Click here for home


It is a well documented fact, that twin flames have an innate knowledge of their partners, with no rational way to explain it. This knowledge only partially comes from intelligent thought and analysis.

It just is.

While smart people can discern certain facts by deductive reasoning, the absolute feeling (that may be described as “knowledge” in this case) that a twin flame possesses about his or her partner, is attributable to the strong spiritual connection that twin flames have.

However, there are highly spiritual people who have great premonitory powers, irrespective of whether or not they are one half of a twin flame relationship. My beautiful twin flame love, “Twinklebear” is one of these.

Twinklebear has a long history dating to childhood, of being able to have visions or predictive dreams, of events that are yet to happen. Let me give you an example of her premonitory prowess. This example does illustrate, how indirect or “symbolic” premonitory visions or dreams can be.

There was a woman Twinklebear attended church with, whose teenage daughter Twinklebear had a vision about. In her vision, she saw the woman’s daughter in a white car, waving goodbye. Twinklebear related this vision to the woman. Two weeks later, the girl and three teen boys were killed in a car crash. The car they were killed in, was white.

In our case, Twinklebear has the more than the usual predictive feelings with respect to me, because we are twin flames. Due to our close twin flame connection, she does know things about me before I know them. I believe this is a function of her innate predictive talent, augmented by our twin flame relationship.

I am just home from having a hip replacement surgery. The need for this surgery was precipitated by a fracture I had in the hip, unknown to me. It was unknown to me, until the pain one day a week and half ago, rose to intolerable levels. I thought it might have been a severe groin muscle pull.

The hip fracture was confirmed in the hospital emergency room I was taken to. After x-rays were done, a nurse said to me, “It’s a good thing you came in.”

Now, I have had pain in this hip since the 1990s, when it was known that I had arthritis in it. The pain has been mild until that day a week and half ago, when it escalated to a level 10. How bad was it? I could not walk. This is the reason I needed a hip replacement.

Sometime ago, perhaps a few months ago, Twinklebear thought that the pain I had was more than mere arthritis. She said….

“Sookybear, I feel that the pain you have may be a hairline fracture in your hip.”

I really didn’t think there was much merit to her contention that it might be a fracture, instead of the arthritis. After all, I’ve had pain in this hip for years. Guess what?

She was right!

Once again, she was able to predict events in my life to happen, before they have. There are other examples of her being able to intuit things that have happened to me, like my sudden retirement. Twinklebear is amazing!


I love you Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



Click here for home.



In 1776, whether you were declaring America independent from the crown or swearing your loyalty to King George III, your pronunciation would have been much the same. At that time, American and British accents hadn’t yet diverged. What’s surprising, though, is that Hollywood costume dramas get it all wrong: The Patriots and the Redcoats spoke with accents that were much closer to the contemporary American accent—than to the Queen’s English.

It is the standard British accent that has drastically changed in the past two centuries, while the typical American accent has changed only subtly.

Traditional English, whether spoken in the British Isles or the American colonies, was largely “rhotic.” Rhotic speakers pronounce the “R” sound in such words as “hard” and “winter,” while non-rhotic speakers do not. Today, however, non-rhotic speech is common throughout most of Britain. For example, most modern Brits would tell you it’s been a “hahd wintuh.”

It was around the time of the American Revolution that non-rhotic speech came into use among the upper class in southern England, in and around London. According to John Algeo in “The Cambridge History of the English Language” (Cambridge University Press, 2001), this shift occurred because people of low birth rank who had become wealthy during the Industrial Revolution were seeking ways to distinguish themselves from other commoners; they cultivated the prestigious non-rhotic pronunciation in order to demonstrate their new upper-class status.

“London pronunciation became the prerogative of a new breed of specialists — orthoepists and teachers of elocution. The orthoepists decided upon correct pronunciations, compiled pronouncing dictionaries and, in private and expensive tutoring sessions, drilled enterprising citizens in fashionable articulation,” Algeo wrote.

The lofty manner of speech developed by these specialists gradually became standardized — it is officially called “Received Pronunciation” — and it spread across Britain. However, people in the north of England, Scotland and Ireland have largely maintained their traditional rhotic accents.

Most American accents have also remained rhotic, with some exceptions: New York and Boston accents have become non-rhotic. According to Algeo, after the Revolutionary War, these cities were “under the strongest influence by the British elite.”


I am American and my beloved twin flame “Twinklebear” is English. One of our standard jokes is when I say to her….

“Twinklebear, I have to teach you how to speak proper Queen’s English!”

Ha! It turns out, I was right! Who knew? As you saw from the Live Science excerpt, it has been the British accent that has changed—while the American accent has not. I’m feeling like such a distinguished English Lord! My God! Knight me now! Hey, that’s “Sir Sookybear” to you, suckah!

I guess I should be grateful that we New York colonists arrived in NYC in 1664, before our English cousins in London and Hastings, decided to make wholesale changes to the way English sounds! So funny! Ha! Right now, Twinklebear is winding up her Donking Rolling Pin, to give me a hahd donk to my head!


Speaking seriously though, Twinklebear and I find it endlessly fascinating how different our accents are. This is constant source of kidding and teasing the other, although we each find the other’s accent and idioms exotic and interesting. An example of this, is how we pronounce “news.” She will say to me….

“its funny the fast way you say it, like a New Yawk gangstuh….’Nooz‘…you say it with real attitude.”

And I will point out the charming way that she draws out the syllable….


This interchange is usually followed, by us comically trying to imitate the other’s accent. Our conversations are so interesting and fun! So funny!

One of the most fun things about our exhilirating brand of humor, is the constant ribbing and teasing we do to the other. Generally speaking, we are both huge devotees of the Sarcastic School of Humor! We find it intellectually stimulating, as teasing the other takes real thought. Ha! It is so sharp sometimes, that it borders on the fringes of insult humor. We love it!

Hey Twinklebear—rhotic this—okay? Ha!


Owwww! Hey Twinklebear, put that rolling pin down!


I love you Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



Click here for home

TWINKLEBEAR: I love my brat!



Parents tend to let things slide once the last child comes along — they aren’t nervous, first-time parents anymore. As a result, lastborns usually do get away with more than their siblings do. They shoulder less responsibility, so they tend to be more carefree, easygoing, fun-loving, affectionate, and sociable, and they like to make people laugh.” Just see if your youngest assumes the role of class clown someday.

But being the youngest isn’t all roses. Because lastborns view their older siblings as bigger, faster, and smarter, they may attempt to differentiate themselves by being more rebellious. “Lastborns have an ‘I’ll show them’ attitude.” And if older siblings baby the baby, lastborns might be spoiled and manipulative. This is why lastborns are considered the proverbial brats.


The fun factor!

Something you never hear about in treatises on twin flames. My twin flame relationship with Twinklebear is particularly joyous. There is a specialness to our love, which is rooted in not only the fact that we are twin flames, but also the fact that we are both the lastborns in our families. The positive effect of the latter should not be underestimated.

What this combination does, is to emphasize the unadulterated childlike joy, that is found only in childhood. As Thomas Wolfe said, you can’t go home again. Usually once experienced, it can never be found again. Unless, both twin flames in a relationship are the lastborns of the family.

As lastborns before we met (or rather, reincarnated and reunited, since we were spouses in past lives), we each had reputations in our respective families, as holy terrors in our childhood years. The family lores in our families, are rife with anecdotes regarding our infamous spoiled brat behavior.

But, as with all childhood behavior, our brattiness subsided as we grew up and pursued responsible, adult lives. As it should be. Then, a seismic event took place, and the world order of Twinklebear’s and my joy quotient was rocked to its core.

Twinklebear and I met.

Our meeting, or more accurately our reunification, took place in late 2015. The result was a reversion to the type of innocent joy that one can only experience as a child.

We immediately recognized this childlike quality in each other, which colors our unique humor, unconditional trust and ability to truly be ourselves with each other. I believe this set us apart from other twin flame couples in a fundamental way, and gave us an advantage in the fun factor department.

The difference maker, perhaps not available to most other twin flames couples, is that we are the lastborns—the “babies” of our families

It is possible that we did not have this “lastborn advantage” in our past lives as husband and wife. In this life, fortunately, we were reincarnated as the lastborns of our families. In practical terms, what does this really mean?

In short, we can be absolute brats with each other!

Ah, so nice to let one’s hair down so to speak, and be oneself, finally! And we can do this with each other in a truthful manner, which we cannot do with others in our orbits.

Twinklebear and I can whinge and whine, and feign anger, simply because we know each other so well, that we do not take offence.

(Just an interesting aside. I am Yank and Twinks is a Brit. I’ve become used to thinking in both “Yankspeak” and “Britspeak” as I write. In the U.S. the word is spelled “offense” and in England it is “offence.” It is interesting that I just spelled offence with a “c” the Brit way without a second thought. This shows how well trained Twinklebear has me. Ha! Yes dear! “RUNNING!”)

We can carry on being mutual brats, and we take it with a grain of salt and find profound humor in it. Twinklebear and I have a unique humor that resonates in a narrow frequencey of each other’s soul and mind. In absolute jocularity but pure honesty, we can say to the other….

“Waaaaaa! I want my (insert “Twinklebear” or “Sookybear” here) ! And I want you now! Waaaaa!”

Ha! So funny! Going from adulthood to bratty in one second flat! We love it! While there is humor in this exaggerated behavior, there is also nugget-hard at its core, a kernel of truth. We truly do want each other, now and no later! Hey, we “babies of the family” have no patience, ya know?

In the twin flame relationship, all the emotions are high intensity to begin with. Add in the spice of both twins being lastborns, and—look out! The fire licks of exaggerated emotions of extreme joy, love, humor and disappointment found with twin flames, are fanned even higher when the twins in questions are the “babies of the family.” Ha! So much fun!

Admittedly back in 2015 when Twinklebear and I are were both “conditioned adults” and unaccustomed to being so true to our inner child selves, we occasionally got angry with each other’s bratty behavior. Yet the behavior was so natural, as we instinctively knew that the other would recognize it as “us”–that we accepted the brattiness as part of our destined process.

Speaking for myself, I didn’t know what to make of Twinklebear’s sudden turns to “brathood” and change of mood. But I also knew that I was doing the same thing, which really freaked me out!

We soon recognized what a pure and unadulterated show of our true and innocent selves, to each other. Now we treasure this behavior, and can laugh at it. It is so great!

I love my brat, my Twinklebear!

Twin Brats Forever, Twin Doodles Forever!


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



Click here for home

TWINKLEBEAR AND I: We make each other smile on sight.


This memoir wasn’t supposed to be written, because of interruptive events. The entire focus of what this memoir was supposed to be about, was ravaged by unfortunate events. Yet somehow, like a nascent newborn refusing to be unborn, this memoir fought its way to the surface, breathing hard, gasping for air, yet alive! Twinklebear, this memoir is dedicated to the way you make me smile unceasingly, laugh uproariously and reflect profoundly. I love you forever and a day.


Three days ago, just as I started to write this memoir, I received a call from my Twin Flame “Twinklebear.” I answered.

“Sookybear, it’s me. I tripped on some sunken, uneven pavement, and hit my head on the ground. It really hurts! I’m in the hospital waiting for a CAT scan!”

Oh my God! Can you say zero to “state of shock” in 1 second flat?

I was was speechless for a moment. Then I asked what happened.

That day, Twinklebear had gone shopping with Dawn, a friend. They were finishing up their “retail therapy” when the accident happened. The photo of Twinklebear above, was taken minutes before her fall, the “ecstasy before the agony.” She then divulged what had caused her fall.

Twinklebear stepped onto a segment of pavement (“pavement” is the British equivalent of “sidewalk” in the U.S.), that was recessed a couple of inches lower than the tarmac around this sunken pavement. Due to the disparity of heights, a two inch lip of raised tarmac surrounded this pavement. You know where I’m going with this, don’t you?

Her foot caught on the raised tarmac lip, and she took a head dive into the ground!

Twinklebear was so surprised by the suddenness of tripping on this raised pavement, that she wasn’t prepared to break her fall with her arms. As a result, she cracked her forehead on the ground. She was knocked out for a few seconds.

Luckily, the exam and CAT scan didn’t show any broken bones. She did have a black eye, however, and some swelling of her face. Awwww, my poor Baby! My sweet Twinklbear is mending nicely, but did suffer a concussion, so she is experiencing the headaches, dizziness and nausea that routinely follow a concussion.

There is a backstory to this memoir, and that is that just a week prior to Twinklebear’s accident, I was discharged from the hospital myself. In my case, I went to the emergency room for an infection on my leg. I was treated with intravenous antibiotics, kept overnight for observation, and discharged the next day.

Within the span of a couple of weeks, Twinklebear and I underwent what seemed to be a whirlwind of negativity.

So, I suppose that this memoir is really about how supportive we are to the other, when unfortunate events happen. And we do support each other unconditionally.

You might have noticed that the title of this memoir is, “You Make Me Smile.” That was to be the sole focus of this memoir, before I was waylaid by that awful call Twinklebear made three days ago from the hospital. In fact, I wasn’t even planning to write the rest of this memoir beyond the title, until Twinklebear is much better a week from now.

But, I realized that Twinklebear and I have those special, high-intensity empathic abilities with each other, characteristic of Twin Flames—which convinced me that I had to write about how we “make each other smile,” in spite of the dodgy (I love these Britcentric words!) circumstances. Let me explain.

Twin flames can—and this is what “empathic” means—feel and share the other’s pain and other emotions. This makes being someone’s “twin” a high intensity experience, because one feels the actual emotions of the other twin. That is heavy duty, man! It is like fitting ten pounds of emotion, into a five pound bag.

When people are twin flames, the twins feel in a truly heartfelt way, a way that cannot be faked, empathy and sympathy for the other. After my ordeal with being in the hospital and after Twinklebear’s being in the hospital, we felt snd shared each other’s bad experience super personally. This is what twin flames do.

When Twinklebear and I share our feelings like this, our communication represents healing on a soul and cellular level. The experience of feeling this internal healing when Twinklebear and I interact face to face, is supremely intimate and primal. Our souls are a salve to the other.

When we support each other in this manner, our talks are a method of normalizing the other. In twin flame parlance, this means that whatever bad emotions are felt by one, the intercession of the other twin by presence alone, makes these negative emotions dissipate. The conversations between twin flames, are cathartic and therapuetic In short…..

We make each other smile on sight.

Sometimes we talk for five hours straight. During that time, I might possibly smile and laugh more, than the previous 40 years of my life. That is no exaggeration. When I see my Twinklebear, I smile, and keep smiling. It is like a “twin flame reflex,” a function of my “twin flame autonomic response.” That is the best way I can put it. Smiling and laughing when I am with Twinklebear, is as automatic as breathing. It requires no thought, or motivation. It just is.

So, my leg is healing. Twinklebear’s face is healing. Yet, we can’t help but smile and laugh with each other, unceasingly and maddeningly consistently, and it has been this way since Day One in late 2015.


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way




EVER AMAZING: How Twinklbear and I instantly “ignited.



There was a time I thought I knew
True love and its ramifications
I subscribed and stayed true
Followed the rules and regulations


Like most folks who think they know
Took it for granted, put the idea to bed
Going about my business, giving it cred
I discovered later, I knew it in my head


Instead of completely feeling it in my heart
I discerned the difference by fateful fiat
When I met her and found I already knew her
Was blindsided by instant love-lock


It was my heart that was the closed lock
She had the key to reveal wide open
Filling the chambers and leaving me in shock
Leaving me desperate and fingers groping


Desperation penetrated us both
To a wanting we did not understand
All we sensed or seemed to know
We had to have each other’s hand


The act of groping, fighting to be as one
Was brick solid in spite of confusion
The forces driving us very poorly known
The only certainty was needed love collusion


Like a lovely arrow shot through my heart
She said, “The only man I ever really loved”
Plucked at my heart strings vulnerable to her
It reminded me of what I know of my beloved


Yes “minor details” get in the way
That do nothing to alter the truth
That she is the only one I ever truly loved
In the complete way, that we do


Previous “love” for us pales by comparison
Black and white copies of our real thing
The full color saturation of our love’s illumination
In living color, with no fading of the shining


After I wrote this poem, my Twin Flame “Twinklebear” said to me….

“It was as if when we first met, my Sookybear, we instantly ignited.

How true. We still find it astonishing, how there wasn’t a normal “getting to know you” period after we met. As I said in the poem, “…I met and found that I already knew her.”

It was as if we were a fully-formed romantic couple immediately, with subliminally known traditions, inside jokes and ease of compatibility. It was a case of “Been here, done this.” It was as if we were subconsciously saying….

“My God! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you! I’ve missed you so much! I love you!”

Twinklebear and I then fell into our “old” (for it seemed that we’d done this before, forever) routine of being together every day since that first day two and a half years ago. It was as if one of us had gone for a few days’ holiday, and we were getting back to our everyday life without missing a beat. Truly amazing in retrospect!

Twinklebear has been the more spiritually aware of us (see previous installments discussing her paranormal gifts), and she was way ahead of me with respect to “recognizing” me and what we were and are.

This is all very clear to us now, but back then without any conscious analysis of what this unusual behavior meant, it just seemed preternaturally right for us to be this way.

This is not say that we considered our instantly absolute familiarity with each other, “normal.” Far from it. We were frankly, stupefied by the whole thing. We didn’t question the “rightness” of it, but we did think we were possibly insane.

I’ll tell ya one thing. The inexplicably intense feelings of love and need we experienced was driving us insane, until we came to a better understanding of what it all meant.

Was it possible for two individuals from different parts of the world (She is English and I am an American) who have never met, to suffer the same demented delusion that we were once and forever husband and wife, and act like it from “day one?” It is so amazing to think of this in a clearheaded way, two and half years later!

This objectivity was impossible for us when we first met. Back then, there was only “The Urgency.” The Urgency was the high intensity feeling of….

“I know you are mine but don’t know how to say it this early, but I have to have you. You are mine!”

I am not exaggerating when I state this. For my part, I had the most primal urges immediately about Twinklebear upon meeting her. I was ready to physically beat down other males for her hand, and would do anything to win her. Because I “knew” that she was mine.

At the time, I didn’t question how I knew this, I just knew. It was insane! But it was what it was, and I was powerless to fight the insistent tide of time, fate, and the history that Twinklebear and I shared before.

Oh my God, what an emotionally turbulent time that was then. I felt like my world was on fire! There was no time to relax, no room for complacency. I could not afford to say “So what” if things didn’t go well for us. I only knew that I had to right things, to make her mine again—like I knew she was before. Nothing less would do.

I know for a fact that Twinklebear also felt this strange but wonderful conundrum. What did it all mean, this intense struggle to recreate then, what we had “before?” What the hell did “before” mean, for we’d just met? We somehow knew, that there was a “before” but did not know what that meant. It was weird, but felt wonderful and somehow “right.”

It made no sense then, but we weren’t running on common sense and rationality. We were running on an insane diet of 1000 horsepower-inducing nitromethane fuel, and we were moving at light speed to being irrevocably, crazy-in-love in three seconds flat!

Who wants to be comfortable anyway, when you can have a love so rich, so full, so rewarding—that the rest of life seems drab by comparison? Not me.

Twinklebear is the only woman I ever really loved.

Twinklebear and I were reborn in late 2015. Reborn in the sense, that we were reunited after being reincarnated after who knows how many centuries passed since we were husband and wife in a previous life. Latent memories, visions and recurrent dreams (sorry, you’ll have to read previous memoir installments about these) suggest that our last previous life together, took place in the 13th century A.D., probably in Mongolia.

Is it any wonder that we were reborn with a full set of latent memories, visions and recurrent dreams of that past life? That explains our instant familiarity with each other right away. As Twinklebear said, “We instantly ignited.”

That instant ignition of a love known and remembered from centuries ago, burns hot and bright once again.

It is so wonderful to relive those early days of late 2015 and early 2016, for it highlights the magnitude and magic of what happened. The way I love, and am “in love” in the most magical, “Hollywood way” with my Twinklebear, is a theme worth revisiting, time and time again. Because the perpetual crazy-in-love feeling I have for her, is a once in an eternity event.


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way




TWINKLEBEAR AND I: Telepathic twin flames.



Twin lame telepathy is incredibly amazing. Most people who have met their twin flame speak of an uncanny thought process that keep them in the loop with each other. Sometimes a twin can be thinking of calling her twin flame, and right about when she is about to pick up the phone and call him, the phone rings and it is him. This can occur at the most unsuspected moments. There should be absolutely no surprise that this happens, because at core soul level, you are one despite any earthly afflictions or differences that you both may feel you have.

Twin flame telepathy is often very astonishing for people that have never encountered this type of connection before, because it is so intense and encompassing, people often chalk it up to coincidence. Twin flame telepathy is like a wireless electronic connection, that connects instantly when you have the right password. In this instance, the password is the grid that both your souls are locked into.


ME: “I just…”

TWINKLEBEAR: “I love being with you too!”


In our conversation yesterday, as soon as I finished saying, “I just…”—Twinklebear said without missing a beat—“I love being with you too!”

Twinklebear is my twin flame love. By this installment of my memoir series, you know what “twin flames” are all about.

This sort of uncanny thing happens to Twinklebear and me all the time and it is so common with us that we hardly ever discuss it, except to casually remark in passing, “Wow, another ACC.”

“ACC” is our own personalized code for these examples of our telepathy. It stands for “anam cara coincidence.” We began using using this code very early on, when we referred to ourselves as “anam cara.” This was before we finally understood what twin flames are, and that we are twin flames.

However, in spite of our continued use of the “ACC” acronym, there is nothing at all “coincidental” about these telepathic events. These are examples of the telepathy that is characteristic of twin flames.

There are no coincidences in the twin flame world.

And so it was true of this incident yesterday. This time we took the time to examine it and discuss it. I said to Twinklebear….

“Do you realize what just happened? I was about to say, ‘I just love being with you!’ and before I could get the rest of my sentence out, you said, ‘I love being with you too!’ Amazing!”

Twinklebear agreed. That’s when I told her I was going to write a memoir about our twin flame telepathy. Twin flame telepathic events like this, are also called “synchronicity of thought” between twin flames. These events that are experienced by Twinklebear and me on a regular basis, can take certain forms.

It can take a form like yesterday’s, where one of us starts a sentence to express a thought, and without a clue as to what the completed thought was supposed to be, the other twin voices the completed thought.

As often, we actually speak the same sentence, word for word, at the same time. That is simply astonishing when it happens, although we’ve become jaded by its regularity. It is such a common occurrence.

In the twin flame world, what is unnatural, becomes completely natural for the twins.

I believe that the most common form of telepathic event for Twinklebear and me, is when one of us simply thinks something, and then the other says that which is being silently thought. After the thought is expressed by one of us, the other will exclaim, “I was just thinking that!”

Telepathy between us also overlaps into the area of empathy, the ability to actually feel the emotions of the other while apart. Anxieties of one of us that causes sleeplessness, can result in a similarly sleepless night in the second twin. The inexplicable sudden onset of fear, sadness, melancholy, can occur in one of us, that mirrors what the other is feeling at the time.

One area of emotions of twins that can be telepathically noted and mirrored, is sexuality. One characteristic trait of twin flames is that they are so in tune sexually, in an intimate and intense manner. Twinklebear and I agree that the openness and flawless meshing of our sexuality, is something we have never experienced before with other partners. Our sexual compatibility is amazing.

MIDND READER: When I stare at her she knows what I’m thinking. Ha!

Our sexual familiarity and comfort with each other, is rooted in our past lives (we are reincarnated twin flames who were husband and wife in past lives). This “knowing” of each other, so complete, so warm and so uninhibited, is truly a case of “us” resuming what we had before, in previous lives

As an example of this familiarity and “knowing” of each other so well, based on earlier earthly iterations of us, is when I stare hungrily at Twinklebear, who is so hot. I can read her mind as she smiles at me slyly at times like these, and like the clairvoyant twin flame I am, I say to her….

“I know what you’re thinking, Twinklebear. You’re thinking, ‘Hey! My eyes are up here, you bad boy!’ Ha!”



I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way


“MEMOIR: ‘D’ “


Twinklebear’s mum “D” (left) and nan.



It’s a good thing that I’m writing for an audience of people who believe in the Twin Flame journey and other spiritual matters. Otherwise I will come across in this memoir, as a candidate for incarceration in the looney bin. With that said, I am divulging to you that I speak with Twinklebear’s long-passed mum, “D.”


Whether by sheer force of my will, providence, or fate, I have forged a spiritual connection with Twinklebear’s mum, who I call “D” and who passed on a few years ago.. “Twinklebear” Lesley Maclean is my Twin Flame.

After having found Twinklebear in 2015, after who knows how many decades or centuries we’d been separated (we are reincarnated Twin Flames who were married in past lives), Twinklebear rekindled the spiritual flame in me, that had dulled to an imperceptible flicker since I was a child.

As you might know from previous memoir installments, I come from a highly spiritual family. My mom had the ability to see and speak to spirits, ever since she was a young girl in her village in China. After she emigrated to the US as a child in the late 1910s, her ability to see spirits (okay, ghosts—happy now? Ha!) continued unabated in New York. Our family lore is chock full of stories, to this effect.

However, for whatever reasons, after my teen years I’d taken a decidedly agnostic bent, relying on only the visible, palpable and audible for my beliefs—in contravention to my familial roots. I had become, a hardcore skeptic. This all changed after Twinklebear and I reconnected two and half years ago.

Twinklebear and her mother enjoyed an elevated spiritual consciousness together. Twinklebear related to me, about the times when she was young, when she she “D” sat in circle in their local spiritualist church. I realize that this type of spirituality, encroaches onto the paranormal. But, seeing “ghosts” and such, are certainly outside the confines of what is “normal.” This extended spirituality of Twinklebear’s rubbed off on me. I became spiritually reawakened.

I began talking to “D” sometime in 2017, probably around September. Although I can’t remember the exact time I first spoke to her, I can tell you how it transpired. One day when I was deep in thought and worried about some health issues that Twinklebear was having, I felt this palpable presence.

I don’t know how I knew, but I knew it was Twinklebear’s mum, “D.” I felt a warm and friendly flush fill my head, and this warmth, like an entity, had a personality. It was like a warm glow, a convection current in my skull—that seemed to be a very warm “pink” to me.

It is odd to describe a sensation as a “color,” but when I mentioned this to Twinklebear, she said that she feels the same warm “pinkness” when she senses her mum’s presence.

By the way, every time I sense “D’s” presence, the physical dynamic is always the same. When this “pink” warmth seems to fill my head, this sensation of a pleasurable warmth flows downward, first filling the spaces in my neck and shoulders, before it enters my torso.

This is how I know when “D,” is there with me.

Since then, I’ve felt her presence and talked to “D” several times since around September of 2017. After that first time, I was able to initiate contact by saying, “D, are you there?” When she was there, I got those warmth sensations that I described.

There are times when I ask her if she is there, and I don’t have my “D warmth sensations,” and that is when I’m sure she is not present. But when she is there, the sensations are as palpable as a real thermal current.

Another way I can describe these physical sensations, is that they are “euphoric.” I know that “euphoric” is a descriptive psychological term, but that is the way that “warmth” I described, feels as it infuses my upper body. It feels “joyous.”

Joyous, as in euphoric.

The times I am certain when “D” is there with me, are usually times of stress if I’m concerned about Twinklebear’s welfare. Doreen has never failed me, when I need her in those times of worry. For Doreen and I share the same concern about our beloved Twinkle.

But she can be there, just when I want to commiserate, because of the great love we both have for Twinklebear. “D” knows how very much I love “our” Twinklebear–my beloved Twin Flame. We share this. Today was such a time when Doreen was there for me and Twinklbear. We share such a love for Twinklbear. and that is our bond.

I feel such a close spiritual closeness with “D,” perhaps because of our mutual love for Twinklebear. We share a collective love and concern, for Twinklebear.

Because I tend to worry about Twinklebear (although no longer for health reasons, thank God!), I sometimes want and ask for “D’s” help. As I did this morning. Here is verbatim, what I said to her and what transpired….

“D, are you there?”

I felt that familiar warm, pink “euphoria”, suffusing my head, then covering my shoulders like a comforting emotional coat—telling me she was there.

“Hi D. Please help me to love and protect Twinklebear, also with the help of God. I love her so much. And I love you too.”

I felt that “pink warmth” flow down and inundate my torso. That’s when I knew that Doreen was with me.


I love you, Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way