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My twin flame Twinklebear is my mirror image but feminized.

About a week ago, I learned that my twin flame Twinklebear woke up with a strained right neck muscle, a wry neck. That same morning, I woke up with strained left neck muscle, also a wry neck.

There are times when one of us suffers some sort of bodily injury. The other then develops pain or symptoms in that same body part, usually on the opposite side, without having any prior knowledge of the original injury. These “coincidences” both amaze and amuse us.

But these phenomena are merely symptomatic of how very close Twinklebear and I are on both physical and spiritual planes, “signs” as it were—of our twin flame relationship. Twinklebear and I have something so precious, so deeply unusual, that what we have transcends all of the “coincidental stigmata” that I mentioned.

While phenomena of coincidence such as synchronicity of occurrence or thought offer “proof” of a couple being twin flames, of the sort that you’d find in the “Ten Ways You Can Tell You Are Twin Flames” websites, these are incidental in our case. For Twinklebear and I, there is deeper meaning to what we are and have, beyond mere “twin flame parlor tricks.”

Twin flame theory posits that at the dawn of time, twin flames were single souls cleaved in two by God himself, the two halves of the separated souls inhabiting two separate people thereafter. Since twin flames are of the same soul, they share profoundly, the same SOUL DNA and therefore, the closeness that ensues as a result.

The closest analogy in the secular world (as opposed to the spiritual world that twin flames reside in), are identical twins who can feel what their twins feel, and “know” when something happens to the other twin.

However, Twinklebear and I have a closeness that far exceeds that of physical identical twins. Imagine a person that you feel you need to be with every single day of the rest of your life. Not even identical twins feel that. I cannot live without my Twinklebear! I futilely tried to leave her three times early on, and it almost killed me! My God! I need my Twinklebear so much!

Imagine a person with whom you feel you must share every nook and cranny of your being, every little secret in the darkest corners of your mind, that go untold to others—and you know what I have with my Twinklebear.

Imagine a person whom you feel you can talk to about anything no matter how personal or intimate. Imagine that this person is of the opposite sex as Twinklebear and I are—and you can appreciate how very close twin flames can be–as Twinklebear and I are.

Imagine a person with whom after you meet, all of the personal inhibitions and intimacy barriers fall, as if you’d known this person forever. And you have known him or her forever, because you two are two halves of the same soul.

You are truly “two peas in a pod,” as you were one soul in a pod, before you were split from your twin at the dawn of time. The profundity of this closeness, goes far beyond waking up with mirror image wry necks, or thinking the same thoughts at the same time.

Wae are so close!

Imagine a person with whom, you feel their deep fear and depression, that exceeds what one would feel with an ordinary spouse. A person with whom you feel their deep relief at the lifting of a serious problem. The empathy one feels with this person, is so strong, that the emotion could be the twin flame’s emotion.

You are one with this person, whether the emotion is extreme sadness or unfettered joy. You ride with this person, through the peaks and valleys of life, like a couple in a single car of a roller coaster.

You would do anything for this person, as he or she would do for you, because you love this person more than anything in the world or the Universe. I have felt this way since the first day I met Twinklebear, especially with respect to protecting her. I will always love and protect my Twinklebear.

Imagine that you have been historically, a reticent conversationalist like me. Before I met Twinklebear, I could not sustain more than a two minute conversation without it becoming tedious, even irritating to me. Yet, I find it not only enjoyable, but necessary to talk to my Twinklebear for hours on end.

I need her!

We talk about anything and everything, and when tiredness prevails, we can just chill together, as if we’ve know each other forever–which we have. In our loquacious talks (mostly on her part….”DONK”….hey! That hurt, Twinklebear!), we discuss our united emotional ups and downs. In the event of an upturn in emotions, we happily feel good!

There is an aphorism that relates to the economies of countries that goes….

“A rising ride lifts all boats.”

If one us experiences a “rising tide” of happiness, the other other of us feels it too. Right now, Twinklebear and I both are enjoying a rising tide of happiness. Yay!


I love you, Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



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TO MY TWINKLEBEAR: I will always love and protect you like the fierce and tenacious Sookybear I am.

I am the “Twinklebear Police.”

I am not a policeman, and Twinklebear is not a city or town that I work for. Twinklebear is the love of my life. She is my Twin Flame Eternal and my Eternal Wife in past lives. I know I’m using almost supernatural terms, but that is what we are—beyond the ordinary.

Before I met Twinklebear, I would have said that using such grandiose terms such as “Twin Flame Eternal” or “Eternal Wife” is a sure sign of delusions of grandeur. But that was then is this now.

Experience is indeed, the best teacher. I have learned that special relationships such as ours, which would outdo many a romantically ambitious Hollywood movie—do indeed exist in the Twin Flame & Reincarnation Universe. This is a realm in which Twinklebear and I gratefully live.

Twinklebear is in fact, The Love of our many lives. I am the reincarnated version of past Sookybears, and I have this in common with the “Myselves” of my previous lives with my beloved Twinklebear:

I have always loved and protected her unfailingly.

And I am an “Extreme Bear” when it comes to my Twinklebear’s welfare. It is my eternal mission to head off or quash any threats to my Baby before they do any harm to her, using any and all weapons at my disposal. These threats often aren’t just human in form. They are at times, circumstantial in that they are generated by just living life.

My inner compulsion to not just love her, but also protect Twinklebear is so deeply wired into my genetics—that there is no doubt that I have always done so in a past life or lives with her. We don’t entirely recall with sharp precision some details of our past lives as man and wife, but make no mistake about it—our past life or lives, does and do exist in a different dimension, as solid as the laptop in front of me now.

It seemed in 2015 when I met (or rather, “reunited” with) her, that this instinctual need to love and protect her, was unleashed immediately in its fullest form. I had the subliminal thought….

“This woman is my delicate flower. I love her and I must protect her at all costs.”

There was no lead up to the idea that I should love and protect my Twinklebear. There was no gradual realization, that I was destined to be her protector and lover some time in the future. There was only the simple truth, that I felt that I was programmed to do so from day one—predestined, as it were.

If you have been following my twin flame journey with Twinklebear, then you are well acquainted with our episodes of my protecting or rescuing her in past lives perhaps centuries ago, retold by us. The retelling of these, is based on succinct recurrent dreams, visions, and latent memories both clear and murky. But there is zero doubt that these events happened.

I usually write these memoirs with readers in mind. This time however, my heart is aimed squarely at my special woman, Twinklebear. My sweet love, my eternal wife, I have a simple but profound message for you….

My Baby, you mean everything to me. Please know that I will always love you, and always protect you. I will always take care of you. I will always protect you, with every means at my disposal, and with every ounce of my being. Always know this simple truth, no matter what comes our way. In other words, “We got this, Baby.”


I love you Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way



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TWINKLEBEAR: My constant companion.


constant: continually occurring

companion: someone you spend a lot of time with


The twin flame phenomenon can be very simply condensed:

You meet a complete stranger, who to the best of your knowledge you have never met before. You are inexplicably attracted to said stranger, as if drawn to him or her by some mysterious, preexisting bond that seems to have always been there. You feel at first meeting, that you have to have him or her as a constant companion for the rest of your life, and this conviction persists as an overwhelming compulsion against all odds.

See? Simple, isn’t it? With these concise conditions in mind, you can now skip all of the “Twelve Ways You Can Tell If You’re Twin Flames” articles you’ve been stockpiling to read.

This is what happened to Twinklebear and me. We fulfill all three parameters of twin flameship and let me tell you, it has been a wild and wonderful ride! The famous “Cyclone” roller coaster at Coney Island has nothin’ on the twin flame ride. The soars and dips of the twin flame relationship, are gut-wrenchingly stomach dropping, and euphorically exhilirating at the same time.

Distilled down to its most basic level, Twinklebear and I feel that we cannot live without the other. The thought of even one day without contact with the other, is excruciating.

It always boggles my mind, how very simplistic this sounds. “We cannot live without each other.” Yet, imagine the very real panic either of us experiences, when we haven’t heard from the other, a few hours later than expected—never mind a day or two.

When I am with Twinklebear, I feel like I am ensconced in the safest home sanctuary, where I can totally be myself. I can say unequivocally, that with everyone else I’ve known or know in my life, there is a certain degree of “holding back,” a natural self-serving secrecy that does not exist with Twinklebear and me.

Twinklebear is as necessary to me, as a physical part of myself. That makes sense, since one’s twin flame is supposed to be a true reflection of oneself. When one looks at one’s twin flame, it is like seeing a mirror image of oneself.


onself: the person speaking

When I speak to Twinklebear, it is like talking to myself at times. On the most basic of levels, what we say resonates with the other, as if one is merely repeating what the other is thinking. My interaction with Twinklebear, has the familiarity that I have with myself.

Given this, it is no surprise that synchronicity of thought is a common occurrence with twin flames. Twinklebear and I frequently will speak what the other is thinking at that exact same time. This will elicit a “Wow, I was just thinking that when you said that!” exclamation, when it happens.

Because my interaction with Twinklebear has the same feeling of familiarity that I have with myself, I have no inhibitions when it comes to talking to her. I can tell her the most intimate things, and be as uninhibited with her, as I am with myself, when I am alone.

Being twin flames is taking free-spiritness to the nth degree. When are people the most free spirited? When they are alone, because it is only then that they are free from the constraints, opinions and influence of others. When two people are true twin flames, this is the feeling they have with each other.

And, one particular advantage of being twin flames is, one can revert to our most innocent child-like behaviors. This is especially true of us because we are the “babies of the family.” Isn’t the stereotype of the baby of the family, a “spoiled brat?” Ha!

Waaaaa! I need my Twinklbear! And I need her every day!


I love you Twinklebear
Forever and a day
Twin flames, podmates always
Bear pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



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MY TWINKLEBEAR Glowing with good health and so pretty.

This is the day after the day, that was the day and a year after this fresh beginning began.


Did you get that? Fresh beginnings sometimes take time to get rolling. The inertia of the status quo, especially status quo that is of the worrisome kind, takes effort, mental and spiritual energy, and the means to overcome it.

Gaining the impetus for movement past the deadly obstruction that Twinklebear and I faced, required the Machiavellian cunning and obsessive determination of a Sherlock Holmes antagonist. Guilty as charged! Like the culprit in a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle novel.

I had the means, motive and opportunity!

Today is the day after the day that was a year after the day that the impetus was enabled in it’s final stage. Did you get that? On the day in question a year and day ago, my twin flame “Twinklebear” had her health-giving surgery. This vital surgery, removed a cancer from Twinklebear, that hopefully was a permanent banishment of that dark and malicious crab.

(1) “The means”—the ability to procure professional services.

As a writer, I like wordplay. It is a fascinating exercise in making readers think. A realization that takes thought, is more rewarding than a concept that is given to the reader on a silver platter. Hey Reader, work it it! There’s no free lunch here. What the hell? Why should I do all the heavy lifting here?

(2) “The motive”—my great and endless love for my Twinklebear.

You know from “Memoir: I Saved Her Life”—that I was instrumental in helping to save Twinklebear’s life a year and a day ago. If you read that memoir carefully, you will know how I was the paramount piece, in helping to save Twinklebear’s life. This is not braggadocio, but fact.

(3) “The opportunity”—my sweet and stubborn Twinklebear allowed me to help her in the only way that realistically mattered.

(When you look up “stubborn” up in the dictionary, Twinklebear’s picture appears with it. After Twinklebear reads this, she will “donk” me. Ha!)

Twinklebear is a very proud person. You would not believe how stubborn she is. Thankfully, she temporarily put aside her almost insurmountable pride, to allow me to utilize the means to help her obtain the her necessary medical treatment.

Stated clearly, we had no choice. It was the only avenue to the goal of wellness for her. Recognizing the reality of this, Twinklebear relented and let me help her. This severely wounded her pride, but I don’t care!

The priority was getting her well, whatever it took! Since I was the only one in the position of being willing or able to help her, I gladly took on the responsibility. That’s what “love” is, baby.

If our roles were reversed, she absolutely would do the same for me. Besides, as Twinklebear’s twin flame, I know that my mission is, as it was in every past life we shared, to protect her. I am truly her guardian angel.

That old memoir I mentioned, detailed what led up to the surgery, and my part in the coordinated effort to save my Twinklebear. Today, a year and a day after her surgery, the means by which I enabled her life to be saved, is not important, it was the achieved end that matters, and that achieved end is wonderful!

What I did then was the single most important achievement of my life, because of everything Twinklebear means to me.

Just look at that picture of Twinklebear above, fully glowing with good health, and bursting with vitality—and you know that this is true. My achievement, of which I am ironically proud and humbly grateful, gave her and me a fresh beginning.

It is that achievement that brought out the sun, after a dark period of cloudy emotions and inclement gloom. It is the achievement that spawned hope, instead of limitless fear. It is the achievement, that gave us our present and future back—after we feared the absence of any such thing.

The sun is out, and our fresh beginning is so welcome.

The sun is shining on my Twinklebear, and the sunlight reveals a natural beauty that is rare, that comes from within as well as her obvious physical beauty. Because the sun shines on Twinklebear because she is so well now, it shines on me too. That warm optimism on my face, feels wonderful. I love my Twinklebear so much, too much!

The warm wind of Indian summer blows on us, as the nightmare of a year and a day ago recedes into the rear view mirror of the past. Twinklebear and I feel so happy, so content—that everyday stresses now seem uncomfortable. Before a year and a day ago, the normal stresses would have seemed downright insignificant, because of the unwieldy weight of worry that we were under then.

Twinklebear and I have a serenity, that was absent a year and a day ago. While enduring the inevitable daily stresses we all have with work and family, it is easy to forget how utterly oppressive the air was a year and a day ago, when the specter of serious illness filled the air like a foul stench. Now, the air is lighter, and heavenly at times.

Serenity envelopes us now, like a comforting warm blanket.

Yes the past has been dark, especially before a year and a day ago, but now the present and future are bright.

Full disclosure—48 years ago, I also had cancer. Twinklebear talks of the “five years” that is the medical standard, until she is deemed clear of that evil crab. At times like that when she feels the natural anxiety that afflicts cancer survivors (of which I am proudly one), I like to remind my sweet Twinklebear, that I was told 48 years ago, that I would be clear of the cancer “after 15 years.”

Hey, that was 48 years ago! Twinklebear my Baby, I love you. You are doing fine. You are doing incredibly well my love, you sexy thing! “WINK”

The sun is warm, the wind is friendly. The skies are blue, but not as quite as blue as your gorgeous eyes, my pretty Twinklebear. We are well, and that is what matters.


I love you Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way



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WHEN TWINNKLEBEAR SAW IT: Fuzzy image, clearer recollections.

SEPTEMBER 25, 2017

That was such an anxiety-filled time for Twinklebear and me. Twinklebear is my twin flame love, my reincarnated eternal wife, reincarnated from a previous life or lives. By (and I will write it the Brit way here) 25 September, 2017—we had endured several months of uncertainty with respect to ominous gynecological symptoms that she was having. But by the 25th of September of last year, we knew the truth:

She had cancer of the uterus, that required surgery.

That surgery, was scheduled for (and I shall write it the Yank way here!) September 25, 2017, with a wonderful and skilled surgeon who we found. Things were coming to a head.

Ironically, the anxiety noise coming to a crescendo, was a relief because we finally knew. It was a relief because knowing the truth, pointed to a solution, and that solution culminated in the life-saving surgery that Twinklebear had on September 25, 2017. Thank God!

Yesterday, while looking forward to next tuesday, which is the one year anniversary of Twinklebear’s surgery, we began reminiscing about the recurrent dream that Twinklebear had about me and us, multiple times a year since she was 14, until recently. Those dreams stopped entirely, when Twinklebear and I met (“reunited,” really) in late 2015. To refresh your memory regarding this recurrent dream, here it is in Twinklebear’s own words:


“I’ve had this recurring dream since I was about 14 years old. There were some years I had it more frequently, but I had it at least twice a year, every year. In the dream, a really ancient Chinese man–he must have been centuries old in my dream–took me, kidnapped me from you, and imprisoned me in an underground type of place, beneath a Chinese restaurant.

It wasn’t like a basement, but more like an “underworld,” if you know what I mean. This ancient man took me because he liked my light colored eyes—they were green in my dream. He imprisoned me in a glass casket in this underground, although I was alive.

The ancient man took me away from my lover, an Asian man who wore all black. I didn’t realize until I met you in 2015, that this man was you. His face was yours! In my dream, I now recognize his face, as having been yours. Anyway, this man who took me, was of a different tribe than you and me, if that makes sense.

In my dream, you wanted to get me back, to rescue me. You somehow got into this underground, and killed my captor, and then took me outside. The details of my dream were always the same, but I now recognize you, Sookybear, as my lover in my dreams! He always wore black in my dream, just like you always wear black–and his face in all my dreams, was your face!

You took me outside into the sunshine, and I looked all around, bewildered.

I said….’Where are we?’

You said….’Keep on running, we have to get away from here.’

It was cold where I was in captivity, but then we transitioned in my dream, into a warmer climate, like going from New York to Southern California, if you will. In my dreams, you look the same as you do now, in all black, but you were younger in my dreams. I think it is amazing that you were in all those dreams, all the dreams were the same dream. But the dreams stopped after I met you!”


During our reminiscing about the dream, we experienced several true “Oh my God!” twin flame moments, when Twinklebear had some latent memories surface about the recurrent dreams, that she had not remembered before. It seems that talking about spiritual events with deep introspection, sparks heretofore hidden memories. Introspection becomes “retrospection” in the process.

To begin with, Twinklebear recalled that for the last three or four years prior to our meeting in 2015 before the dreams ceased completely upon our meeting—the dreams evolved into “companion dreams”—that dovetailed with and were related to the original recurrent dreams.

When Twinklebear was conveying to me how the recurrent dreams were changing and morphing into some sort of “companion dreams” to the original dreams, she said to me….

“Oh my God! I just remembered a Chinese woman in these other dreams, and these dreams were somehow related to the other dreams where you save me! But the places are different…”

In these companion recurrent dreams I also save her from abductors, but under different circumstances. In the companion dreams, Twinklebear was fleeing from multiple abductors of eastern European origin. She describes them as “Russian looking.” While she was running away from them in the streets, a Chinese woman of about 60, came out of nowhere and pulled Twinklebear into the woman’s Chinese laundry, while saying, “Come in here with me, I will help you!”

Twinklebear realized the woman in the dreams was my mother, pictured here in NYC’s Central Park in 1938.

Twinklebear said to me….

“Oh my God, I just remembered something about the companion dreams! There was a Chinese woman who hid me from the males chasing me. She was abrasive and stern with me, even though she was trying to help me. You came in later in the dreams to save me. This woman, I just realized that she looks like your mum! I asked her, ‘Are you friend or foe?’ Then she pulled me off the street into this laundry!”

When Twinklebear described my mother’s demeanor, she was accurate to a “t.” My mother was at times, a difficult and brusque person, when she wasn’t being kindly.

It should be pointed out that my mother had a laundry, but Twinklebear knew nothing about the physical layout of my mother’s laundry, or the streets and landmarks surrounding it. I then showed Twinklebear the picture on the top of this memoir of my mother’s laundry. When Twinklebear saw the picture, she said….

“Wow, as soon as I saw the picture of your mum’s laundry, some memories came back…it made me feel all eerie, truly, really! I DO recognize it, even the long street in front of it! The shop has large glass windows in front and a glass door…. as if I was looking from the front of the laundry, I can see the side streets intersecting at the corners…and I see a garage….and I see a lot of grass…and I see a fast food place of some kind….I do feel that your mum was instrumental in us finding one other, my mum too!”

I was bowled over! She described details regarding my family’s house with the laundry at ground level (my parents owned the building, and our home was the 2nd floor flat while we rented out the 3rd floor flat) that she could not have known, for I never divulged these details to her.

She was right about the large grassy area, that was right next to our building when I was a kid. When I was a kid, this was an empty lot with grass, trees and other foliage. It was like a slice of the country next to my house. It was such wild patch of country, that I used to hunt for black widow spiders there. It later became a Carvel ice cream place, before becoming a KFC.

This latter was accurate in her seeing, “…a fast food place of some kind.” Twinklebear was actually seeing the same location in different eras (the foliage filled lot that later became fast food places), with visionary accuracy!

Twinklebear was describing the gas (petrol) station across the street with its garage and service bays when she mentioned the “garage.” Again, there was no way she could have known about that gas station garage across the street, because I never told her about it.

She was also accurate in seeing the streets at the corners of the block, that intersect the “long street” she visualized in front of our building. That “long street” is Northern Boulevard in Queens, New York—which stretches for 73 miles out to Long Island.

NORTHERN BOULEVARD: The “long street” she saw that stretches out 73 miles to Long Island.

Most astonishing was her description of the laundry in her dream….

“The Chinese woman who looked like your mum, pulled me inside this narrow and long laundry….there was a counter at the front, and she led me past that counter into the shop….there were a series of rooms leading to the back….with hanging clothes throughout the shop…”

Uncanny! My parents’ building was a narrow one, as you can see from the picture. The 2nd and 3rd floors consisted of “railroad apartments” (flats) which were a series of rooms arranged like a train, from front to back. Accordingly, the shop at ground level consisted of a series of rooms or “areas” leading to the back—exactly as Twinklebear described it!

This amazing conversation sparked a fresh detail about these “companion dreams” that Twinklebear had not recalled before….

“In these companion dreams that I had for three or four years before 2015, you also came to save me from the men chasing me, but much later in the dreams. You were also dressed differently than in the original recurrent dreams where you were wearing all black….in these later dreams, you also wore martial clothes, but they were black pants and a white top….and I knew it was you because of your martial arts in this life….”

When she told me that, I immediately knew what she was seeing. Twinklebear has only seen photos of me teaching or performing martial arts wearing an all black uniform, as I was wearing an all black uniform in the original, earlier recurrent dreams.

What she did not know, was that for a number of years while still teaching for my master in his school (before I opened up my own school, I wore black “gi” pants, and white karate “gi” top.

Let me explain. As long as I’m “gettiing into the weeds” of fine details in Twinklebear’s prescient dreams, I might as well go all the way.

In my master’s school, we taught two styles. One was Jow Ga Kung Fu, and the other was an Okinawan style of karate called Kuen do Ryu. The Jow Ga students wore black pants and a black logo’ed t-shirt. The Kuen Do Ryu students wore an all white karate gi.

Because I was proficient in both styles and taught both styles, my teacher allowed me to wear black pants with a white karate gi top, as an compromise and integration of both style’s uniforms—to distinguish me from the students, aside from the black belt I wore. I would have worn all black, except according to traditional etiquette, this is only worn by the master of a school.

All of these recovered latent memories, and visions in Twinklebear’s recurrent dreams might seem to be a series of astonishing coincidences. Except that they go well beyond mere coincidence, into the realms of prescient latent memories, predictive dreams and prophetic knowledge that Twinklebear could only have gained through spiritual means.

In talking extensively to Twinklebear about it yesterday, it does seem that there was some conflating of one recurrent dream with the other. The human mind is such a tricky mechanism. But discussion between twin flames helped clarify the differences between the two recurrent dreams.

On this veritable eve of Twinklebear’s surgery almost a year ago, all of these revelations draw the threads of certainty about us being twin flames closer, forming a more cohesive explanation of who we are. I thank God for this first anniversary coming up, and the amazing recollections about the recurrent dreams and their significance.


I love you Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way



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Twinklebear’s dream was a letter from our past life, and a prediction of our reunion.


“Mongols say that a dream is a letter left on a pillow, a message from somewhere for someone, and they believe most important events were portended in dreams.”



You know this from previous memoirs. You know that Twinklebear has had the same recurrent dream since her teenage years at least twice a year without fail, about her abduction in an Asian land, many centuries ago. You know that in this dream, I was her rescuer from her abductor and her imprisonment. Furthermore, you know that this recurrent dream ceased completely, when she and I met in late 2015.

You may also remember from earlier memoirs, that Twinklebear has had a fixation and intense interest in the Mongolian conqueror of the 13th Century, Genghis Khan since Twinklebear was about the age of 7 or 8. So much so, that she pestered her mother about buying her biographies on Genghis Khan, when, other kids her age wanted comic books.

You do know from previous writing, that I have had the nickname of “Genghis” since an early age. What you may not know, is that I acquired this nickname, the very same year that Twinklebear was born. There are no coincidences in the twin flame world.

Twinklebear and I had this conversation this morning:


ME: “I fell hopelessly in love with you, on the very first day when I saw you in late 2015, and that feeling hasn’t changed a bit since that first day. My love for you, my need for you, was all there on that first day. Your flirty sensuality, that seemed only for me, it was overwhelming.”

TWINKLEBEAR: “I felt the same way, Sookybear. I saw you and I knew!”

ME: “The amazing thing is, you haven’t changed. The way you look at me now, the way you smile at me and flash your eyes at me, the flirty way you play with your hair, the way you tilt your head, all that is so classically feminine, that is hardwired into your genes. You are quite a woman. The way we are with each other now, is the same as that very first day in 2015.”

TWINKLEBEAR: “And you are quite a man, so handsome, you overwhelmed me too. My Sookybear, the very first time I saw you, I knew you! You already had this power over me! It’s funny, now that I know you better, you seem so different, yet the same as on that first day. I love you!”

ME: “I love you too! Yes, it is like magic. Like a magic spell you put on me. We definitely had a power over each other since day one—but in a good way, not in a ‘control’ kind of way.”


The pure love tsunami that Twinklebear and I feel toward each other, that seemed fully formed on that fateful day when we met in 2015, still amazes us. It amazes us because the fact that it was fully developed on the very first day—as if we’d known each other before—boggles the mind.

It is all too easy for us to attribute this phenomenon of us “being in love immediately” to us being twin flames, with all that implies with respect to our having past lives as husband and wife, but it is the only reasonable explanation.

But consider all the “coincidences” with respect to Twinklebear’s deep interest in Genghis Khan, my nickname of Genghis, and Twinklebear’s life-long recurrent dream about me, being her savior in a Mongolian-like setting centuries ago—and you can see how it all dovetails into a pattern.

There is no question in my mind, that Twinklebear’s recurrent dream was a “letter left her pillow” about our past, our present and our future.


I love you Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day!
Twin flames, podmates always
Bear Pact Forever!
12 12 12 in every way



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SAY IT FREQUENTLY: “I love you.”



ME: “Twinklebear, let me ask you something. How much time do you think elapses, between the times when we say ‘I love you!’ to each other? How often do you think we say ‘I love you!’ to each other?”

TWINKLEBEAR: “Oh….let me think…maybe no more than five minutes? I think we say that to each other at least every five minutes!”

ME: “I think your are right. It may even be every three minutes.”

(neither of us expresses any surprise at this)


Twinklebear and I have been twin flames for over two and half years now. This twin flame journey, continues to be a learning experience for us, because it is so out of the norm of what life is expected to be. The twin flame journey is so very unique, esoteric and mysterious because it is straddles two worlds—the everyday mortal world—and the eternal spiritual world.

We are all familiar with the mortal everyday world. It is the existence we all inhabit, where expectations of events and behavior are set and met, because said expectations fall into the “ordinary” spectrum of human experience. The norms of behavior are well established.

Contrarily, behavior that would be considered “extraordinary,” are lovers who say “I love you!” every three minutes.

Unless the lovers are lovesick teenagers in the first three weeks of their puppy love infatuation, that is. Twinklebear and I are not lovesick teens. Our behavior is encoded in a deeper template, a spiritual source of the soul, characteristic of the twin flame journey.

I would not call the twin flame journey an out of the body experience, for it does blend two worlds—the everyday world and the spiritual world. In the early stages of twin flame love, this “blender” of two worlds can be confusing and awesome simultaneously, for the twin flame partners.

Our early confusion and denial, in the face of our immediate, uncontrollable and persistent “illogical” crazy-in-love feelings and need for each other, are well-documented in earlier memoirs. Twinklebear and I have endured the early swirling and tumbling in the “twin flame blender,” to emerge stronger and more in love than ever.

In the everyday mortal end of the spectrum of human experience, there are very few surprises so unusual, that they amaze with unending wonder. Things are much different in the eternal spiritual world, which is irrevocably bonded with the everyday mortal world, within the twin flame journey.

For twin flames, esoteric and mysterious phenomena of emotions, events and behavior seem absolutely incredible to new twin flames, because these phenomena exceed the limits of “normal” everyday experience. However, in time, these unique phenomena become accepted and therefore, seem “ordinary” to the twin flame partners.

Take for example, the subject of my conversation with Twinklebear this morning. One might look at that conversation, and think the idea of two people saying “I love you!” to each other every three minutes is an exaggeration. At the very least, a non-twin flame might consider it absurd, if true. I know that I would have, three years ago.

But that was three years ago.

Three years ago was before I “re-found” Twinklebear(because Twinklebear and I are reincarnated spouses from another life or lives) almost three years ago. Before I found Twinks again, I had never felt a need to tell another woman that I loved her, every three minutes. The idea of it would have seemed ridiculous to me three years ago.

As you can tell from the tone of our conversation, Twinklebear and I consider saying “I love you!” every three minutes, absolutely mundane an act, and “normal” for us. This is an indicator or how deeply felt twin flames’ love for each other is.

The twin flame compulsion to say “I love you!” so easily and frequently, is appropriate and compulsory for twin flames. I will attempt to describe how I feel, when I feel compelled to say “I love you!” to Twinklebear so often. To my utter amazement and gratitude, Twinklebear feels the same way.

When I’m talking to Twinklebear and I look at her, I get drawn into her through her beautiful face. I have the feeling of an ancient history between us, of perhaps millennia. I know her, in the the most profound sense. This life is not our first go-around.

She is my eternal wife!

When I talk to Twinklebear, and gaze into her ageless eyes, so lovely and full of love and promise, what I feel is an endless, bottomless love for her. I feel a pink flush overcoming my head, shoulders and torso, and feel compelled to say….

“I love you!”

The place that this feeling springs from within me, is deep, rich and unquenchable. It is somewhere rooted in my very soul, reaching out to somewhere deep and rich in Twinklebear’s soul, when I say….

“I love you!”

Or when she says that to me. We always reciprocate by saying, “I love you too!” This expression of a profound deep love, voiced every three minutes, is overwhelming to feel, and joyous to experience. Neither of us has ever known anything like it.


I love you Twinklebear Lesley Maclean
Forever and a day
Twin Flames, Podmates always
Bear Pact Forever
12 12 12 in every way