“In my relationship with this other man, It wasn’t like with you and me. Yes, I loved him, but there wasn’t this overwhelming need I feel for you. He always wanted to cuddle with me, but I felt like I needed my space. I told him….’We don’t have to be touching 24/7….’ That’s the type of woman I was before I met you. I was a free spirit who needed to feel independent, and my ‘needing space’ from my other partner, was because of this.

Now, I want to be with you every minute of every day. I want to be touching you all the time. I need you! If I could be with you every minute of every day, I would be.”


I have been the same as Twinklebear in my relationships with other women. I “needed my space” from them, in much the same way. There had to be a measure of detachment, in order for me to feel comfortable—in control of myself. I had to maintain my “self” and the only way to do that, was to keep some distance, physically and emotionally. Not so with Twinklebear. With Twinklebear, I need her all the time.

Twinklebear and I are so close and so open with each other, you could not fit a thin piece of rice paper between us. That’s the way we want it to be. Even if we wanted it to be different, there could be no other option. That is the way it is, and it is remarkably extreme in its intensity. We see it as an attribute of our true twin flame partnership.

There is no distance between us emotionally. We have shared our innermost secrets and emotions with each other, which is a line neither of us would have crossed with other people. With others, we kept this border of detachment around our respective selves—borders that have since fallen and dissipated, between Twinklebear and me.

“I love you.”

“I want you.”

“I need you!”

Others may disagree, but I feel that this last emotion, of needing a “twin flame” soulmate, is perhaps more critical an emotion, than either loving one’s soulmate or wanting one’s soulmate. Of course, all three emotions are interdependent, but my twin flame “Twinklebear” and I believe that it is our need for each other, that has kept us from breaking up, and will continue to keep us from breaking up. This need for each other—borders on the necessary, on a life sustaining level—for us.

It is a matter or survival.

One can love and want one’s lover and soulmate, but that will not force one’s hand in terms of staying with a soulmate, if that crazy-in-love, head-over-heels relationship, turns one’s world upside down—and threatens one’s sanity!

That is the upside-down world, that Twinklebear and I found ourselves in, two years ago. It was so disorienting. It was so wild, we didn’t know what was happening.

It was like being caught up in a vortex of an uncontrollable storm—helpless to alter, or even understand, the events washing us along like so much flotsam and jetsam.

Regarding what we could have done otherwise, we could have simply left such circumstances, if our “need” for the other did not match and accompany our “loving” and “wanting” each other. Thankfully, our need for each other was and is enormous. That will never change.

This third ingredient of “needing,” is the glue that cements the permanence of the twin flame couple. There is no question about it.

If one feels that one absolutely cannot leave his or her soulmate, and that separating would be akin to a slow death, promising even greater insanity than staying—and that the loss of such a partner would be like ripping out one’s own heart and soul—then, there can be no other option, than to stay together. See how simple this is?

It’s a matter of survival!

Hey, that was Twinklebear and me!

Yes, Twinklebear and I fell crazy in love like the prototypical ton of bricks, almost immediately, two years ago. The relationship was exhilarating, intense and threatening, because the emotions we felt toward the other were so extreme. It truly frightened us. We had never experienced anything like it. Like anything unfamiliar and foreign in its presentation—it scared us—pure and simple.

I was used to “tepid,” and then Twinklebear came along. God, what a woman! So hot! The heat from our interaction, was and is addictive. I cannot be without my sweet Honeybear.

Twinklebear and I felt and feel, that we cannot be separated for even a day or two, never mind forever. This is “need” at it’s finest, as the main attribute of a twin flame relationship. Never underestimate the power of anguished need.

Late last year, I was scheduled to attend a medical meeting in Chicago. My being in Chicago, was slated to last less than a week. I had already paid for the airline tickets and made reservations at the hotel. Here is the conversation Twinklebear and I had, just before the meeting.

TWINKLEBEAR: “When were you going to tell me about this? Were you afraid to tell me?”

ME: “What’s the matter? It’s only for three or four days that I’ll be away.”

TWINKLEBEAR: “No, it will be six days altogether! That is a long time! I can’t stand it!

My God, did that pluck at my heart strings! Awww, my poor, beloved Twinklebear. I love her so much, and need her so much, as well. I treasure her. I had an epiphany then. These things happen, when key moments in a twin flame journey, make us realize what’s real, and what’s imperative.

So what did I do? Did I callously say, “Hey grow up! It’s only a few days, fer crissakes!” No, I did not do that.

Like any duly sensitive twin flame soulmate, who closely had the pulse of his twin flame partner—and who truly felt the pain of my twin flame love—I canceled my trip. When she voiced her pain at the prospect of us being separated for six days, it broke my heart. I melted, when I realized what she was feeling.

It was the right thing to do, because I realized that I needed Twinklebear, as much as she needed me, for those six missing days. Reciprocity is the key, in a twin flame relationship.

It is difficult to accurately describe how intensely I need Twinklebear. It is hard at least, to convey the depth of this need to unaware (known as “unawakened” in soulmate subculture terminology) people.

Let’s just say that I cannot be without her. It is that simple.

I need my Twinklebear!

I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and A Day
Twin Flames, Podmates Always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 In Every Way


2 thoughts on ““MEMOIR: THE EMOTION OF NEED”

  1. My sookybear, what a perfect memoir, to capture how we feel ,and felt, in the beginning. It was such a ” whirlwind” running through. The feelings, so deep, and intense, from the word go!
    I love the fact, you cancelled your Chicago trip, I did feel a little guilty though , as I know your lectures, meant a lot to you. Well I only felt guilt ( momentarily ) ha! ” Kidding!”. I was so happy, you stayed , as it felt so empty, without you.
    This memoir, is so accurate, and yes, we do want, need, and feel all of the above , in the memoir. ” Crazy ” as it is, or was! It is the best part of our day, and lives. We have so much fun! Go through major emotional stuff, that might ( break others ) . I love you forever and a day my sookybear , bearpact, Twinflames 🐻, podmates forever! 121212 .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, AC Twinklebear, we have so much packed into every day for us. All the extremes of joy, elation. passion and yes—even sadness shared. It is intense, and I would not change it for anything. Okay, Maybe for five minutes of sanity? “RUNNING” Ha! Only kidding, you! I love, want and need you….more! Ha! Forever and a day, my love. BTW, I don’t know how to get those bear icons here…. 12 12 12


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