“MEMOIR: ‘D’ “


Twinklebear’s mum “D” (left) and nan.



It’s a good thing that I’m writing for an audience of people who believe in the Twin Flame journey and other spiritual matters. Otherwise I will come across in this memoir, as a candidate for incarceration in the looney bin. With that said, I am divulging to you that I speak with Twinklebear’s long-passed mum, “D.”


Whether by sheer force of my will, providence, or fate, I have forged a spiritual connection with Twinklebear’s mum, who I call “D” and who passed on a few years ago.. “Twinklebear” Lesley Maclean is my Twin Flame.

After having found Twinklebear in 2015, after who knows how many decades or centuries we’d been separated (we are reincarnated Twin Flames who were married in past lives), Twinklebear rekindled the spiritual flame in me, that had dulled to an imperceptible flicker since I was a child.

As you might know from previous memoir installments, I come from a highly spiritual family. My mom had the ability to see and speak to spirits, ever since she was a young girl in her village in China. After she emigrated to the US as a child in the late 1910s, her ability to see spirits (okay, ghosts—happy now? Ha!) continued unabated in New York. Our family lore is chock full of stories, to this effect.

However, for whatever reasons, after my teen years I’d taken a decidedly agnostic bent, relying on only the visible, palpable and audible for my beliefs—in contravention to my familial roots. I had become, a hardcore skeptic. This all changed after Twinklebear and I reconnected two and half years ago.

Twinklebear and her mother enjoyed an elevated spiritual consciousness together. Twinklebear related to me, about the times when she was young, when she she “D” sat in circle in their local spiritualist church. I realize that this type of spirituality, encroaches onto the paranormal. But, seeing “ghosts” and such, are certainly outside the confines of what is “normal.” This extended spirituality of Twinklebear’s rubbed off on me. I became spiritually reawakened.

I began talking to “D” sometime in 2017, probably around September. Although I can’t remember the exact time I first spoke to her, I can tell you how it transpired. One day when I was deep in thought and worried about some health issues that Twinklebear was having, I felt this palpable presence.

I don’t know how I knew, but I knew it was Twinklebear’s mum, “D.” I felt a warm and friendly flush fill my head, and this warmth, like an entity, had a personality. It was like a warm glow, a convection current in my skull—that seemed to be a very warm “pink” to me.

It is odd to describe a sensation as a “color,” but when I mentioned this to Twinklebear, she said that she feels the same warm “pinkness” when she senses her mum’s presence.

By the way, every time I sense “D’s” presence, the physical dynamic is always the same. When this “pink” warmth seems to fill my head, this sensation of a pleasurable warmth flows downward, first filling the spaces in my neck and shoulders, before it enters my torso.

This is how I know when “D,” is there with me.

Since then, I’ve felt her presence and talked to “D” several times since around September of 2017. After that first time, I was able to initiate contact by saying, “D, are you there?” When she was there, I got those warmth sensations that I described.

There are times when I ask her if she is there, and I don’t have my “D warmth sensations,” and that is when I’m sure she is not present. But when she is there, the sensations are as palpable as a real thermal current.

Another way I can describe these physical sensations, is that they are “euphoric.” I know that “euphoric” is a descriptive psychological term, but that is the way that “warmth” I described, feels as it infuses my upper body. It feels “joyous.”

Joyous, as in euphoric.

The times I am certain when “D” is there with me, are usually times of stress if I’m concerned about Twinklebear’s welfare. Doreen has never failed me, when I need her in those times of worry. For Doreen and I share the same concern about our beloved Twinkle.

But she can be there, just when I want to commiserate, because of the great love we both have for Twinklebear. “D” knows how very much I love “our” Twinklebear–my beloved Twin Flame. We share this. Today was such a time when Doreen was there for me and Twinklbear. We share such a love for Twinklbear. and that is our bond.

I feel such a close spiritual closeness with “D,” perhaps because of our mutual love for Twinklebear. We share a collective love and concern, for Twinklebear.

Because I tend to worry about Twinklebear (although no longer for health reasons, thank God!), I sometimes want and ask for “D’s” help. As I did this morning. Here is verbatim, what I said to her and what transpired….

“D, are you there?”

I felt that familiar warm, pink “euphoria”, suffusing my head, then covering my shoulders like a comforting emotional coat—telling me she was there.

“Hi D. Please help me to love and protect Twinklebear, also with the help of God. I love her so much. And I love you too.”

I felt that “pink warmth” flow down and inundate my torso. That’s when I knew that Doreen was with me.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


2 thoughts on ““MEMOIR: ‘D’ “

  1. So ACC, wow! What a wonderful memoir my sookybear. Thank you so much. It is ACC, in the sense that ( no kidding here) last night , I connected, with your mum too…… How amazing, is that. I asked her how to pronounce your given name properly. We were going through the ” Man tut, man dubt” different pronouncing, of the wonderful name, you were ” God given”. It is like , in a way, our mum’s, hlep us, to connect to our root’s. Also to our true ” spiritual paths” . We are all interwoven, and connected, even though not related, our families, share a bond. I love you always and a day my sookybear I am so glad, you are now fully , ” spiritually awoken” ? We do share, a great spiritual , and physiological, connection. Nothing, could break, or penetrate!
    Podmates 🐻 pact Twinflames forever! My sookybear.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, AC Twinklebear, I am speechless! So ACC alright! Speechless at the fact that you were able to contact my mom! It sounds like you had a really relevant conversation with her. You’re welcome, for the memoir. Awwww…I love you forever and a day, my love. So amazing! Twin Flames, Podmates, Bear Pact Forever! 12 12 12


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