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TWINKLEBEAR: My Solumate had a request.

MARCH 2016

“Sookybear, I’ve been reading your memoirs, and I was wondering….when are you going to write something about us? I mean….I wish you would write about me…..”



“Be careful what you wish for in this world, for if you wish for it hard enough you are sure to get it.”

SARAH ORNE JEWETT, The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 67, 1891.


There you have it. This was the genesis of my Sookybear memoir series. You have witnessed the transformation of Genghis-The-Writer-About-The-Biker-Subculture, into Sookybear The Chronicler Of Life And Romance With My Soulmate Twinklebear

Which is not to say that I’ve stopped writing about the Biker Subculture. “Sookybear” is just another facet of my personality. So it’s a very mushy part, okay? So sue me! But hey! If ya doan dig it man, then doan read it, okay? Just hit the back button and look at the pretty pics of Harleys, and stay uninformed about yer host, ya goddamn ingrates. Ha!

In order for you to fully appreciate the Sookybear and Twinklebear Story, you deserve to know how I acquired the additional nickname of “Sookybear” from my sexy and beautiful Soulmate, Twinklebear—something I’m sure that all of you hardcore bikers are dyin’ ta know—so I’ll flesh it out for ya.

When I first met Twinklebear in late 2015, she was simply “Lesley” and I was “Scott.” There was an instant recognition of, moreso by Lesley than me because she is of a more spiritual nature than me—of something about us. That “something” was a vaguely formed, but definite knowledge about each other, from the past. It may have been a vague feeling in me, but it was as Twinklebear says….

“It was like….Boom!…I knew right away that we knew each other in the past intimately…”

I too felt this inherent intimacy between us, and what followed quite naturally, was the familiar flirtation between mates, even though we’d only just met in this life. And you will see why I emphasized, “this life…”

I know it sounds incredible, but we had this instant chemistry, this seamless and flawless comfort with each other, that can only be borne of previous camaraderie, conversation and yes—sex—that we had had with each other in a real world sense, sometime in the past. Can you say, “reincarnation?” But we had just met. How could this be?

That was well and good, but Twinklebear and I still had to deal with the present world reality, that we’d just met. But deep inside, we knew. We knew that in other lives and ages, we’d been lovers, spouses and Soulmates. Of this, there was never any doubt.

Even though there was no doubt that our inner Souls recognized and knew each other immediately, there was still the very real and inconvenient fact that Lesley and Scott had just met, and we had to proceed in this context. After all, we didn’t want people to think we were crazy. Decorum had to be maintained, man!

But the familiarity with each other from the past just took over— and we automatically flew by past rules of engagement, using phrases and behavior we’d used with each other, for who knows many years or millennia—as if we were on autopilot. Our humor, our sensuality with each other, our knowledge of the other’s sexual nature and preferences–it was all there, to be tapped into right away.

One sure sign of being true Soulmates, is that the two Soulmates can talk for hours without getting tired of it. Truth to tell, Twinklebear and I can talk all of our waking ours, and we still can’t get enough of it. Every minute we are away from each other, we miss each other terribly, and just want to be with the other. We are truly each other’s “Other Half”–an overused phrase rendered meaningless by Hallmark–but absolutely true in our case.

We resent not being to be able to be with the other when apart. When we are apart, we become, anxious, angry, cranky and insecure. We need to be with each other to feel normal.

We complete each other.

And this completing of each other, that constitutes Our Whole, resumed unabated for us as if years or centuries hadn’t intervened, before we saw each other again. This explains why we get so cranky when apart—we need to be with the other, just to feel normal.

It was like we opened up the Lesley And Scott Archives, and there it all was, right there–just as we knew it was…and is. Our past living and loving, was being relived again, without any coaching or prompting. It was destiny fulfilling itself. We didn’t even have to open our history book, to know exactly how to be with each other. It was all instinctive and perfect, preserved in our collective Soulmate Subconscious.

But, we still had to use the rules of the present time, and the present time dictated that we were in late 2015, virtual strangers. The nicknames we immediately began using for each other however, served as a familiarity bridge that helped us to bridge the gap between the real us—Soulmates who’d known each other intimately—and the Scott and Lesley of 2015 who had just met, if that makes sense to you.

“Twinklebear” was easy. When Lesley was a child, her family called her Twinkle. After I acquired my Soulmate nickname of “Sookybear” it seemed natural and right to add “bear” to the “Twinkle.” Now, as to my nickname….

It was a coping mechanism.

Place yourself in our situation. Here we were, two people who were lovers in the past, and we both knew it. How could we, how would you cope with this strange set of circumstances? In our case, we used flirtation as a way to reacquaint ourselves, with the other, after so many years away from each other. I know, it sounds like a Hollywood romcom, but in our case—it was happening now in real time, not Hollywood reel time.

In a flirtatious ploy, Lesley started calling me “Uncle Scott,” an uncle who lasciviously would take to asking my flirtatious “niece” to come out and “play.” This seemingly benign roleplay, I assure you, was highly charged in a sexual way. It looked benign to casual observers, but to me and Lesley, this type of wordplay and flirting concealed the very intensive intimacy we enjoyed on every level, even early on. It reflected how well we knew each other from previous lives as lovers and Soulmates. It was as if we were never separated by time and Fate.

One day, Twinklebear asked me how to say “uncle” in Cantonese. I told her it was “sook.” She then took to calling me “Sooky” both in private and public. Because I’m protective of my Soulmate, like a bear, it wasn’t long until “bear” was tacked onto “Sooky.”

“Sookybear” lives!

After that, “Twinklebear” was born as a matching nickname. The circle was now complete. I love my Twinklebear, so very much. I shall always love and cherish her.

I feel it such a miracle that we found each other, again. Think of it as a Hollywood type of tale if you will. It does gets lived out by my Baby and me, in real time. I am simply overwhelmed by looking at Twinklebear sometimes, awed by her beauty and presence. I truly perceive her as the most beautiful woman in existence, and say so many times a day.

It is simply something I cannot help but say, when I look into her eyes, and see behind her aqua eyes, the Soul I knew before, and now know once more. Saying, “God, you are so beautiful!”—is a reflex action prompted by me being overwhelmed by Twinklebear’s sheer charisma, as my Soulmate, that this occurs. It is such a miracle that Twinklebear loves me. I feel so privileged and honored.

I also feel privileged to be able to commit to the empty page, the words describing my love for you, Twinklebear. My sweet Honeybear, I love and need you so much. Be careful what you wish for my love…and I’m glad you got it.

I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day



2 thoughts on ““MEMOIR: THE REQUEST”

  1. Such a wonderful, beautifully written article, sookybear. I love you! This is truly one of your best pieces to date. We are very unique, and I love how you write, so very talented, and this piece is full of such touching , sweet sentiments too. Always forever and a day, my sookybear. 121212 . 🙂


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