“MEMOIR: I AM NOTHING”

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Until total reunion with Twinklebear, I am nothing.

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FROM TWINKLEBEAR’S BLOG

“The journey of Twin Flames. This is not always straightforward or even easy. In fact it can be damn right tough, almost unbearable to the point of distraction.”

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I am nothing without my Twinklebear.

It seems like my whole life, particularly my search for meaning, was the preparation for this moment. The moment when I finally realized, what real “meaning” consists of. The true meaning of my life and how it has transpired with respect to the focusing on and funneling down to my Twin Flame Twinklebear—has finally hit me.

To be succinct about it, my writing in the past, has prepared me for the moment when I realized the true role of putting words to paper has culminated in the writing itself, to be more than the mere chronicling of events.

My writing has become an instrument of coping in my Twin Flame journey with my beloved eternal wife, Twinklebear.

That is not a grandiose assessment of an ego-inflated writer, but simply a statement of fact. It was on December 10, 2016 when I wrote my first memoir about our Twin Flame journey, “Memoir: Twinklebear” I wrote this inaugural memoir in answer to a plaintive plea that Twinklebear made to me:

“Sookybear, I love your writing, but when are you going to write something about us?”

Up to that point, I had been a print and internet writer about the martial arts and the biker subculture, two areas of life that were of great meaning to me. Little did I know that my extensive experience in writing about those things, was a mere “warm up” to the role of writing about our Twin Flame journey—and a way of being close to Twinklebear when apart.

Writing these memoirs has become a spiritual conduit to Twinklebear herself.

What Twinklebear wrote regarding our Twin Flame love being “almost unbearable to the point of distraction,” is oh so true. Twinklebear and I have not achieved total reunion as a couple due to circumstances, and this drives us crazy!

Like many Twin Flame partners, we have been reincarnated and unceremoniously dropped onto Earth and respective lives and places, which had little to do with each others’ lives and environments. It was only due to fate, destiny and serendipity, that we were able to find each other again three years ago.

The struggle to reconcile our fate together, with the “reality” of our lives before our finding each other again, has been epic. This is the crux of our frustration, that exists in what is an otherwise, wonderful beyond belief, exhilirating beyond normal expectation, joyous love that is the stuff of Hollywood movies and Hallmark ideals.

IF you follow our journey through the memoirs I’ve written about us since December 10, 2016 you will that the tenor of the memoirs has been oh so joyous, just celebratory about our great love and need for each other. Yet as time goes on, it is frustrating to not be in total reunion with my Baby!

Twinklebear and I spend inordinate amounts if time together. It is not unusual for us to talk for four hours straight, schedules permitting. Therein lies the rub! Schedules.

There are those spaces of time every day, when I cannot be with my Great Love, and it is these spans of time when I miss her so terribly. This is where my writing comes into play.

I have realized that I need my writing about us, to make me feel closer to Twinklebear when our schedules have us apart. The “missing” of my baby is so horrible, that writing these memoirs lets me “tap into” my very real Twin Flame connection with her.

It is as if my “signal” with her gets weaker when she is working for example and can’t be with me. Or when she is out with friends. By writing about us, I can “strengthen” my signal with her, and it comforts me. I feel her closer to me in these daily instances, when she cannot be talking to me.

My sweet Twinklebear, I am nothing when we are not together. I have also realized that it is you who gives the rest of my life and existence any meaning. You are everything to me. I always miss you terribly, and moreso as ime goes on.

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

2 thoughts on ““MEMOIR: I AM NOTHING”

  1. I totally know how you feel sookybear. I too miss being together. It is like time, can be so cruel. You are always something, to me. So you can never be nothing!
    I adore you, and love chilling, talking, and having a good laugh (at you) ha!! I meant with you …. Ha!! Such a great memoir my Sookybear
    Podmates Twinflames 🐻 pact forever and a day ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks so much for your lovely comment, my AC Twinklbear. When you mention how you used to feel when I left my office, that terrible empty feeling until you saw me again—oh, my poor Baby! That is that “nothing” feeling I described in the memoir. I hate that feeling too, and like you—still hate it. I want you here, now! Waaaaaa!!!! Awwww, I love my wisearse! Ha! YOU! I love you forever and a day. Twin flames, podmates, Bear Pact Forever, my love! 12 12 12

    Like

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