MY SWEET TWINKLEBEAR: She’s the other half of “our” egg.

Her friends and relatives may think she’s crazy. My friends and relatives may think I’m crazy.

“Are you insane, (insert ‘Twinklebear’ or ‘Sookybear’ here)? Nobody falls immediately and hopelessly in love like that, in the real world! Anyway, it’s probably just infatuation! It will go go away in a few weeks! You’ll be over (insert ‘him’ or ‘her’ here) in short order! You’ll see!”

—–Fast forward two and half years.

It not only hasn’t dissipated, it’s gotten even more intense.

It’s difficult to talk to “outsiders” (the soulmate community calls people who have not experienced the Twin Flame journey, the “unawakened”) about how absolutely real Twin Flames are. Twinklebear and I can attest to that.

As a writer, I’m supposed to be good with words. But it’s hard for me to find the right words, because I am straddling two worlds.

The first world, is the one everybody knows. For lack of a better term let’s call this the “secular world.” I might’ve used the term “normal world,” but that misappellation would confer a sense of “unreality” to the Twin Flame world—which would be wrong.

What Twinklebear and I have as Twin Flames is as real, and in a profound sense—more real than anything in the secular world.

That other world that I straddle, is the “spiritual world.” I can’t think of any term more applicable than “spiritual,” to apply to the Twin Flame phenomenon. It is rooted in an event that occurred in a time of pre-history, and perhaps before time began. Since the event consisted of splitting of one soul into two, it is of a spiritual nature.

While the small numbers of people who experience the Twin Flame journey live in the spiritual world, everyone lives in the secular world. This is precisely why it is difficult to explain my Twin Flame journey with Twinklebear, to the “unawakened”.

People who have never known the Twin Flame relationship, are bound to be skeptical. The secular experience is all they know. The Twin Flame relationship on the other hand, is of the spiritual realm, in origin and nature—and therefore foreign to the uninitiated.

The profound spiritual elements inherent in the Twin Flame journey, are in addition to the normal, secular passions of our human selves. So, Twinklebear and I have the whole enchilada, so to speak.

Think of it as “love at first sight,” but hopelessly intense and never ending. It is the Romeo and Juliet Syndrome for adults—a play that never closes, and is eternal in it’s appeal.

OUR SOUL POD: Twinklebear and I were in this “egg” before we split into Twin Souls.

AT THE BEGINNING: At some indeterminate time, perhaps before time even began, there was this “soul pod.” Think of it as en egg. There are, according the Bible, 144,000 Twin Flames in the world, or 72,000 potential Twin Soul couples out of the world’s population at any given time. At that indeterminate time, our egg split open, and Twinklebear and I were separated. At that point, we became Twin Souls or “Twin Flames.” The purported purpose of this split, was to ensure that we each could have the “perfect mate.” And this is the reason all Twin Souls, are separated from their Twins. So that they have a perfect mate somewhere in the world, somewhere in time.

Therein lies the trouble.

The solution to how each Twin Soul could have a perfect mate out there somewhere, ironically became the problem for Twin Flames. Allow me to explain.

The challenges are enormous. How do Twin Souls find each other again, once separated? Would they even be reborn in the same centuries or millennia as each other, let alone the same lifetimes? You can see the types of logistical problems, which arise in the “secular world.”

Out of 144,000 Twin Souls, how many of these get to find their Twins at any given time? It is not knowable how many Twin Flame couples find each other. What are the odds in a world of eight billion people? The chances are astronomically low–which is why Twinks and I are so grateful to have found each other.

Implicit with the idea of Twin Flames, is the concept of reincarnation. Twin Flames and reincarnation go hand in hand, for Twin Souls must be given the chance to reunite with their Twin Flame mates in different life cycles.

Twinklebear and I know, through vivid dreams, latent memories, and coincidences in our respective lives (see previous memoirs) that we are reincarnated, and have lived past lives as husband and wife.

One can imagine how daunting the logistical problems arising in the “secular world” for Twin Flames may be.

For example, one may not be reborn during the other’s lifetime. If reborn in the same lifetime, there may be significant age differences.

I read of a Twin Flame relationship, in which a twenty-something year old woman, found her Twin Flame, who turned out to be 95 years old. But that’s not all. She was in America, and he was in China. Neither could speak the other’s language.

They may be born thousands of miles away from each other, in different countries. If so, how do they find each other? In this respect, Twinklebear and I are lucky, for I’m in America and she is in England—because we were able to find each other through (I believe) fate.

There may be language barriers. Twinklebear and I at least, speak the same language, although Twinklebear speaks it in that funny accent of hers. “RUNNING” Ha! Hey Twinkle—put that rolling pin down! “DONK” Hey….oooww! YOU!

Another potential problem, which is quite common with Twin Flames who are lucky enough to find each other, is that one or both may be married to different people.

You get the idea about the plethora of problems that face Twin Flames reborn into the same time.

Twinklebear and I have encountered obstacles that we have to overcome, before total reunification takes place. I will not be more specific, for as candid as I am in these memoirs, some details are only our business.

But I will state unequivocally, that it was a true miracle that we (re)found each other (again). This in itself, is a miracle, any way you slice it. We “know” each other. We recognized from the first, the other as our true Twin Flame other half.

At the risk of repeating myself, I am going to describe how it was at our “new” beginning, after we found each other in this lifetime. I am going to repeat things I’ve said in earlier memoirs now, because it is so wonderful and miraculous, that I still marvel at it.

I enjoy talking about it. Nostalgia is a powerful emotion.

Twinklebear and I met in late 2015. We were totally ignorant of soulmate principles at that time, and especially of the esoteric—even in the soulmate community—“Twin Flames” concept. Even among people who believe in “soulmates,” Twin Flames are an obscure entity, because true Twin Flames are rare in number.

Without an inkling of the signs of true Twin Flames, we instantly noted an immediate physical, mental and intellectual attraction to each other, far exceeding in intensity, any we had experienced before.

We had this sense of “knowing” each other from before, inexplicable since we’d just met.

We found that we could talk for hours, without end—without tiring of it. Just as importantly, we did start talking for hours, schedules permitting—every single day.

We had synchronicity of thought, able to divine what the other was thinking or feeling. We seemed to intuit, the other’s deep thoughts and emotions, without words.

We immediately began to think about the other, every minute of every day. The amount of time spent thinking of each other, was unnerving and unexplainable.

The need for each other was massive from the very beginning. We felt that we could never, ever, be without the other.

The very idea of separating for good—which we each contemplated at the beginning, because the emotions were so insanely intense—brought on a sense of mourning as deep, as if a loved one had died.

The sense of loss from the idea of never seeing each other again, felt as if our entire insides, were scooped out, gone. The feeling that one could never be without the other—felt like death. Just the thought of the possibility of separating, caused this deep grief. Actually separating, would have killed me for real.

These and many other signs manifested themselves with us, before we learned through reading—that they were signs of being Twin Flames.

So yes, admittedly we do have obstacles to overcome before we have total reunification. We are not alone in this. But we love each other unconditionally, and totally. Our commitment is unbelievably strong—indomitable, in fact.

From what I’ve read, almost all Twin Flames encounter these “logistical problems” upon being reborn into the same lifetime.

I remain optimistic, even though these obstacles are frustrating. Twinklebear’s love and caring for me, and mine for her, which play out every single day that we talk, are everything to me.

This is where the magic is, because the loving is there every single day, without hesitation. The love is unconditional, and steady. Of all the people in the world, Twinklebear is the only one I fully trust.

Our loving is nurturing and necessary, simply because we need it so much. And it is always there, from me to her and her to me—ever present and nourishing. We count on each other, beyond all others. We never fail each other.

Pieces seem to be falling into place. The objective, is to get back into that “egg” with my Twinklebear, so that we are one again.

The love and passion, which exist and are felt in the “secular” world, are a miracle to be treasured. And we do. We live and love this everlasting love, every day.

Our Twin Flame connection, transcends time and space. We will prevail.


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way


2 thoughts on ““MEMOIR: SPLIT FROM ONE EGG”

  1. So perfectly put my sookybear. Thank you so very much for this sweet, enjoyable, perception of our “Twinflame journey” . I love you forever and a day! Podmates Twinflames 🐻 pact forever! 12 .
    It is so funny, how we do talk for hours, and then you have to cook, I get the sick bucket out! Ha! Donk! Also we share Everything, our thoughts, our worries, fears,. Trials and so on… Mostly our joy! At the fact we have found one another, again against the odds! The unconditional love, we share, is like nothing on earth. I love you my Sookybear, always. To leave would be suicide! Never! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. AC Twinklebear, my most sweet love. I love you so much, TOO much, as a matter of fact! We were so fortunate to have found each other, but I think we both know that fate played a hand in it. Fate arranged to have our paths cross. Your dreams of a rescuing warrior wearing black, red and silver—was fulfilled in me—in time for me to once again , save you, my Eternal love. Thank God! It was meant to be. Also, my ONE CHANCE in this lifetime, to once and for all, teach you how to cook properly. “RUNNING” Not to mention teach you how speak English properly! Ha! Hey, doanworrybowdit! Hey! Put that rolling pin down, YOU! 12 12 12 I love you Forever and a day. Twin Flames, Podmates, Bear pact Forever! Awww..my soppy date! Ha!


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