“I DON’T DESERVE YOU”

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My Twin Flame and I deserve each other.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Twinklebear” is my Twin Flame. That was a comment she made to me recently, but it wasn’t rooted in any sort of inequity between us. Rather, it was stated while she was in the throes of gratitude for the love we have for each other. I could have just as easily have been the one to utter it to her, and it would be the same. We are so lucky to have each other—and we know it! For us to say “I don’t deserve you” is just another way of us saying, “I love you.” It is a declarative statement of emotion.

I love this about us. We find different ways to let each other know how much we appreciate, love and need the other. That is the nature of us being each other’s true “other half,” because we are Twin Flames or “Twin Souls.” The very definition of Twin Souls are are two separate souls that began as a single soul at the beginning of time, whom God cleaved into two, in order to create two people who are exclusively the perfect mate to the other. In secular life, ordinary couples refer to their mates as their “other half,” but only with Twin Souls is this meaning pf the term “other half” literal in nature.

“YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE” 1939
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away…..

This song is so old, but is aptly descriptive of how much I love and need my Twinklebear. The song epitomizes how Twinklebear treats me and affects me. She is my sunshine, the brightness of my every day, ever since we met. She brings joy, light, happiness and laughter into my life. Twinklebear uplifts me. She is the illumination that banishes any darkness in my life.

Twinklebear lifts my spirits.

Please realize how significant the key word in what I just said is. That word is “spirits.” People use this phrase so ubiquitously, that they many may not realize that “spirits” relates to the “spiritual,” which is what the Twin Flame relationship is. The profundity of the word “spirits” in this oft said phrase, is diluted by the frequency of the phrase’s shallow usage in popular culture.

DICTIONARY DEFINITION
SPIRITS: noun. the nonphysical part of a person which is the seat of emotions and character, the soul.

“The soul.” Twinklebear is my Twin Soul, and what she does every single day, is to lift my “soul,” as I do for her as well. That is what Twin Flames do for each other, part of their raison d’etre. To uplift, to carry the soul of one’s Twin to greater heights actually and metaphorically, as if to reach Heaven together more expeditiously. Twin Flames are always striving to re-create that spiritual state when they were but one single soul, whole and loving.

This is what Twinklebear and I do for each other. When life’s disappointments arise for us, we make up for it by not disappointing each other. Rather, we live up to our love for the other. When others we trust betray that positivity we show to them, by paying us back not in kind, but in negativity and drama—our Twin Souls make us “whole” again, by only responding in kind, and kindness.

We make each other whole again.


The Wreck of the Hesperus.

When one of us feels like The Wreck of the Hesperus, the other rights our ship again, making us “whole” again. The light and love from Twinklebear when I’m feeling low, buoys me and keeps me from sinking. I try and do the same for her. That is what true Twin Flame love does, buoys one’s Twin to keep him or her afloat. As Twins, we are each other’s life vests, in life and beyond. Simply put, we make sure the other “is alright.”

We say “I love you” every day to each other, perhaps 20 times a day. Almost as remarkable, is that we repeatedly ask each other every day, “Are you okay?” With our Twin Flame love comes this concomitant concern with the other’s welfare, no surprise given that Twinklebear and I are two halves of the same soul. This ultra caring about the other, is so natural for us, yet far and beyond the concern level among regular (non Twin Flame) couples. It is yet another sign marking us as true Twin Souls.


Twinklbear and I are always worried about the other’s welfare.

So, when one of us says to the other, “I don’t deserve you” or “What did I do to deserve you,” it is another form of “I love you so much” to us. It is an acknowledgment of how much our Twin Flame means to us. Our Twins are the very embodiment of love, caring and need that are so characteristically intense in the Twin Soul relationship.

We deserve each other.

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

“FOUR YEAR RETROSPECTIVE”

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FOUR YEARS AGO: Twinklebear was out with her cousin Eddy.

JULY 2015
Four years ago, Twinklebear was at a pub called the Hollington Oak with her cousin Catherine, who answers to the nickname of “Eddy,” sharing a sneaky little pitcher of Disaronno Breeze with her. Disaronno Breeze is a potent fruity red drink, deceptively disguised by its benign looking mix of Disaronno, vodka, cranberry juice and red currant berries. Before they knew it, they were in a happy mood, so glad to be in each other’s company.

Twinklebear and Eddy have been close ever since birth, more like loving sisters really than cousins. Twinklebear and Eddy are very much on the same frequency, their moods and thoughts aligned by history and genetics, their time together marked by gales of laughter. Because Eddy and my Twin Soul Twinklebear are so close, I also feel close to Eddy. In fact, I sometimes affectionately call her “Cuz.”

Their mood at the Hollington Oak, Disaronno Breeze-lubricated and definitely merry, turned to some wistful, serious talk. My Twin Soul Twinklebear is quite psychic with the ability to envision future events to come, albeit in parable fashion sometimes. There have been many instances of her predicting future events that came true, without any explanation of how she came to know these things. Eddy, familiar with Twinklebear’s strong streak in the predictive spiritual realm, always takes what Twinklebear says with the utmost seriousness. Twinklebear said to Eddy, “I feel like something wonderful is going to happen soon, at least it feels good! Something profound….”

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JULY 2019

It has been four years since Twinklebear and Eddy spent that mellow day at the Hollington Oak, sharing that sneaky pitcher of Disaronno Breeze, hazily musing about the future. I look back at the four years between that day and now, still surprised at all of the wonders that fell my way, thanks to the mesmerizing, loving tsunami named Twinklebear. I will tell you this: unlike Twinklebear, I could not have foreseen our coming together.

After four years with my Twin Flame Twinklebear, I’ve had my share of latent memories of us in past lives–perhaps Twinklebear’s special spiritual powers have rubbed off on me. I’ve been exposed to the inexplicable coincidences between her life and mine, that offer no explanation except the obvious to us now—that we have had past lives together as husband and wife. As husband and wife, Twin Souls reincarnated into this time, we have a track record that encourages retrocognitive visions and dreams. But in July of 2015, I had no idea of how soon and suddenly, I would be drawn into our Twin Flame Vortex, with dizzying intensity at hypersonic speed.


My office in New York in 2015.

In July of 2015, I was the practice manager of an ophthalmology practice in New York City. It was a practice I’d worked in for 27 years, until I left there last year. The last thing on my mind, was of my “Twin Flame.” In fact at that time, I had no idea what a Twin Flame was. I might have described it as a two-burner stove (“hob” in England), if quizzed on the meaning. Furthermore, even if I knew what Twin Flames were, I would have scoffed at the idea, as just so much new age fantasy. I was not a religious person, although I have been known to pray to God in times of distress. I considered myself an agnostic.

US ARMY CHAPLAIN WILLIAM THOMAS CUMMINGS, 1942:
“There are no atheists in foxholes.”

As an agnostic, I was skeptical about the concept of soulmates, let alone the exclusivity that Twin Souls are known for. For Sookybear The Skeptic, “soulmates” represented throwaway lines in Hallmark Cards on Valentine’s Day—a sentimental if silly notion entertained by the gullible. I thought of the concept of soulmates as an opportunity for a neat profit for a corporate entity, once a year. Man, was I in for a surprise!


MY 2015 SURPRISE: Twinklebear not long before we found each other.

Twinklebear and I were introduced to each other, when I recruited her for an internet Alaskan Malamute group I’d formed. I recall the first time I saw photos of her. I was struck by her universal good looks. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I knew she lived in England (I live in New York), I might have characterized her as the “All American Girl.” Flowing blonde hair framing her beautiful face, radiant smile and aqua blue eyes that shone like blue gems—I found her beauty mesmerizing. If there is a thing called “Love at first sight,” I believe that I was a happy victim of this phenomenon. Was I smitten!

My falling head over heels in love with Twinklebear—seemingly immediately without preamble–was further heightened and deepened by my heart’s having been overwhelmed by her bubbly personality, as showcased by her ebullient way of talking. Her comments were full of life, energy and laughter, punctuated by a wicked sense of sarcasm and wit that matched my own, to a “t.”

Oh, yes! Was I in trouble!

Deep trouble as it seems, the kind of deep trouble that symbolizes being crazy-in-love, that one cannot ever extricate oneself from. Ha! Who would want to? It was the type of love that one only reads about in romance novels, and sees in romantic Hollywood films. A love that is unbelievably seductive, all-encompassing and hypnotic. It is the form of love that drives one to Heaven’s Door, or to the brink of insanity if one were ever deprived of it. The good news is, it has remained the same since four years ago, not wavering in its intensity and durability. My heart strings vibrate daily, to the rhythms of Twinklbear’s heart. My emotions follow the trajectory of hers.

Was I ready for this virtual tsunami of love? Is a low lying area of land like New Orleans ever ready for a category 5 hurricane that blows winds of 150 miles per hour, and dumps 40 inches of rain onto it? I think not. Even if I had been psychologically prepared for Hurricane Twin Flame Twinklebear, there is no way I could have anticipated or been ready for the full force of love that descended on me like an avalanche. Nope! I was definitely and happily snowed under, and now four later later—I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The first hint we had that there was something more profound about us, was that our conversation seemed more and more private, even when uttered in the presence of a group of other people. Twinklebear and I seemed to hone in on each other, directed by an undetectable radar and an unerring GPS that was somehow ancient, set to the “Sookybear-Twinklebear Coordinates.” This GPS, this mutual instinct, felt old, old and familiar. Then certain phrases surfaced between us, that also seemed old, familiar and comfortable to use, as if we used to be other people who said them to each other in another life—but recognized and acknowledged by the “current us.”

Out of the blue, Twinklebear and I began addressing each other as if we were married. “Yes, dear!” “And let me tell you another thing!” To the outside ear, these don’t seem significant, but to Twinklebear and I they harken back to an ancient time when we used these very same phrases in a relationship of love and trust. The terminology just seemed to fit the way we felt, which says everything regarding their significance.

And there were familiar old rituals of flirtation such as Twinklebear saying to me in a sultry voice, “Am I now?” This particular phrase may not seem like much to the casual observer, but believe me, the sheer sauciness with which Twinklebear says this to me, is enough to raise my temperature to a Defcon One Level of Love! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Ha!

In retrospect four years sounds like a long time, but it’s but a drop in the bucket compared to the hundreds of years my and Twinklebear’s souls have been in love with each other. This concept may be difficult for mortals like us to wrap our heads around, but we do realize that it does form the very basis for why we feel the way we do. It’s Twin Flame Love, baby!

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way!

“PAEAN TO A 17 YEAR OLD’S SMILE”

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What is life about?

The obvious but glib answer to this most sweeping question asked by humans of themselves is, “It is what it is.” Yet, when all is said and done, if we take regret and wishful thinking (what I call the “woulda, coulda, shoulda factor”) out of it, it may be the most accurate response. It is what it is, no more and no less. If we take a pragmatic view of the question, and boil all of the superfluous elements out of the mix, the essence may indeed consist of, “it is what it is.”

Take the Twin Flame relationship, as an example. Peruse the multitude of Twin Flame internet sites, and they would have you believe that if two Twin Souls who suddenly found the existence of their respective Twins dropped everything else in their lives not relevant to their Twin Flame love, that all would be well. That it would end in a fairy tale or Hallmark car ending.

That would include the proclivity to “run” if one or both Twins aren’t strong or willing enough to withstand the Twin Flame roller coaster. It would include all preexisting conditions and situations of the respective Twins, before they found each other. It would ignore vast differences in the personalities and therefore lifestyles, of the Twins. All of this must be ignored, in order to have that fairy tale ending wanted universally. The wishful thinking represented by ignoring all of these obstacles, is the “woulda, shoulda, coulda factor” I was talking about. Synonymous with this factor set, would be the “if only factor.” Take my Twin Flame, “Twinklebear” and I for example.

Twinklebear and I live in different countries, she in England and I in America. “If only” we were born into and lived in the same place, how much more ideal it would be for us. “If only” we had started out as the ideal married couple before we discovered we were each others Twins, how much easier it would have been. You get the idea. Life is suffused with “if onlys” and “wouldas, couldas, shouldas” and it is more true for Twin Souls than for any other group of lesser couples. That is because Twin Flames have a “spiritual mandate” as each other perfect mates. We’re “supposed” to be together.

The bottom line fact for Twinklebear and I is, our situation is far from ideal. In other words, “it is what it is” when you strip away wishful thinking and futile regret from the equation. In the real world of Twin Flames, the “if onlys” and $2.75 will get you on the bus or subway, but not much more. But here’s the thing about “it is what it is.” Twin Souls have to consider the alternative to “it is what it is,” and believe me, the alternative (at least in my and Twinklebear’s case) is not only repugnant, but it is also impossible to live with.

So gut wrenchingly awful is the alternative—which is not to have what we presently have—that it would kill us. That scenario is so bad, so unthinkable, that it it is like a living suicide, devoid of the love, comfort, emotional, spiritual and sensual attributes that can be only gotten from that one person. That is the other side of the coin of “it is what it is.” For Twin Souls, there exists no substitute for his or her Twin. The Twin is a one-of-a-kind for a Twin Soul, the perfect mate.

You may wonder what all of this philosophy-laden hand wringing has to do with the title of this memoir. It is simply this: when I see my Twinklebear and see her smile or laugh, she looks 17 years old–and I tell her this all the time. Just for the record, I am not a “smiler.” I am introverted to the point where I cannot force or fake a smile, and Twinklebear is the only person in the world that can bring a smile to my lips, and a laugh from my belly just by being herself. Her smile and laugh, and my smile and laugh that follow it, transform us from our chronological ages. We become like the inner children we are, and only can be with each other. Her smile reminds me of how much I love her.

We are so natural with each other, so “ourselves” without self-consciousness, or any deliberate consciousness of it. The child-like innocence we assume with each other is a characteristic of true Twin Flames. A conversation I had with her this morning illustrates this. As I was talking with Twinklebear, she coquettishly tilted her head to the side, subconsciously exposing the side of her neck to me. This is known as “neck exposure” by behavioral scientists. In Neanderthal times, this was a biological sign from the female to invite copulation and procreation, thereby ensuring the survival of the species.

Behaviorists consider “neck exposure” (tilting the head to the side) a classic gesture of female flirting and sensuality. Then she began playing with her hair as she smiled at me. “Hair play” is considered another gesture of female flirting. I said to her, “I love you, you flirt!” She then said innocently to me with absolutely no guile, “Me, flirting? Why do you say that?” She really was unaware of her subconscious gestures. These “gestures” have been studied and catalogued by behavioral scientists, and are well documented. That is how natural we are with each other as Twin Souls.

“My sweet Twinklebear, you are so beautiful when you smile—you look 17 years old. I love you so much”

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

“THE DARK SIDE OF THE TWIN SOULS RELATIONSHIP”

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“Every coin has two sides. Every mountain has a valley. For every strength there is a weakness. Every up has a down. For every in there is an out. For every height there is a depth. Life itself is a mosaic of light and dark. And every human is a study in opposites, a kaleidoscope of good and bad, positive and negative, hopes and losses, dreams and disappointments, successes and failures, courage and fear, confidence and insecurity, power and vulnerability. We do not live in a homogenous world. We live in a world of brilliant contrasts, vivid diversity, striking polarity, and eloquent disparity…a stunning array of sometimes gorgeous, sometimes glaring, always fascinating differences.”

L.R. Knost

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The Twin Flames relationship exemplifies a state of extremes. There are the highest of love emotions, inaccessible in lesser relationships. Yet, there lurk the lowest, most intense feelings of sadness and melancholy, particularly acute when missing one’s Twin Soul. There are the greatest feelings of joy, so overwhelming that they ironically manifest themselves as tears of happiness. Yet, there are the most poignant feelings of regret, leaving the Twins wishing at times for more “normal,” more mundane enjoyment—so volatile are the swings from highs to lows, and vice versa. The human spirit instinctively seeks stability, a homeostasis of harmony.

In the beginning Twin Flame relationship, there is the most riveting emotion of bonding to each other. Yet there is the compelling instinct to flee, so intense are the feelings of connection to each other. There is a feeling of inevitability so strong, that it scares. You might say that this is the “fear of commitment” on steroids. Exacerbating the intensity of the emotions of bonding, is the failure to logically understand these emotions considering the suddenness of their onset. The Twin Souls experience is like nothing humans have ever experienced before they met their respective Twins. This is really the heart and soul, fighting the mind and the mind’s historical reference points of relationships.


Early in my relationship with Twinklebear I wanted to flee.

In the early stage of my relationship with my Twin Soul, “Twinklebear,” it was the suddenness of the onset of our feelings of love and need for each other, that scared me and made me want to flee the situation. The sheer intensity of these feelings, shrouded in the sense of the total loss of control over our destiny, was confusing. There was the “push-pull” dynamic of wanting desperately to flee, counterbalanced by the overwhelming feeling that I could not leave her no matter what. And so, despite attempts to flee, I could not. In this early stage, every time I tried to effect the “push” of leaving, the “pull” of love and need emerged victorious. Resistance was futile!

This is part of the other side of the coin, the dark side of the Twin Flame relationship. This dark side is also contributed to in a major way, by human frailty. Analogously, a “normal” relationship is like a family sedan powered by a 140 horsepower V6 engine. This car is used to trundling along at 50 miles per hour. But ripping out that weakling V6 and stuffing an 800 horsepower V8 engine it’s place, is what it’s like to find your Twin Flame, and being exposed to the unforgiving tsunami of the Twin Souls relationship for the first time. The drivetrain—the transmission, the driveshaft and the rear end that feeds the power to the back wheels of the car—can’t take the extra stress put on it by that super motor. Twinklebear and I can tell you, based on our experiences, that a Twin Flame couple can get used to the speed. But it does take strength of spirit and mind to survive the initial onslaught.

That is what it’s like when a couple is thrust into a Twin Flame relationship. Nothing in their previous experience, has prepared the two for the sheer speed, intensity and inevitability of the Twin Souls relationship. Human emotions and spirit are like that “drivetrain” of that family sedan. The emotions of the “normal” couple were simply not meant to handle the 800 horsepower and 200 mile per hour speeds that the Twin Flames relationship is capable of. God in his wisdom, I believe, chose stout souls that he could split into strong halves of the soul, resulting in two souls who can withstand the speed and pressure of the Twin Souls relationship. But oh, is this strength of the two reunited Twin Flames tested in the early stages!

If the “normal” relationship is like a kiddie merry-go-round, then the Twin Flames relationship is like a runaway roller coaster, whose wheels were greased to the nth degree and the brakes are non-existent. This truly typifies the Twin Flames relationship, in all of its glory. Now that I’ve savored the sweet nectar of my relationship with my Twinklebear, even if I have to occasionally taste the dark side of the coin, I can never leave. It is, and Twinklebear is my life. Twinklebear and I, are truly “forever.” 200 miles an hour and straight ahead Baby! Next stop, eternity!

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forver
12 12 12 in every way

“BILLIONS OF YEARS IN ONE WORD?”

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It is just one word. But in that one word, is the embodiment of perhaps billions of years of my history with Twinklebear. Twinklebear is my Twin Flame love, my other half of the single soul that we were comprised of, before God split us into two at the beginning of time.

In that one word, Twinklebear and I fall into a “comfort zone of memory” possibly billions of years old. It is estimated that the Earth was created 4.54 billions of years ago. I am using poetic license in citing that time 4.54 billions years ago, as the point when time began. This is a conservative estimate, as time probably existed before the Earth was created.

I am using that “4.54 billions of years ago” as an arbitrary guesstimate of when time began, when God split Twinklebear’s and my single soul into two “Twin Souls” as a starting point in this discussion. Hey, the Twin Flame world is not an exact science, okay? So sue me! Ha!

However if I’m going to be practical, then I would have to estimate our history with that “one word” as perhaps 800 years old. Why 800 years? Because Twinklebear and I believe, based on latent memories and retrocognitive dreams and visions, that our earliest past life together as husband and wife took place around 1,200 A.D. in Mongolia.

The question that comes to mind, is did we use that “one word” as part of our dialogue as Twin Souls 4.54 Billions of years ago when time possibly began? Or did Twinklebear and I begin using that “one word” in our secular lives, in our past life in Mongolia? The truth is, I don’t know. What I do know is, that “one word” is a part of us so old, that it is ancient in both it’s usage by us, and in the “comfort” that we find in its utterance. Saying it feels good!


When did Twinklebear begin using that word with me?

That one word is “What?” with a question mark, voiced with cherubic innocence. It all begins in our wonderfully sharp-witted and caustic sense of humor, that is so “us.” It might begin for example, with Twinklebear hitting me with an insulting quip….

TWINKLEBEAR: “You got the half of our soul with the brawn, but I got the half with the brains!”

ME: “You wiseass!”

TWINKLEBEAR: “What?”

An there you see the genius in the last retort of “what?” which feigns ignorance of any insult meant, in the initial insulting quip. It is the pretense of “innocence” that we love so dearly, both in its angelic posing and devilish root. Ha! So funny! What you may not sense, is the indescribable joy and and comfort that we find in doing this ritual with each other, every single day! It is hard to convey to outsiders, how much comfort we derive from playing out this ritual. Twinklebear and I in simple daily exchanges like this, feel emotions so rich in humor and underlying love toward each other. It is in effect, one of our indirect ways of saying, “I love you.”

These exchanges are done by us without any forethought, the ritual is so ingrained in us. Every time a spontaneous exchange like these takes place, it viscerally reminds us of the possible millions of times we performed this rite of love and humor, since the beginning of time. Humorous daily exchanges like this that end up with the inevitable “What?” by one of us, is for us like putting on an old comfortable pair of shoes, so familiar and so loving. With that, I will leave this discussion with….

ME (my eyes roaming down): “Yes, I know—your eyes are up here.”

TWINKLEBEAR: “You bad boy! ‘DONK’ (feigning hitting me on top of the head)”

ME: “What?”

Can you feel the love and the familiarity, that is so old?

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

“TWO SHIPS PASSING IN THE NIGHT?”

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EXCERPTS FROM “SUPERNATURAL” MAGAZINE
by K.J. Hamilton

The topic of twin flames is often misunderstood. There are several websites about this topic, with many definitions, theories, ponderings, ideals and even experiences. Each experience is unique, but it’s also pretty confusing. What are the basic facts? What exactly is a twin flame? When I first learned about my twin flame, I had no idea what that really meant nor had I ever even heard of the concept. And, none of the websites I found really could truly answer even the most basic question without causing me major confusion….I decided to take my questions to spirit and was blessed with answers from the Archangels.

My first three questions: What is a twin flame? What is a soul mate? Are they the same thing? Their answer was pretty simple: no they are absolutely not the same thing. Twin flames (or twin souls) are entirely different. Twin flames are created from one soul, divided into two halves. Everyone has a twin flame, and no one can have more than one. They are the same exact vibration, and often have many common qualities. If both twins happen to be incarnate on the Earth plane simultaneously, there are often common personality traits.

However, it is rare that twin flames are incarnate on the Earth plane at the same time. It is even rarer that twin flames are incarnate together at the same time and are in a relationship with one another. If the twin flames are incarnated at the same time on the Earth plane, they usually will not know each other nor will they even come into contact with one another. Because of their close connection, the twins are often automatically attuned to one another and can experience everything from similar emotions, personality flaws, thought patterns and even abilities.

I never met my twin flame when he was incarnate on Earth. My twin passed away twenty years ago, but I did not learn of him or anything about him being my twin flame until almost seven years ago. Yes, we were incarnate on Earth at the same time, but I knew nothing about him at all. He began to visit me and his presence started me on this spiritual journey of mine…

So, how does one recognize their twin flame? The twin flame experience isn’t the same for every pair of twins. However, there is one commonality that the Archangels pointed out to me. It’s the same for every twin flame: you just know. It may be completely irrational, irritating and mind-boggling, but it’s undeniable. It may make sense to no one else but it doesn’t have to. The souls instantly recognize one another; which is where the knowing originates. It just takes the brain a little while to catch on to that.

They’re connected on a soul level and really don’t need to prove it to anyone. And though each path is different, one thing remains the same: your twin flame is the most powerful, personal and beneficial experience you can possibly have. Your twin flame is the only soul in all of Creation who can be your other half, your exact match. Don’t look for this relationship, it already exists and has existed from the moment you were born. There is no guarantee that your twin chose to incarnate in this lifetime, so don’t look for them. Simply ask for them to appear, and your twin will be revealed to you in a way that your soul will recognize and your brain will accept.

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When Twinklebear and I met in 2015, we subconsciously instantly recognized each other, and we knew. We recognized each other, but as what? We did not know what it meant. It was just a lovely and tantalizing mystery chock full of instant romantic feelings, and other warm emotions that we could not, or dared not name. Like K.J. Hamilton said in her piece, “it took our brains a little while” to accept what it meant. But we knew, nonetheless.

Unlike K.J. Hamilton and her Twin, my Twin Flame “Twinklebear” and I did incarnate on the Earth plane in the same lifetime. Even so, consider the logistical roadblocks that made our meeting each other extremely unlikely. She lived in England and I lived in New York, 3,000 miles away from her. I was unaware of her, and she of me. We did not wish for or anticipate finding our “Twin Flames” because we were ignorant of the concept.

We were like two ships, moored in different docks. She was moored in one of the Cinque Ports in Merrie Olde England, and I was anchored in New York Harbor. Here we were, two ships flying different flags 870 leagues from each other’s bow. How would we ever meet? As perplexing a question was, if we did happen to cross each other’s wake in the ocean between us, would we even know who the other was?


Twinklebear was docked in southeast England. How would I ever come astern of her?

FROM BRITANNICA.COM
“The Concept of Providence is rooted in the belief in the existence of a benevolent, wise and powerful deity. Providence, the quality in divinity on which humankind bases the belief on a benevolent intervention in human affairs.”

Do I believe in a Providence that allowed, nay, designed it so Twinklebear and I would meet? Considering all of the spiritual signs, predictive dreams, retrocognitive dreams, latent memories and coincidences that have shadowed both of us all of our lives, I would say—how could I not believe in “Providence?”

And then Providence intervened.

Providence provided one key element into the mix, that ensured that Twinklebear and I would meet. Inexplicably, besides all the coincidences in our lives (which you would have to explore in previous memoirs to grasp the full extent of the grand Divine Design of it all), Providence somehow arranged for Twinklebear and I to have a mutual in interest in Alaskan Malamutes. We also both owned Alaskan Malamutes.

We were destined to meet in an Alaskan Malamute club that got together online. This was a blatant Providentially designed plan of mutual alignment of interests, that in effect, voided the length, depth and breadth of the Atlantic Ocean. This intervention by Providence “rigged the system” so that Twinklebear and I would not just pass, but meet like two ships in the night.

Just think of the cleverness of the mutual interest in Alaskan Malamutes that Providence had carefully planted in Twinklebear and me. If Twinklebear was interested in English Bulldogs instead of Malamutes, Twinklebear and I never would have met. One simple twist of Fate would have doomed our ever meeting.

In spite of the vast ocean between our ports, Providence with the help of the internet, pushed our ships toward meeting each other. And all it took in the beginning was talking in text and seeing each other’s static photographs at first—for us to subconsciously register that we recognized each other. We knew.

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

“THE SEARCH FOR RELEVANCE”

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Twinklebear is the most relevant entity in my existence, past,
present and future.

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“I’m either a philosopher or a fool.”SCOTT “SOOKYBEAR” WONG

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It turns out that I’m quite the philosopher because I sure ain’t no fool! The subject of “the search for happiness” has cropped up intermittently in my writing. I am now convinced that this search for happiness is a search for one’s relevance to the world and life–and that this “relevance” to life around each of us, and “happiness” are one and the same thing.

I am also convinced that everything humans do, is a search for ways to be more relevant to the world, to those around us and to life in general. This is true whether that consists of riding and loving cars and motorcycles, practicing dance and martial arts, lifting weights or participating in exercise groups. It is all part of an effort to capture or enhance one’s relevance to the world around us.

From a philosophizing point of view, there are two ways to look at existence. There is the “big picture” view, and the “small picture” view. In my writing here in “Twin Flames Forever and a Day,” I employ the “big picture” view, as my relationship with my Twin Flame partner “Twinklebear,” springs from the eternal. Twinklebear and I sprung from the “eternal” as two halves of the single soul that was halved by God at the beginning of time.

Twinklebear and I transcend secular time and extend into the eternal, as we will be Twin Flames for all time and beyond. Beyond the 11th century when we were husband and wife in a past life, beyond 2019 where we are reincarnated as those same two Twin Souls from the 11th century, and beyond the end of life itself.

Before late 2015 when Twinklebear and I miraculously found each other again, I used the “small picture” view of trying to find happiness—which I now recognize as my relevance to life and the world around me. This small picture way of looking at the world and my role in it, appropriately involved “small concerns.” My Harley. My Vette. My photography. My writing. My job. My martial arts school and my students in it. You get the idea. In my life before Twinklebear, there existed for me, no “big picture.”

Then came Twinklebear.

Eschewing any grandiose descriptions, I will simply say that in Twinklebear, I found the happiness—the relevance to life and beyond—that I’d been looking for all these years. I feel that Twinklebear and I had this genetically predetermined need for each other baked in, as we are made of the same Soul DNA material. On the cellular level, even though we were not conscious of it at a cerebral level—we each had been searching for the “relevance of our other half”—for the world to make sense to us.

Now that we have found each other, the relevance circle has closed once again, even though in many ways it made secular life more complicated than previously. This was a loop that had to close for us to realize and achieve our relevance to the Universe—the way it was when we were One Soul before the beginning of time. I guess I am a philosopher after all. Ha!

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

“DAY IN AND DAY OUT”

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Twinklebear and I have amazing consistency.

Take away the fact that you know Twinklebear and I are “Twin Flames,” with all that implies in terms of eternal togetherness. Remove from your mind, our talk of the intensity and depth of our love for each other. Put aside what you know didactically about what Twin Flame relationships are supposed to be. If we take a bare bones look at what our relationship has been and is, here is the essence that you are left with:

Amazing and unrelenting consistency.

Doesn’t sound as fancy or romantic as the rest of it, does it? Yet, this stripped down perception of what Twinklebear and I have, may have greater meaning than all of the flowery Twin Flame prose with regard to what we are. It also enlightens as to the longevity of what we are. “Practical reality” may inform and signal “spiritual truth.”

Such a bare bones look demands that one pay tremendous respect for our very base, our rock-like foundation, which ultimately does justify the Twin Flame imagery that we’ve just discarded for our “bare bones look.” And that is the point. So, what is the point? And what is it that we are unfailingly consistent about? It is remarkably simple and straightforward.

Day in and day out, we remain the same with respect to needing to be with each other.

And when we cannot be together due to schedules and daily life obligations, we need to be intimately aware of where the other is. We make it our business to be totally open and complete with respect to informing the other, as if this keeps us close spiritually, no matter what the other is doing. We need to know what our other half is doing. In our case, the term “other half” is meant as literally as is possible.

And we have been so, ever since we “reunited” as Twin Flames three and half years ago. What this clearly shows is that what we are and we have, is no fad, not infatuation, and is something soul-deep—and this shows by its unambiguous depth, breadth and persistence. We need each other every day, day in and day out without respite. It reeks of the endlessness, a deep well of need and love that has no bottom. All this from 3,000 miles away from each other. And it is this last point that makes it so remarkable, and “superreal.”

Delete from the equation, our seamless compatibility. Ignore our innately totally open sexuality and sensuality that we have. Pay no attention to our profound knowledge of each other as reincarnated husband and wife from past lives. Pay no heed to the list of proven ways that Twinklebear and I know that we are Twin Flames. Take all of this way from view, and what do we have?

We have left, a burning and unending desire to be with each other always, that makes the absence of the other for short periods of time due to conflicting schedules, painful. But in the end, this one consistency we have, does signal that we are Twin Flames. I’m afraid there is no getting around that, no matter how much stripping away of the layers of Twin Flame meaning we unfold, from the essence. And this “essence” is that we must have each other day in and day out. Period.

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I love you, Twinklbear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

“ROYAL ASCOT LADY”

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Twinklebear: Royal Ascot Lady.

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ANONYMOUS POET 1823

“Ladies’ Day…when the women, like angels, look sweetly divine.”

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This is Royal Ascot Week in England, when Ascot in Berkshire hosts a week of thoroughbred horse races. Today is the third day of Royal Ascot Week and ever since that anonymous poet made his 1823 poetic pronouncement, the third day of the week has been known as “Ladies’ Day.”

Ascot Racecourse was founded by Queen Anne in 1711. Although Ascot held races from that time, it wasn’t until 1911 that it was expanded into what is now known as Royal Ascot Week. Traditionally, Royal Ascot Week takes place during the third week of every June—and has become the centerpiece of Ascot’s year. Over the years Royal Ascot Week has been associated with the trappings of the Royals, when the Queen and her family attend every year.

In the popular culture if it is at all possible, Royal Ascot Ladies’ Day has become the shining exemplar of the Royal Ascot, overshadowing the rest of Royal Ascot in the minds of the public. Every year, lovely ladies from around the world attend Royal Ascot to show their sartorial splendor.

This year my Twin Flame love Twinklebear, decided to go to Ladies’ Day to witness all the pomp and circumstance that surrounds this populist day during Royal Ascot Week. With all of the glitz and glamour that Ladies’ Day is famous for, I’m not even sure if Twinklebear will watch any races. I believe this may be the first horse race event she will have attended, but am uncertain how she will perceive the horse racing, as she is such a conscientious animal lover, and protector of animals’ welfare. She also has no interest in gambling, which really underpins horse racing.

She is now making the trip to Ascot with some of her lady friends. I am always awed by how lovely Twinklebear is, and perhaps it is based of me to state that I absolutely believe that she will be the most beautiful woman at the event, bar none. I often call her my “Viking Princess” as her appearance would suggest Scandinavian blood in her familial background.

It is well known that the Vikings began invading England in the 8th century. In today’s popular culture, the true adventures of Ragnar Lodbrok from that time, are memorialized in the “The Vikings” television series. By the late 9th century, the Vikings had overrun most of England.

No doubt, many of today’s blonde British beauties like my Twinklebear, can credit their stunning beauty to the intermingling of the Vikings with Anglo-Saxons of the early centuries. This reminds me of some interesting remarks I recently read, from an article in The Spectator magazine titled, “I thought I was British. Until I Took A DNA Test” by Anthony Whitehead…..

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“A declaration of nationality is a profound statement. To say ‘I am British’ suggests that somehow I am composed of Britishness — that my fabric, my very being, is British. Except I personally, apparently, am not particularly British. The results are back from my DNA ethnicity test….How do I feel about my nationality now?

I am fair-haired….so a Viking forebear is an exciting thought. I am already feeling….more international than I did. The things we associate with passport nationality, my cultural loyalties and sense of identity have shifted. In particular, DNA provides a new way of telling you who you are. In…England we seem confused about this. As we find ourselves in the midst of one of history’s great migrations, it seems likely that angst about identity is only going to increase — and if the EU referendum proved anything, it is that people in Britain feel very differently indeed about who they are….

My DNA was compared with that of others on Ancestry’s database and as a result I have now been put in touch with some 150 people throughout the world who have sections of DNA which match my own. Some use the site to post online profiles, and some include thumbnail photos of themselves. My jaw dropped when I clicked on Mark from Pennsylvania. He looks like me. Pattie from California could be my younger sister.”

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Aside from being coined “Ladies’ Day” by that anonymous poet in 1823, today’s Ladies’ Day harkens back to a time when Royal Ascot Week was a male-dominated event, when women were given discounts for admission, or allowed in for free. The gendered pay-scale disappeared with time, but Ladies’ Day became more entrenched as a viable institution on the third day of Ascot Week. Ultimately, more women attended dressed to the nines as a tradition—and Ladies’ Day became in effect, a glamour day out for ladies. Amazingly, Ascot does not officially recognize Ladies’ Day.

Ladies’ Day is a truly populist event.

It will be quite a day at Ascot today, and quite a Ladies’ Day! Imagine masses of splendidly attired women converging on this hamlet, wearing outfits from mild to wild, and you have an idea of what Ladies’ Day is like. Then imagine if you will, my Twinklebear in her splendiferous oufit—arriving like a royal princess herself.

My Viking Princess.

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I love you, Twinklbear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way

“BLUE TURQUOISE”

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Twinklebear’s blue turquoise eyes.

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SHAKESPEARE SAYING INSPIRED BY MATTHEW 6:22-23
“Eyes are the window to the soul.”

FROM A SPIRITUAL WEBSITE
“Typically when we make eye contact with someone, we turn away after a few seconds. With your twin flame, you can keep eye contact for what feels like “forever” without feeling any awkwardness. They say eyes are the gateway to the soul, and because your twin flame’s soul is reflecting part of you back at you, you can easily look into their eyes for long periods of time. You may find it difficult to keep your eyes off of each other beyond just physical attraction/lust.”

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“Twinklebear” is my Twin Flame love, and wife from past lifetimes, in which we lived and loved together. When I look into her blue turquoise eyes, I feel the love, lust and loyalty that comes from my genetically hardwired alpha masculinity, built upon thousands of years. On the surface level, she moves me to want her, and I do in every sense of the word. Just thinking about her, as I am doing now, moves me to want her, to lust after her, to love her deeply, with a turgidity spontaneously achieved. A turgidity palpable and sensitive to thought input. All this, I feel when I look into, or even think about her blue turquoise eyes.

The eyes are the windows to the soul.

And there you have it. You have the answer to this hypersensitivity I have toward my beloved Twinklebear. When I look into her blue turquoise eyes, or merely think of them and her, I am drawn in. Drawn into her very soul, which is the same soul DNA as mine, as we are of and from the same soul material. When I look into her blue turquoise eyes, or even think of them, I want to be in her, on her and with her. Such is the power of the soul connection with one’s soul Twin. The lust is palpable, and never ending. The love is forever, enduring the absence of each other for perhaps centuries at a time, until we found each other again in 2015.

When we are away from each other, “I miss you” is inadequate. When we are away from each other, particularly if I don’t know precisely where she is, I suffer the same angst of the Mongol warrior I was over thousand years ago, when she was taken from me. Liam Neeson has nothing on me! When I look into her blue turquoise eyes, or even think of them, I harken back to a time when I said….

“I don’t know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you. And I will bring my Twinklebear home.”

It is no mere coincidence that for decades before Twinklebear and I found each other again, that I trained in the arts of violence and killing. I not only trained in these arts, I taught them with a voraciousness that bespoke of a need to maim and kill. My martial arts students were taught to have a killer instinct, one that I honed in myself, that left no room for mercy. I was formed and therefore destined, to be a warrior, genetically hardwired from a thousand years ago when I needed all the killer instinct I had, to find and save Twinklebear (read “He Was Asian And Wore All Black”).

When I look into her blue turquoise eyes, I am reacting not merely to the normal beauty of them, I am sensing and truly seeing the “Soul That Is Twinklebear,” that she is and was since time immemorial. I am seeing and sensing a time when her eyes were brown and dark, but no less beautiful or enticing. Beyond that, I am seeing past her given name of this lifetime. That given name, is but a way-stop in the space and time continuum of our Twin Flame Journey. I can’t remember a time when I last called her by her given name. Her given name is a foreign, semi-real name. Her true name is “Twinklebear”—for all time.

Just as my true name is Sookybear, and not “Scott.” I can only recall one instance when Twinklebear called me “Scott” and when she did, I felt inwardly offended, as if I was being called by a false name. I believe that our “nicknames” of Twinklebear and Sookybear, are our true names, the only names that matter. I know this, and feel this. I also know and feel, that Twinklebear knows and feels that her given name is a temporary name.

It is a mysterious thing, although she and I can understand it. When I look into her blue turquoise eyes, I am seeing past them into the soul of The One I loved a thousand years ago, and beyond to the beginning of time. When I listen to Twinklebear talking, I hear the words that bore a different sound, and spoke a different language than English. When she and I gaze intently into each other’s eyes, we wish we could look without the interruption of “life as it is” now, for the pleasure and attraction is endless, and satisfying emotionally.

Eyes are the window to the soul.

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I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way

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