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MY TWINKLEBEAR: I’m constantly telling her how beautiful she truly is.
FROM PSYCHOLOGY TODAY:
Compliments are one of the most extraordinary components of social life. If given right they create so much positive energy that they makes things happen as if by magic. They ease the atmosphere around two people and kindly dispose people to each other.
Compliments derive from taking notice of praiseworthy situations…so they are a mark of awareness and consciousness. Once praiseworthy situations are noticed, the awareness needs to be spoken.
Compliments are little gifts of love. They are not asked for or demanded. They are powerful gifts. But compliments only work if they are a sincere reflection of what we think, and if they are freely given and not coerced.
Compliments backfire if they are not genuine. And faux flattery is usually highly transparent. A false compliment makes the speaker untrustworthy; It raises suspicions about motives. And that can undermine a whole relationship.
My Twin Flame, “Twinklebear” Lesley Maclean and I had an interesting discussion today, as we always do. Our talks are engaging, fascinating, and enlightening. They serve as a limelight, on ourselves, as they teach us about ourselves—as this is a featured attribute of the Twin Flame relationship.
Twinklebear and I were comparing notes, about how we as Twin Flames, are different from past romantic relationships. She told me about one past relationship, where the man was cloying in his compliments to her, annoying her. She succinctly described this behavior as “O.T.T.”—“over the top.” At times, she wanted to ask the man, “Okay, what do you want?”
These gratuitous compliments, definitely fell into the “transparent in motive” category, engendering suspicion and irritation in Twinklebear.
Twinklebear describes her reaction to this over the top behavior, as having the reverse effect of what the man desired. She felt the need for more space, the more the man engaged in this type of behavior.
Exacerbating Twinklebear’s annoyance, was the man’s disturbing cloying habit of always wanting to “cuddle” with her, seeking reciprocal behavior from Twinks 24/7.
Sure, women are famous for craving cuddling, but not all the time. She was hardworking with a job, and a child. She sometimes needed normal “breathing space” after a hard day.
So, what does a person do when he or she “needs space?” She withdraws. And so she did. A completely normal reaction. The man’s inability to recognize Twinklebear’s need for normal space, resulted in a loss of respect Twinkelebear had for the man.
In every relationship, there is usually a “stronger partner.” In Twinks’ relationship with this other man, she was the stronger partner.
In this relationship, the man’s cloying “O.T.T.” compliments, were a symptom of the man’s relative weakness–causing Twinklebear to lose respect for him, and to withdraw from him.
This is Primal Males and Females 101. These primal instincts are hardwired into males and females since time immemorial. There should be no surprise in Twinklebear’s reaction to the situation.
Her reaction was written in stone, since Neanderthal times.
Women respect strength.
Twinklebear described another relationship, which was on the other end of the spectrum. This other man was such a self absorbed narcissist, that he never complimented Twinklebear—which is hard to believe—if you have eyes and can see what a classic blonde hottie Twinklebear is.
This man was incapable of giving, or reciprocating love—acts which would have reached beyond the man’s meager view of himself. However, this other man did not reveal his true nature until much later–when it was too late.
This man was also a classic “gaslighter,” a control freak who seemed to need to augment his ego, by subjugating another person’s ego and will. This man was not merely cloyingly and annoying, he was….suffocatingly toxic.
Between one man to the other, Twinklebear bounced unknowingly, from one extreme end of the spectrum to the other. These represented meaningless compliments because of their O.T.T. nature—to none.
That brings us to Twinklebear and me.
With an eye on “compliments,” you have to know that I tell Twinklebear, how beautiful she is, several times day.
If I told you that I tell Twinklebear how beautiful she is, perhaps ten to twenty times a day? Would you believe me? Would you think it disingenuous, or untrue? Here’s the thing….
Twinklebear and I think this is totally normal—for us—because these compliments are heartfelt and are acts of compulsion.
What do I mean by this? I mean, that I feel so overwhelmed by Twinklebear’s beauty, sexiness, and primal animal feminine attractiveness—that I cannot but help—complimenting her as much, as I do
It really is as simple as that.
I face a dilemma here.
In order for me to be able to convey what I feel, when I am so overwhelmed by Twinklebear’s physical attributes, then I would no doubt innocently meander into what many would consider—excessiveley explicit detail.
But Twinklebear said to me earlier….
“You better watch what you say, Sookybear, Or I will ‘donk’ you on the head with my rolling pin! Don’t forget–my family reads these memoirs—you!”
Twinklebear is like Aphrodite, the Goddess of love and beauty.
With no exaggeration, I see Twinklebear as the most incredibly alluring female in the universe, as compelling as the Greek Goddess, Aphrodite—the goddess of love and beauty.
With her classic features and sinfully alluring body (pardon me for salivating here), my God–she is so hot! Aphrodite who? If women re analogous to culinary fare—sweet Twinklebear is the crowning dessert—the delectable cream of the crop, the very pinnacle of primal femininity.
But you knew that we being Twin Flames, that our attraction and perception to and of each other, transcends the superficiality of beauty of face and body. There is the element of us seeing deeply into each other, knowing and loving the beauty and familiarity within—the love and familiarity borne of living past lives together as Twin Flame loves.
Reincarnated Twin Flames we may be, and the more profound turn-on being what it is because of this—don’t forget that we are also human. As humans who are susceptible to the physical charms of the other, hey—how could I not tell her twenty times a day….
“You are so beautiful! I love you!”
To say that these are “compliments,” is to cheapen and dilute their meaning. Rather, these proclamations of love and heartfelt, emotionally driven proclamations are….
“Little gifts of love.”
I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way
SCOTT “SOOKYBEAR” WONG