 12

    Like

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