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SLOW GOING: Let me think.

When I first met Twinklebear (reunited really, because we are reincarnated Twin Flames who had past lives as a couple) three years ago, she did not know what to make of me. As an American, and Twinklebear as a Brit, my outspoken ways were a bit of a culture shock to her. She said to me….

“You are so blunt!”

Other adjectives that occurred to her, were arrogant, aggressive, brash and overbearing. “Hey,” I told her, “I merely speak my mind and tell it like it is!” For a New Yorker, this trait more accurately reflects honesty, rather than an attitude. Given that I fully acknowledge my “honesty,” let me just say that I think I’m extremely smart guy.

For such a smart guy, I’m pretty goddamned dumb!

Hey, I’m not known for my humility, but in the matter of the Twin Flames journey, I must admit to being slow witted at times. It seems that the layers of preconception and habit of behavior baked into my personality, make learning more difficult, when it comes to my Twin Flame relationship with my Twin Soul Twinklebear. That’s why epiphanies come in dribs and drabs in our Twin Soul journey. Such a teachable moment happened for me with my last piece, “Memoir: The Human Element.”

In that piece I discussed the challenges that Twinklebear and I face as a long distance couple. As part of the discussion, I quoted an article in which an experienced long distance couple offered this valuable advice:


“Be ready to work twice as hard as you did before. One thing we’ve learned? You need to work toward having a very strong, solid base to your relationship when you’re long distance. Be open, honest. Take the time to figure out how and when is best to communicate with each other. Work at making each other feel special, even without seeing each other. All the things you work on during a normal relationship will need extra effort for in a long distance relationship.

Call and text each other throughout the day. My wife and I have had to do the long distance thing twice in our relationship. We learned that you have to call and text each other during the day and share what’s going on. In other words, don’t wait to do it all in a phone call at the end of the day when you are tired. Make your partner part of your daily life.”


For a good day, I pondered this advice, especially the last part of it: “Make your partner part of your daily life.” I thought to myself, “Could it be? Have I neglected to make my sweet Twinklebear a part of my daily life in New York, while she is in England?” I had to admit that it was true.

In my defense, let me explain some mitigating circumstances. For the past few months, I have been in the process of a lengthy recovery from a surgery. During this recovery, I have been more or less house bound. Also during this recovery, whenever Twinklebear would ask how how I was doing and what I was doing, my stock response would be, “Not much. I’m doing okay.”

Hey man, could I have been any more tight lipped? I have generally found this recovery from surgery particularly frustrating. In these circumstances, my natural instinct is to be stoic, to not complain and place any undue burden on my sweet Twinklebear. While well intentioned, my taciturn responses did not give Twinkelbear what she deserved—the feeling that I was sufficiently sharing.

After this epiphany I changed my tune, and it is well received by my Twinklebear. I now tell her exactly what I’m doing during my day, no matter how mundane it might seem. What’s not important is the information about what I’m doing, but the feeling that it imparts to Twinklebear that I have included her in my daily life. The importance of this cannot be underestimated.

In my discussion with Twinklebear about my epiphany, I remarked on how these memoirs are food for thought, and how they spark epiphany through introspection. The process of writing these memoirs, and thinking deeply about what was written, does bring revelations to me.

Additionally, ruminating aboout certain pertinent points in these memoirs, does make me appreciate how very much I love my Twinklebear, which is so very much, too much! Ha! Included in the mundane information I now give to my beloved Twinklebear, which she loves (she said, “I love your newfound energy!”) about my daily life, I slip this gem….

“Hey my love, I’m sitting here thinking dirty thoughts about you, you sexy thing. *WINK*”


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin flames, podmates
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


  1. Well I don’t want too much information… Be careful what you say . Ha! On a more serious note , I understand why you have been less informative, it has been a tough ,year or so. What with your retirement, your bike accident, losing your ability to ride , and to top it all, you have major surgery, twice! I am not surprised my sookybear that you have felt in the * dulldrums” . You are now ( like I did ) after my recent surgery, building up your strength.it takes time, and a strong character, to not let it all get you down. I love you my sookybear, always and a day podmates Twinflames 🐻 pact forever and a day! 12 ” hey , I heard that , bad boy ! ” Donk! Such an important epiphany, and truism, of our on going twin journey thus far. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My sweet sexy Twinklebear, speaking of “TMI” mayhaps I should spell out in lurid detail, all the dirty thoughts I have about you, you hot, pretty thing! “WINK” But seriously speaking, I am happy that I had this particular epiphany. I love you forever and a day! Bear Pact, Twin Flames, Podmates, Twin Doodles always! 12 12 12


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