What is life about?
The obvious but glib answer to this most sweeping question asked by humans of themselves is, “It is what it is.” Yet, when all is said and done, if we take regret and wishful thinking (what I call the “woulda, coulda, shoulda factor”) out of it, it may be the most accurate response. It is what it is, no more and no less. If we take a pragmatic view of the question, and boil all of the superfluous elements out of the mix, the essence may indeed consist of, “it is what it is.”
Take the Twin Flame relationship, as an example. Peruse the multitude of Twin Flame internet sites, and they would have you believe that if two Twin Souls who suddenly found the existence of their respective Twins dropped everything else in their lives not relevant to their Twin Flame love, that all would be well. That it would end in a fairy tale or Hallmark car ending.
That would include the proclivity to “run” if one or both Twins aren’t strong or willing enough to withstand the Twin Flame roller coaster. It would include all preexisting conditions and situations of the respective Twins, before they found each other. It would ignore vast differences in the personalities and therefore lifestyles, of the Twins. All of this must be ignored, in order to have that fairy tale ending wanted universally. The wishful thinking represented by ignoring all of these obstacles, is the “woulda, shoulda, coulda factor” I was talking about. Synonymous with this factor set, would be the “if only factor.” Take my Twin Flame, “Twinklebear” and I for example.
Twinklebear and I live in different countries, she in England and I in America. “If only” we were born into and lived in the same place, how much more ideal it would be for us. “If only” we had started out as the ideal married couple before we discovered we were each others Twins, how much easier it would have been. You get the idea. Life is suffused with “if onlys” and “wouldas, couldas, shouldas” and it is more true for Twin Souls than for any other group of lesser couples. That is because Twin Flames have a “spiritual mandate” as each other perfect mates. We’re “supposed” to be together.
The bottom line fact for Twinklebear and I is, our situation is far from ideal. In other words, “it is what it is” when you strip away wishful thinking and futile regret from the equation. In the real world of Twin Flames, the “if onlys” and $2.75 will get you on the bus or subway, but not much more. But here’s the thing about “it is what it is.” Twin Souls have to consider the alternative to “it is what it is,” and believe me, the alternative (at least in my and Twinklebear’s case) is not only repugnant, but it is also impossible to live with.
So gut wrenchingly awful is the alternative—which is not to have what we presently have—that it would kill us. That scenario is so bad, so unthinkable, that it it is like a living suicide, devoid of the love, comfort, emotional, spiritual and sensual attributes that can be only gotten from that one person. That is the other side of the coin of “it is what it is.” For Twin Souls, there exists no substitute for his or her Twin. The Twin is a one-of-a-kind for a Twin Soul, the perfect mate.
You may wonder what all of this philosophy-laden hand wringing has to do with the title of this memoir. It is simply this: when I see my Twinklebear and see her smile or laugh, she looks 17 years old–and I tell her this all the time. Just for the record, I am not a “smiler.” I am introverted to the point where I cannot force or fake a smile, and Twinklebear is the only person in the world that can bring a smile to my lips, and a laugh from my belly just by being herself. Her smile and laugh, and my smile and laugh that follow it, transform us from our chronological ages. We become like the inner children we are, and only can be with each other. Her smile reminds me of how much I love her.
We are so natural with each other, so “ourselves” without self-consciousness, or any deliberate consciousness of it. The child-like innocence we assume with each other is a characteristic of true Twin Flames. A conversation I had with her this morning illustrates this. As I was talking with Twinklebear, she coquettishly tilted her head to the side, subconsciously exposing the side of her neck to me. This is known as “neck exposure” by behavioral scientists. In Neanderthal times, this was a biological sign from the female to invite copulation and procreation, thereby ensuring the survival of the species.
Behaviorists consider “neck exposure” (tilting the head to the side) a classic gesture of female flirting and sensuality. Then she began playing with her hair as she smiled at me. “Hair play” is considered another gesture of female flirting. I said to her, “I love you, you flirt!” She then said innocently to me with absolutely no guile, “Me, flirting? Why do you say that?” She really was unaware of her subconscious gestures. These “gestures” have been studied and catalogued by behavioral scientists, and are well documented. That is how natural we are with each other as Twin Souls.
“My sweet Twinklebear, you are so beautiful when you smile—you look 17 years old. I love you so much”
I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way