“MEMOIR: WHAT YOU ARE, I ONCE WAS. WHAT I AM, YOU WILL BECOME”

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TWINKLEBEAR: My Soulmate transformed my life, and I, her life.

My Sookybear memoirs continue with this installment, in which I will attempt to convey to you, the magnitude of change and self-discovery in my life, that Twinklbear Maclean has effected. Twinklebear as you know from earlier installments, is my true Soulmate, Eternal Wife and the love of my life.

I admit, that getting my points across won’t be easy, because we bikers are notoriously dense and uninquisitive, about anything beyond our drag bars. But I will try. As President Trump famously said to a left-wing, special interest group….

“What the hell do you have to lose?”

If you have no interest beyond having the bread for your next gas fill-up, or wondering if you should install baffles in your straight pipes or not, then read no further.

Go about your business and miss some great writing. Go ahead! Make my day! Ha!

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“What you are, I once was. What I am, you will become.”

ISAAC MARION, “WARM BODIES”

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That is actually a re-quote from an 18th century European monastery, the original quote being this:


“The rose is red: Ye grass is green
As you are so once was I but
As I am now so shall be ye
Be prepared for death and follow me

Kind friends beware as you pass by
As you are now so once was I;
As I am now so you must be
Prepare, therefore to follow me”

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This quote has been copied and repeated with some differences—predominantly on gravestones all over the world. This saying has now permeated the public domain, for centuries.

I’m too cynical to believe that bikers (let alone citizens) are going to relate to the personal metamorphosis that Twinklebear and I went through, let alone experience it. I consider what Twinklebear and I have gone through, a rare occurrence, unknown to most.

Hey, I can tell ya one thing though. Before I met Twinklebear, I was a ten on the skepticism scale, of one to ten about things like this. I was, like most of you, never concerned with the type of navel gazing that David Snow characterized this as. Good ‘ole Snow! Leave it to him to drop a huge dollop of reality on such matters extolled by art school graduates. The only thing is…..

What I have gone through with Twinklebear, is not only real, it is hyperreal.

What I will do is to tell you this, from my perspective. As you read it though, realize that Twinklebear for her part, underwent a mirror-image transformation, as we bared our Souls to each other. From my point of view, it would be no exaggeration that my relationship with Twinklebear unlocked a person inside of me, that was heretofore hidden way. Twinklebear made the observation to me recently…..

“People spend their lives hiding from each other in varying degrees….presenting a ‘public face’ to others, as a way of coping with and interacting with others and the world…”

That is so true. For example, we as bikers, may present a tough image to our Biker Subculture brethren, and there is nothing wrong with this—or inaccurate. Hey, we are tough, no questioning that. That just comes with the territory, man. After all we ain’t lame stockbrokers stroking golf balls at country clubs, right? Screw that noise. But that brings up the question…..

Then who does see the real us, the rest of who we are, those parts of our personalities, when in the solitude of our homes?

The short answer would be for most, “my wife” or “my husband.” However, I realized long ago in my relationship with my Soulmate, that even among spouses—secrets big and small, are routinely hidden from our spouses. Call this, benign neglect with respect to telling our spouses “everything.”

I see nothing sinister in this. In fact, I see this as the norm in marriage relations. Practically no spouses feel totally safe divulging everything to their mates. Call this a holding back, a “defensive” or “coping” mechanism, in preserving the sanctity of our privacy, and minds. May I suggest, that the reason for this reluctance to tell all to another person is…..

You just haven’t met the one person in this world, a true Soulmate, a person who you can be so close to, that you would not withhold things from.

I feel that close to Twinklebear, that I can tell her anything and everything about myself, including about my fears and inner demons. I feel that the main reason males hold back such information, is that they don’t wish to seem weak. I get this, because I am an Alpha Male. But with Twinklebear, I can.

With her, I can be totally myself and feel “safe” doing so. Hey, if you think this is all psychobabble–then you truly don’t get how liberated I feel with this one person to be able to do this with.

I guarantee you, it is a total bonding experience. We can talk about anything and everything, all day long. I could not do this with any other person in the world. Hey, If I can talk to someone else other than my Soulmate for more than five minutes–that person would be lucky.

Coming to my point in a roundabout way, Twinklebear is the only human being, with whom I can be totally myself–and I mean all of myself with. In this sense, Twinklebear has released the “real me”—the person who has hidden certain portions of who I am, from all others and the world at large—and it feels just wonderful.

I am skeptical about—as I stated at the beginning of this memoir installment—whether or not you would see value in this, unless you have experienced the joys of it, firsthand. But hey, I tried. Later.

I love you Twinklebear
Forever and a day

SCOTT “SOOKYBEAR” WONG

FINITO

2 thoughts on ““MEMOIR: WHAT YOU ARE, I ONCE WAS. WHAT I AM, YOU WILL BECOME”

  1. This is so accurate, and very honest, and noble of you to say this out loud. I feel the same too. We can be completely open. This is ( if one doesn’t have it ) so. Liberating! Also good to know you always have someone who knows the real you . I love this memoir, thank you sookybear. Love you forever and a day ! 121212.

    Like

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