WE’RE PRIMITIVE AND PRIMAL: Twinklebear and I play by ancient man-woman rules.
“Women love hairy men. Cavemen were the sexiest men in history…”
Twinklebear—I write these memoirs for us—not for others.
Let me stipulate this right now. Let there be no misconception or illusions. Nobody besides “Twinklebear” Lesley Maclean and I, have the slightest interest in us as soulmates of the twin soul variety—probably not even other “twin Souls” (also known as “twin flames”)—have any interest in our soulmate journey.
I will spare readers the eye-glazing lesson in what “twin souls” or “twin flames” are. Hey, that’s what Google’s for, know what I mean? I will just say that it is of extreme interest to Twinklebear and myself, to ruminate about the dynamics of our twin soul, soulmate journey, for it is truly a journey of progression and evolution.
My twin soul, soulmate “Twinklebear” and I, find discussing our journey, endlessly fascinating. You readers—not so much. Do you readers know what this means?
It means that you can stop reading this right now, and go back to your internet porn.
Or….you are now hopelessly hooked by now, and your inquisitive minds are burning feverishly, to see what outrageous things I have to say about us. One thing about me. Whether I’m writing about the martial arts, biker subculture or about our soulmate journey, I always tell it like it is.
That means that I may say things which are politically incorrect at times—but hey—live with it, world! For sure, some of the things I’m about to say about our relationship, will offend the sensibilities of polite society….so be it! Put your pitchforks down, and enjoy the ride! And away, we go!
Twinklebear and I are very primal.
Twinklebear and I stoke each other’s most primitive instincts.
After I met Twinklkebear over a year and half ago, I saw her as a beautiful beast who I had to have. In order to “have her,” I knew subconsciously that I had to dominate her, dominate our immediate social environment, and dominate our “situation.” This was a primal instinct in me, harkening back to prehistorical behavior, that alpha males have stored in our DNA. Every cell of my being whispered to my love-fevered mind….
“Go get her…win her, have her, own her, make her yours…and kill the competition….”
And what a “situation” it was. We mutually and immediately, fell mad-crazy-in-love with each other, both of us wanting the other totally. That was never in question. Even the “competition” was never in question, because deep down, Twinklebear wanted only me.
What was in question, was what ritualistic and primal machinations, did Twinklebear and I have to go through, to achieve the desired result? Here’s where primal male and female characteristics, came into play. Our genetically hard-wired masculine and feminine traits, would dictate our feelings and actions.
A strong alpha female, needs to test her mate. Her mate must be even stronger than her to survive this test
Even if a woman loves a weaker man, if she loses respect for him because he is weak, they will never gel totally as a couple.
Needless to say, Twinklebear wasn’t quite aware, that is what she was doing, that she was testing me. She didn’t know that she was subconsciously testing my resolve as an alpha male, to own her. I had to “qualify” by being strong enough, to pass Twinklebear’s primal female test. I would not fail.
Weaker males would have left the testing field, discouraged by her spirit and feistiness.
Both of us perceived this previously, as her resistance borne of fear and denial—from her rebelling against our precipitously falling deeply in love so very quickly. We now know differently. We now know, that her primitive female reaction, was a primal instinct that has been baked into the base female persona, since prehistory. She was testing my male strength.
She was testing her mate’s strength, and therefore his ability to protect her.
Really, this is a story as old as time itself, a tale of man’s domination instincts, that motivated Neanderthals—who had to be willing to fight to the death, to win their women over. If a man was found wanting in the balls department, then it was “Get lost, buddy–you ain’t good enough fer me!” from the female.
I knew this instinctively after I met Twinklebear and wanted her, even if I could not yet cognitively identify what was going on. I knew I had a fight on my hands, and ironically, it was a fight with my beloved.
The fight was with the beautiful beast I wanted to own.
In our early days, Twinklebear was a fierce opponent. She fought with every scintilla of her body, mind and soul–to get away from me in various ways, while paradoxically wanting me terribly. I know, it sounds counterintuitive. But it is not. It makes pure, primal sense.
Her primary female weapon to “test” my resolve, was classically, jealousy.
Twinklebear and I were reminiscing today, and we discussed this aspect of our journey. We concluded that we now knew exactly what she was doing, in this testing of me—although we were unaware of the precise rationale of it then. The anger I felt at being wound up by Twinklebear’s subconsciously making me jealous—was predictable, so familiar in the prehistoric script that has been written thousands of years ago. The dilemma was….
“Fight or flight!”
Did I want this beautiful beast, enough to fight for her? You betcher ass (“arse” to Brits–Ha!)
I usually never shy away from a fight, even in circumstances like there were, when I clamored to be away from the emotional pain of this ritual of ours. I did consider it—very briefly. I briefly fled—only to discover that the void it left in my gut, that the possibility of “us” being lost–was too much to bear. In this early test, I returned to Twinklebear within mere hours. I therefore, chose “fight” over “flight.” This morning, Twinklebear said….
“If you hadn’t of come back to me, then you wouldn’t have been worth keeping….”
This was an enlightening moment, for both of us.
I must point out, that this statement by her this morning, was really the first moment that she and I clearly understood, what was going on ritualistically, many months ago. It came into sharper focus today
While she has said that she loves my strength and my will to dominate (“It makes me feel protected”), she did not fully realize until she said that this morning, that she was ritualistically testing my capability as a potential mate, in the way that females have, since time immemorial.
DOMINATION: Deep down women only respect strong males.
Once I came back to Twinklebear, I instinctively knew that I had to tame her. I had to tame Twinklebear, and dominate the “situation” that she and I were creating—our soulmate journey. I had to break down her resistance to me, to make her “more invested” in me as her alpha male mate.
Mind you, I didn’t consciously make decisions to achieve this. What I did, was to reach down to the most primal and primitive depths of my mind and soul as a male, to retrieve instincts long forgotten, to do this. I had to bend her to my alpha male will, until her resistance was broken, and then, and only then—did I feel that I could relax and stop trying to dominate her. I am pleased to report that that point had been reached, some time ago.
My overbearing male behavior, became altered as I no longer felt the need to dominate my woman to make her mine. That is why Twinklebear and I now share a very equal relationship. I am hers, and she is mine, forever. We both know this now. Thank God! Twinklebear, you are the love of my life.
As I stated at the beginning of this memoir, we may be the only people reading this memoir, but that’s okay. Or, as you say, “That’s okay, then.” It is okay, because we are the only ones that count. I will love you, and will want you, forever.
I LOVE YOU, TWINKLEBEAR
FOREVER AND A DAY!
SUPER SOULMATES ALWAYS
BEAR PACT FOREVER!
12 12 12 IN EVERY WAY
SCOTT “SOOKYBEAR” WONG